Vitty,
Being a father, not a mother (though some might argue that point), if I was in the same situation here's my 1 1/2 cents worth.
"If you are going to defend the elders after complaining about them, then don't complain. You know life in the truth is like that, so either speak up to them, or they will continue to pressure you and that will be the way it will stay."
Warlock (who only has 1 1/2 cents)