I still love everyone
Well...except those that are going to burn in hell, right?
I am also glad that I am not among the lost that will be spending eternity in Hell.
Edited by - detective on 25 September 2002 12:29:15
detective
JoinedPosts by detective
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25
Are there any brave JW doubters?
by bigdaddysgurl27 inif there is anyone that is doubting the jws beliefs even just the least little bit or just looking for a change in your life?
; please try my jesus.
if the christian life isn't for you then go back to the life you had before.
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detective
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good male friend
by diane401 in.
that's what im first looking for and who knows the bible,i mean jws and we take it from there cus i got a lot to share and a lot of loves you give.. so see you then.
is it then possible to find some in new-york?
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detective
All my life I have given. I always give without asking, or expecting anything in return. I constantly give. All my life. But never ONCE has an avaliable woman really wanted me. Never. Sure, I've had sex... but I have never had a woman make love to me... truely make love to me.
I'm sorry for being so selfish as to need and want love without being used and tossed to the side. I see now how it was a terrible thing for me to want uncondional love from a woman. You have opened my eyes. It was a mistake for me to think that this is something everyone is entitled to have. I'm obviously not one of those people who deserve such love.
This is sad. It is, however, not rape.
A woman's rape lasts a few minutes... mine has lasted 30 years.
Then I read shit like this and any ounce of compassion I feel for you disappears. That statement makes me ill.
Edited by - detective on 24 September 2002 13:19:23
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good male friend
by diane401 in.
that's what im first looking for and who knows the bible,i mean jws and we take it from there cus i got a lot to share and a lot of loves you give.. so see you then.
is it then possible to find some in new-york?
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detective
Incorrect, elsewhere. Mock your pain??? Because throwing around the word "rape" when you mean something else doesn't make a mockery of victims everywhere?
I've tried to do everything but mock your pain! But why hold back at this point? You are so deeply immersed in your pain that you can't see the difference in your experience and the traumatic victimization that goes along with ACTUAL rape.
I will be honest with you. I read your story and I tried to feel your pain. I tried. Unfortunately, I find it very hard to listen to someone who clearly is attempting to play on an emotionally charged word. But you are doing so unfairly, and I think it's an insult to the survivors who really have been raped.
I tried not to doubt your pain. But, now, I feel like you have no regard for the seriousness of your words. And the fact that you are attempting to twist something around so that you can play every angle of "rape" victim is downright revolting.I didn't say you didn't have bad experiences. Nor did I say that your bad experiences are something you deserved, only that you undoubtedly played a part in the scenario. Unless you'd like to deny that you couldn't tell these women to go away or to excuse yourself- you obviously had some degree of control over the scenario. You had CHOICES. Something which rape victims do not have.
Its almost be comical of you to try twisting that "she deserved it" sh-t around with me as you did above. That's a handy way to play on emotions. It's just not at all relevent to you or your situation. How dare you liken yourself to a rape victim? I didn't deny your freaking pain, but now I sure will.
You cared for somebody. You let them cry on your shoulder. Well, good for you! That's a nice quality. Except... you expected something in return. You expected sex. And you didn't get it. And now you have the audacity to call that rape? Well, if it's any comfort, I know lots of people who have similiarly been raped- as per your definition listed above.
My opinion...it's not even in the same neighborhood as rape. But that aside, perhaps you can explain to any women you meet from now on that you expect sex if they want to cry on your shoulder! Tell them that up front. I suspect it will greatly reduce how often you get "raped" by these women. And with the free time that you will undoubtedly have after you explain the sex to problem-listening ratio, you can spend a little time with researching what actual rape victims experience. Perhaps then it might be a little clearer why someone might take exception with your incredibly poor use of terminology.
Edited by - detective on 24 September 2002 13:14:39
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good male friend
by diane401 in.
that's what im first looking for and who knows the bible,i mean jws and we take it from there cus i got a lot to share and a lot of loves you give.. so see you then.
is it then possible to find some in new-york?
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detective
I'm sorry Elsewhere, but what you describe is NOT rape in any way, shape or form.
What you describe is feeling used, manipulated and tossed off. That is NOT rape.
People who feel used often do so because they know that they, in some way, participated in the situation that allowed them to feel used. I'm not saying they deserved to be used, but rather, they offered up something- usually trust or vulnerability- that allowed their manipulator to "use" them. It isn't their fault that they were taken advantage of, it's just that the lingering feeling of being manipulated is often linked to a shame reaction as well. Participants know that they, even in a small way probably facilitated an unfortunate event. They aren't necessarily bad or wrong because of it, but they willingly participate to some degree. I don't doubt that what you feel is very powerful. However, what you feel is not related to rape and using such terminology ends up being highly insulting and unintentionally insensitive.
You had something a rape victim does not have- choice. And that is a very significant difference.
I sat here wondering if I should even bother writing back to you. I've actually heard similiar sentiments expressed before and I always find it extremely disturbing. I realize that you are lucky enough to NOT understand the difference. I don't doubt that you have pain. However, I'd appreciate it more if you would not bandy about words that indicate an experience you know little about- especially after reading your definition of "emotional rape". And I find it particularly infuriating- so maintaining some semblence of self control has been hard here. There many additional things I'd love to say, but I am trying to use a little restraint myself...
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Strange comment after shooting
by detective ini was listening to the news this morning and they were reporting on a double shooting that had just happened at a pharmacy.
details about the shooting weren't available as it had just happened but the reporter detailed what he was witnessing as the emts removed two badly wounded victims from the pharmacy.. about ten minutes later he came back on the radio and gave an update, including comments from a pharmacy employee who was due in at nine am (the shooting must have taken place around 8:30 or so).. .
reporter: did you find what happened here surprising?.
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detective
Hi redhorsewoman,
I'm just outside of Boston. I've been down in RI quite a bit over the past couple of months. Mostly Newport & Providence. To be honest, when i heard about the RI apostofest, I wanted to come but I didn't for several reasons. Not the least of which is that I'm trying to fly below the radar until my friend is ready to really investigate the teachings of the tower. If I thought I could have participated without risking the trust I am trying to build our relationship, I would have liked to have been there. sadly, I think it would be a rather large setback if my friend felt that my involvement with an "anti" movement was that substantial. Perhaps one day I'll get him exploring, not just yet I guess.
Also, seeing as I've never been a witness I think I'd be the odd man out anyway at one of those gatherings! But I realized how close you guys were and part of me wished I had been there.
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good male friend
by diane401 in.
that's what im first looking for and who knows the bible,i mean jws and we take it from there cus i got a lot to share and a lot of loves you give.. so see you then.
is it then possible to find some in new-york?
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detective
Please explain how someone choosing NOT to sleep with you is the equivalent of "emotional rape"?
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Questions For The Skeptics (Unbelievers)
by Zechariah ini have announced i am on a crusade to encourage skeptics to think on the issue in a way they probably have never done before.
i initially have made the mistake of cramming everything into one, two or three posts.
this i should have immediately recognized is an impossibilty because what i have in mind requires a great amount of meditation to fu;;y comprehend.
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detective
I can and will continually provide evidence of it that will be excepted with by anyone with eyes to see.
Zechy,
I like you. I think you are funny.
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good male friend
by diane401 in.
that's what im first looking for and who knows the bible,i mean jws and we take it from there cus i got a lot to share and a lot of loves you give.. so see you then.
is it then possible to find some in new-york?
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detective
Elsewhere,
I strongly encourage you to rethink your last statement.You are essentially saying that engaging a male emotionally as a friend but not having intercourse with him in some way equates to violation. In other words, a male cannot participate in a relationship in which he wants to have sex with you, but you do not. If you are involved in that situation than you are somehow raping him as a result? Denying sex is most definitely NOT the same thing as forcing sex on someone against their will.
Nobody owes sex for friendship or emotional connection. Nobody.
I think you are just furthering that tired old belief that a man cannot control himself. And, that when he does control himself by not acting on his sexual desires, he deserves to be rewarded... with sex!!!
I suspect you are speaking from frustration, perhaps you've felt a bit "led on" in your life. But being led on, is NOT rape. Women get led on too. Perhaps you've even "led on" someone without really thinking about it yourself. Please think about what you are saying. You are comparing violent crime with a lack of compensatory sexual activity (apparently owed to all people who are nice to those they are attracted to).
Do you really want to start confusing disappointment with rape?
Rape is a violent crime. No sex...is no sex. Don't even go there, please!! I like reading your stuff... but you are WAAAAAAAAAY off here.
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Strange comment after shooting
by detective ini was listening to the news this morning and they were reporting on a double shooting that had just happened at a pharmacy.
details about the shooting weren't available as it had just happened but the reporter detailed what he was witnessing as the emts removed two badly wounded victims from the pharmacy.. about ten minutes later he came back on the radio and gave an update, including comments from a pharmacy employee who was due in at nine am (the shooting must have taken place around 8:30 or so).. .
reporter: did you find what happened here surprising?.
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detective
I'm in the Boston area, Sisteract. I honestly don't know if the employee was a JW or not, however the wording of her comment and the way it was said certainly caught my attention. I will say that it got me thinking about the tendency of some groups- ahem- to emotionally distance themselves from others. Again, I can't say for sure either way but her language was eerily familiar.
Oh, by the way, I'm not an ex-jw. Nor a jw for that matter. Just a regular ol' worldly one who made a friend of someone who was never supposed to befriend a worldly person like me! Go figure!!
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bad news
by larc inlast night, my wife zazu, had a stroke.
she is in the hospital, and will be there for a least a week.
she can still think clearly and converse.
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detective
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. hang in there, you two!