Posts by DesertRat

22

It's Friday, It's Friday, It's Friday!

by Jerohobobonadad in

jw
friends

hello all, hope you are well.. it is friday!

my two friends (a couple who are living in sin, would you believe it?

) are coming to stay.

DesertRat

I think a good start for me might be to try & get through the weekend sober. Just in the last week, two of my friends have expressed real concerns about my drinking (which I am slowly beginning to realize is not the wisest strategy for dealing with my many issues..). I don't generally have a problem abstaining for a week or even two (my record is five weeks), but anything beyond that is pure torture. Guess I will just try to take one day at a time & 'cross that bridge when I get to it' (as the old saying goes..).

Other than that, I look forward to sleeping late as usual , going for my Saturday massage & 'energy work,' attending a free metaphysical lecture, & perhaps communing with Nature if it doesn't rain on Sunday (as they are forecasting..). Nothing like a vigorous hike in the mountains to help clear the mind & body (especially on mornings when I have awakened with that dull headache & parched tongue from the previous night's overindulgence ..)

I hope everybody here has a safe & wonderful weekend too

DR

84

The Great Taboo Discussion---Suicides among former Jehovah's Witnesses

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

the great taboo discussionsuicides among former jehovah's witnesses to write about this discussion neither appeals to me nor does it make me feel comfortable to discuss it.. however, it is necessary to consider in light of all the trauma, negative experiences, and personal traged-.

ies that have happened to individuals on this board.

(what inspired me to write this subject was a bone chilling account .

DesertRat

This is one song which has carried me through the difficult moments when I myself didn't want to go on. I always took the reference to 'He' to mean God (understandable as the vocalist became a born-again Christian around the time of the song's release), but think that the inspiring & hopeful message gives meaning regardless of what one chooses to believe..

HOLD ON (Kansas, 1979)

Look in the mirror and tell me

Just what you see.

What have the years of your life

Taught you to be?

Innocence dying in so many ways,

Things that you dream of are lost,

Lost in the haze

CHORUS: Hold on, Baby, hold on..

'Cause it's closer than you think

And you're standing on the brink

Hold on, Baby, hold on..

'Cause there's something on the way,

Your tomorrow's not the same as today..

Don't you recall what you felt

When you weren't alone?

Someone who stood by your side,

A face you have known?

Where do you run when it's too much to bear?

Who do you turn to in need

When nobody's there?

CHORUS

Outside your door He is waiting,

Waiting for you..

Sooner or later you know

He's got to get through

No hesitation and no holding back,

Let it all go and you'll know

You're on the right track..

CHORUS

Peace to all,

Desert Rat

29

$h*T happens

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

i never knew if i was getting attacked by satan because i was doing good.. or if jehovah was allowing me to be tested by satan.

if i was reaping what i had sown.

if it was times and unforeseen occurances.. if i was really not going to have more put on me than i could bare.

DesertRat

Thank you for putting into words what I felt so many times, but could never explain or understand. You are certainly not the only person to have ever felt that way..

Whenever I was having a sh*tty day (& there were many!!!), one of my first thoughts was that I had done something to displease Jehovah (what a positive thought for someone who always felt guilty just for being born..). Which meant going to 'Him' in prayer, or talking to Brother So-And-So--who was always expert at making me feel more guilty even when I had done nothing wrong..

Whenever I tried to look upon the rough spots as attacks from Satan, I felt momentarily better (after all, didn't they always tell us that tests or attacks were a 'good sign'--to be concerned if things were going 'too well?'), but that was quickly replaced by my resentment over Jehovah sitting up there in 'His' chair & just passively letting all of this happen. Which in turn was always a sore spot with me (as you might be able to glean from some of my early posts), & had quite a bit to do with my decision to leave..

Is it any wonder that some of us came out as bruised & damaged as we did???

You are not alone..

DR

14

fluff alert Little known facts about Texas

by daystar in

jw
friends

i did not write this, and am not correcting spelling or grammar here.

but some reasons to love texas and its unique character... .

here are some little known, very interesting facts about texas... .

DesertRat

I understand Austin is the 'coolest city on Earth,' & that if I ever visit I might not want to leave (that according to a friend who lived there for many years & attended the University..). Cowboys & cowgirls mingling with pierced & tattooed executives at the coffee bar--truly eclectic..

Never been there but have read & heard enough to know that I would probably insist on grabbing lunch & a brew at the original Threadgill's (out of my respect for Janis Joplin), head out to explore the surrounding Hill Country, then return in the evening to soak up some of that vibrant Austin music scene..

Other Texan sights or activities I hope to experience one day include hiking the Big Bend country, visiting the Alamo & Riverfront in San Antonio (especially at night when live bands are performing), perhaps a drive down to Port Arthur to honor Janis' roots...& who knows what else..

Every corner of the globe is unique & special in its own way, & the Lone Star state is no exception..

DR

56

Words and expressions a JW can't say

by JH in

jw
friends

name few words or expressions a normal person can say, but not a jw.. when someone sneezes, you can't say bless ya !.

if you want to surprise a jw, you can't say boo !!!

http://www.prankcallsunlimited.com/pcu/booecho.mp3.

DesertRat

Merry Christmas

Happy New Year

Happy Birthday

Happy Halloween

Happy Easter

Happy Anything!!!

DR

26

When a Jehovah`s Witness comes to your Door

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

when a jehovah`s witness comes to your door..do you tell them to go away and close the door?..chat with them untill they run away?..toss them on the bbq and have everyone over for dinner?

...outlaw

DesertRat

One of the VERY few things I don't have to worry about as my apartment complex has a strictly-enforced 'No Soliciting' policy

So nice to be on the other side of the equation..

DR

44

How do you combat laziness?

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

i didn't say "unmotivated" or "lacking direction" or any of the other euphemisms i typically apply to it.

i said what i meant, and i do mean it.. but i can't imagine it has to be this way.

surely there's something i can do to combat it.

DesertRat

I agree with the earlier posters who mention depression as a factor in what we consider laziness. My own laziness & lack of motivation have always been challenges, but when I am depressed, even simple activities such as doing the dishes, or dragging myself to the supermarket for the next morning's milk & cereal, seem insurmountable..

This is the classic scenario of a depressed ex-JW with Asperger's: Sitting on the floor for hours scrutinizing books such as the I Ching or Bhagavad-Gita...something ice-cold & alcoholic always within reach ...while the unwashed laundry, empty beer bottles, & month-old newspapers are piling up all over the place..

That scenario is slowly changing, but I still have a ways to go..

DR

27

If Someone Hurts You Or Pisses You Off, How Do You Usually Deal With It?

by minimus in

jw
friends

just curious.

DesertRat

I envy all of you here who are probably so used to asserting yourselves, expressing disapproval or disagreement (& not just on this forum), or 'taking care of' someone who has violated your boundaries or taken advantage of you in some way..

Me, I certainly know how it FEELS to be hurt or angry. The difficulty lies in communicating that hurt or anger clearly to the outside world, & more importantly, in my letting go of a scenario once it has happened..

It is not uncommon for me to 'rehearse' scenarios (even out loud) when I am alone, acting out all of the ways in which I might tell someone off or 'get back' at someone who has hurt me. But when it comes down to an actual confrontation, I am incompetent. In the rare cases where I am extremely angry & forced to say something, my mind freezes & I end up stuttering..

I do tend to be passive-aggressive, & also have a strong sense of justice & retribution. At the end of a movie or TV program where some mass murderer has met a grisly demise, I often start laughing

Part of my life challenge post-Org is working to change the behaviors that I can change, or learn new ones, & not to hate myself for the limitations which will always be out of my control..

DR

36

Do you have any phobias?

by greendawn in

jw
friends

do you have any phobias jw related or not?

i personally don't have much except having to go through very narrow spaces where i can barely fit in that freaks me out and i also fear very hot weather like over 38 degrees celsius as if it will give me a heat stroke.

DesertRat

Acrophobia (fear of heights)...inherited from my mother, I think..

Used to be afraid of spiders (arachnophobia), again like my mother, until I forced myself to confront it. I had just been laid off from my first job (1992), & decided that one way to feel better might be to conquer a fear. So I went to a local pet store & asked to look at the tarantulas. The instant one of the employees brought out a big brown one & it crawled onto my hand, I thought I would pass out. But just as soon as I realized that it wasn't going to hurt me, the fear vanished..

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I also have what I now know is called emetophobia (fear of vomiting). Nobody's favorite thing to do, I am sure, but for some reason one real episode of sickness at age eight left me traumatized (fortunately it almost never happens to me). Anytime I begin to feel the slightest bit nauseated, I kind of freak out & do all sorts of things (i.e., sit absolutely still, drink lots of herb tea, etc.) in order to prevent the inevitable. I used to think it was a bizarre & unusual phobia, but now realize that I am far from alone (I believe one forum for emetophobes is www.emetophobia.org).

DR

33

How can I be free ?

by youcanhaveago in

jw
friends

can anyone tell me how i find peace of mind ?

how i feel my life is not pointless ?.

i truly feel lost .

DesertRat

Dear Friend:

I have felt very much as you do so many times--the aimlessness in particular. Feeling that nothing makes sense any more...not knowing where (or if) I belong....the loneliness & other factors occasionally leading to thoughts of the Organization again (so far excessive drinking has been the only thing to stop that inner conflict--one of many things I am struggling to address at the moment..)

Each person's journey is unique, but here are some pointers which have helped me (when I can remember them..), & perhaps they will be of some use to you too..

Live in the present moment...give thanks for the gift of each new day, each new breath...try to find humor & meaning in the little things...look upon problems as opportunities...laugh as often as possible, but don't be ashamed to cry...remember these words: This Too Shall Pass.

If you have made the conscious decision to leave the Organization, give yourself a pat on the back for choosing to move forward in life with your own free will. The way out is not easy, but it certainly beats living out the remainder of our days as soulless robots..

If things get really bad, do yourself & all of those who love you a favor--seek help.

And of course, please keep coming back to this site. The help & support available here never ceases to amaze me.

I wish you the very best.

Peace,

Desert Rat