Gary, I hope things work out for you and your wife, they probably will. My parents went through this after 30 years of marriage. My dad an elder, he left it all behind...the religion.
One bit of information my mom received was that frequenting "apostate" sites on the Internet is considered spiritual pornography. A double dirty word and connotation. Of course it is nothing of the sort but really fueled her fire.
Eventually they worked out that each individual is allowed their beliefs, thoughts, etc. They also learned they could not discuss the religion without getting into horrible debates and hurt feelings. So it was rarely brought up.
I wish you the best.
r.