From somebody that has no idea what you are talking about here, your post sounds bizarre. Sorry.
If you are not going to get into any specifics, then why post at all?
I have enjoyed reading many of your posts on this site since you have some valuable experience as a many year elder, and will be sorry to see you fade out.
Posts by Vinny
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8I am afraid......
by OnTheWayOut ini guess i won't.
i can't imagine .
it would be allowed anyway.
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Vinny
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63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
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Vinny
"There is no sky god who is going to punish you for your choices. You will simply reap the consequences of your actions, no less, no more. "
***** Many don't agree with that! And obviously Helricha does not either.
Sounds like you have a clear enough state of mind, Helricha, to figure things out. No reason to rush anything.
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A decision...
by changeling infirst of all, let me assure you that i am in my right mind and am not at all depressed.
in fact i feel a deep, quiet, inner happiness.. this decision has been running around my brain for a couple of weeks now.. my decision is one that honors how good and how beautiful life is.. i am deeply appreciative for life even though i do not know it's exact source.. my decision is to live a full, productive, and happy life.. my decision is to never be a burden to my family.. my decision is to terminate my life if at any time i do become a burden.. i hope to live to a "ripe old age", and to leave this life kicking and screaming for more.. but if at any time my life is marred by an accident or disease that is crippling, physically or mentally and that requires the sacrifice of my family to sustain my life, i will terminate my life.. i will make space on the planet for another person.. i will give my family the gift of freedom and of remembering me as a vital and healthy person.. i will not plague my family with having to force me to take a bath, or having to clean my excrement.
i will not burden my loved ones with having to rearrange their lives to sustain my misery.. i will leave a letter in which i will tell how much my family means to me and how i want them to live their lives to the full, just as i did.. i will tell them to move on and remember me fondly and be grateful they did not have to see my physical pain or mental anguish.. i will assure them that i died happy and fulfilled, that i have no regrets.. i hope never to have to face my decision.
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Vinny
Sounds okay to me. Though, I'd be VERY conscious about exactly how it would affect my son and close family.
We have all had to live with his mom's suicide just a few years ago. And it was so difficult for so long. I know he'd have a really tough time if I did the same without talking it over in detail first. Suicide is usually a very selfish act, but I guess not always.
The other thing that comes to mind is that sometimes I believe going throug the process of dying has some kind of benefit. Especially if we can maintain our dignity along the way.
But, if I was totally bedridden, I admit it would be hard to keep going, especilaly with others having to take care of me.
But then again...
Tough call...
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63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
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Vinny
I was an elder for several years up until just recently when I learned many things about the WT Society that I never knew before, which gave me no choice but to walk away from the faith. Before you go back to the Kingdom Hall, I'd like encourage you to read my story found here:
And there are literally hundreds of thousands similar today.
My wife, a 20 year Witness, also left just last year after learning the facts as they truly are. My step daughter was a regular Pioneer when I left, and she is now out altogether too. As is my son. One step son is still in and he shuns us all, being married into a Nazi-like Witness like family where the matriarch claims anointed status and is gung-ho for JW'ism to an extreme.
That said, and I hope you do examine the faith a much more carefully; but if you do decide to go back, then you should do it 100 percent, IMO.
Tell the elders everything.
Tell your husband everything.
Apologize, apologize apologize to your husband. Even if he wants to separate. Many times they really just need you to grovel for a while. And if you do want to stay married, then you probably should do a lot of groveling and humbling. Cheating after just two weeks of marriage is a tough pill to swallow for any person.
You may have to pay significant consequences for your actions here. But many before you have done even worse and in time been forgiven by their mates, by others, been reinstated and lived happy enough lives thereafter.
Whatever you do with the JW's, I still personally think you'd be better off at least telling your husband the truth.
I know I'd would want to know.
Good luck! Feel free to let us know what happens.
All the best,
Vinny
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49
When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...
by changeling inespecially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.
are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.
does misery want company?.
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Vinny
Dawg,
Some people can actually be more effective in sowing seeds of truth about the WT Society if they remain in by fading away.
There are MANY good reasons to fade away from the WT Society today, IMO.
Especially where much family is involved...
All the best,
Vinny -
49
When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...
by changeling inespecially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.
are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.
does misery want company?.
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Vinny
For the record, even though I have disassociated, I always suggest that people decide very carefully before choosing either.
When family is involved, I usually suggest fading rather than disassociating.
I have great respect for those that do fade away, and fully understand and respect their reasons for doing so.
I have great respect for those that disassociated (or were disfellowshipped) and fully understand and respect their reasons for doing so.
Some have great difficulty playing the games needed to fade though.
Disassociating then is one way to end the games... but also come consequences, especially if you have JW family. -
49
When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...
by changeling inespecially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.
are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.
does misery want company?.
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Vinny
Changeling says:..."I have seen too many people in pain come one here and have others make them feel like loosers for not DA'ing. It has made me wonder where this comes from."
and then says...
"...Why is it wrong and scary for an atheist to post his thoughts or share with us something interesting he/she has come accross, but it's OK for some lunatic to post Bible numerology ad nauseum?
I chose not to read religious threads. Why can't those who dislike atheism chose to not read atheists posts?
When a person goes into a bookstore (supposing one frequents such an establishment) don't they gravitate to the sections that have subjects that interest them and avoid those that don't?
Do people who don't believe in psycology, for example, shy away from bookstores, or boycott them, because they have a psycology section? No, not if they are reasonable people.
We can do the same here. Respect and tolerate all who post, but pick and chose according to our taste.
Simple really.
changeling" -
49
When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...
by changeling inespecially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.
are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.
does misery want company?.
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Vinny
Poppy said:..."personally I dont think DFd ones are trying to get us to share their pain, I just think they are very sure it's the right decision so like any good friend will try and influence us to do the same thing"...
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Anyone getting snow?
by BrentR init just started to snow here at around noon.
it's right at 32 deg so it should stick good.. i snagged some video as soon as the flakes started flying.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1rysatcvwc.
monday we are supposed to get a nasty windstorm..
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Vinny
Is 82 here.
No snow yet... -
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If You Were Ever An Elder...
by Henry inwhat about the responsibility of being an elder did you dislike the most?
i served from september 2003 - june 2006. there were two things that bugged me the most the first was i got sick of the bickering amongst the body.
we had 7 elders and in nearly every situation, big or small, there was some division that got personal.
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Vinny
I became more aware than ever just how power hungry many elders are.
I would guess that probably 80 percent of the elders I knew were not in it to serve at all, but rather to be somebody and to get recognized as well as have control over the rank and file.
One elder used to constantly say, " I've earned my stripes".
Yep, he ended up getting stripped of those stripes too... He literally dies soon after.
Another whined whenever he did not get assembly parts.
Very few ever went the extra mile to help the flock.
But these same ones were often like the Gestapo, just looking for any kind of wrongdoing to jump all over.
And forget humility. That did not exist in the meetings I was a part of. I was amazed at just how bad it was.
And Favoritism? DEFINITELY! Especially was this the case for elders kids in trouble.
I could easily go on...