Baron Davis plays basketball for the LA Clippers in the NBA. In an article on him in a recent Sports Illustrated, Davis recalled something his grandma told him "If I take that ball away, WHO ARE YOU?"
That stuck with me. I thought about people in general, who they are, and sometimes what they might hide behind, whether they realize it or not.....
For those of us who were JW's, it was scary to see who we were when the WATCHTOWER was taken away. (maybe) But the fact is, that this question can only be answered by the person who looks into the mirror.
WHO ARE YOU?
So often, individuality can be hidden by the agenda's and goals of others. Groups are even more insidious, as group thought can give the illusion of individuality, while in reality supporting deep inner needs of acceptance and a network of friends. Isn't that what being a JW provided us?
When you look at sports stars (me being a sports fan, I am fascinated by this) one thing that is striking is the life that sports stars have AFTER they leave is often indicative that without the ball in their hands, they don't really know themselves. That is why so many turn to drugs, alcohol abuse, and the like. Not all do this, but enough do to make it a noticeable trend of sorts in the sporting world. Frequently, those who leave either try to "hang on", or otherwise get involved in self destructive behavior. For many, they comment that they never really thought of life after sports.
I doubt very seriously that anyone who leaves JW's ever gave thought to "life after JW's." Think about all the pre-packaged activities and life goals that didn't require you to think at all. It was already thought out for you. All you had to do was agree to follow the "faithful and discreet slave" (or the Governing Body as they are really known) agree that they were the only "channel" of god, listen and obey by going to all the meetings, preach as much as you could, and otherwise put your life on hold as you wait for Armageddon and a paradise earth. (where all worshipers of Jehovah will wear either nice tasteful khaki's or kimono's. 
)
But now its gone. The "ball" has been taken away.
Who are you?
I have seen (and I don't want to reignite the debate, this is just a personal observation) that some who leave JW's stay within the Christian world, and they see themselves through the lens of their theistic beliefs. When "the ball" of WT dogma was taken away from these theists, they decided that god still existed and needed to be worshiped, just not JW style.
Others choose to reject god altogether. Their identity sometimes is derived from battling both themselves and theists to show that god in fact, doesn't exist. When "the ball" of WT dogma was taken away, they saw themselves very differently, and made very substantial conclusions in their world view.
Because it seems that ex JW's understand ex JW's best, it is not surprising that theistic JW's and atheistic JW's meet. In their agreement that the Governing Body sucked a whole lot of their life and spirituality away, their is also the constant battle of which side is right in their exit from JW's.
It seems to me that this misses the point, as if it is up to one side to convince the other of their rightness.
Is it possible that the fierce emotional energy that fuels these arguments amongst former JW's stems, not from a need to show the other the best way to live, but rather, because we may not yet "know ourselves"? Is it more an expression of our inner frustration that, despite the fact that we have made up our own mind about JW's and whether god exists or not, that is about as far as we have come in our exit from JW's?
Who are YOU? Do we really know ourselves? Have we "discovered" ourselves, our talents and a purpose for the rest of our life?
I don't ask that or write this to preach, and if I have come across that way, I apologize. That isn't my place. At the same time, I wanted to share this line of thought. To me, it gave me a way to explore where I am since I have left JW's. The ball was taken away from me. It left me "naked" and I had to look at myself and see what was there once I was no longer an elder or missionary.
I don't think I have it figured out, but if and when I do, the question I will have the ANSWER to is, "WHO AM I?" And the only person that needs to answer this will be me. I won't need to argue with anyone about whether god exists or not. Those are important questions for sure, but I won't need to argue if I have a satisfactory answer for me. I won't need to convince others.
If I am a theistic believer, I won't have to try to find others to preach to. I can have a conversation about my faith, share it, debate respectfully a few points, and leave off. My goal won't be to convert, knowing that while it is my prerogative to believe as I want, I do bear a responsibility to prove my assertions, and if I can't to the satisfaction of others (esp atheists) then it is best to leave off.
If I am atheist, I won't need to devote my life to a seek and destroy mission of other people's faith. I can have a conversation about my my beliefs. I can debate a few points respectfully and leave off, knowing that there will ALWAYS be those who believe and exercise faith in things they can't see and can't prove.
Again, I write this as a vision I have of "what would be nice". I am not naive enough to think I will see this in society, or even in the ex JW internet community anytime soon.
The point is simply, for those who used to be JW's, its better to know who you are once "the ball" has been taken away. What do you see when you look at yourself? What would you like to be?
You are no longer a JW. You are no longer a part of a cult.
Who are you?
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