Posts by Esmeralda

14

"Mom, I hate the Kingdom Hall"

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i think that they are making all this stuff up.".

this is the breakfast conversation that i had with my five year old daughter this morning.. "oh, really?

" i said, trying not to choke on my coffee.. "mom, what if i get disfellowshipped someday?

Esmeralda

Hi All, thanks for your comments.

Andi, thanks for supporting my belief that no five year old should have to deal with religious issues this way. I don't delude myself into thinking that JW's are the only ones who brainwash their children this way (I saw part of a children's show on the Catholic channel while I was surfing over the weekend...a teenager explaining to a group of young kids about confession. I swear the word "guilt" was used a dozen times in three minutes) but that doesn't make it any easier. My child is afraid that no matter what she does, someone will be unhappy. We just keep telling her that as long as she's herself, we'll love her. I hope it wins out in the end.

Freepeace! I've been thinking of you! I have to click over to your site and catch up. I want to re-link it to mine, I think the url changed, yes? Your writing is excellent, and I know it helps a lot of people. I'm sorry your son is going through this. I'm sure with you beside him that in the end, he'll be okay...

TR: I already talked to my lawyer about this. He told me that it's nearly impossible to get a joint custody arrangement overturned in this jurisdiction. He told me that he's even seen fathers who were abusive or drug addicted get slapped on the wrist; meaning temporary supervised visitation for a few months then back to normal. But I will tell you what I am going to do. I am going to once again, sit my ex down and tell him that he has to stop taking her to meetings two days in a row on the weekend. It's too much for a little one. She said to me this morning "I can't take it anymore."

Those words should never come out of the mouth of a five year old. I am definitely going to have to come up with some adjustment in her schedule...

Thanks for the support guys. It's helping me pick my chin up off the floor this morning.

*hugs*
essie

edited to add:
expatbrit: I asked my lawyer the same thing and he said that the fact that this is a 'free country' is exaggerated when it comes to children. That until they're older (I take him to mean 10-12, somewhere in there) that the court has no interest in what they have to say in this kind of case.

I know, I know. Find a new lawyer. I'm trying to effect change without an all out war. I just realized this morning that I have got to bring this issue up again with my ex...*groan*

And a p.s. to TR, I love the quote at the end of your posts, it's become one of my favorites now. I think of it often.

2

OH man, can I just like...

by Esmeralda in

live in this forum??!!!

song quotes, art...i think that if there was heaven that this is what it'd probably look like *lol*.

essie.

Esmeralda

live in this forum??!!! Song quotes, art...I think that if there was heaven that this is what it'd probably look like *lol*

*hugs* to all
essie
(just a flaky artsy type! *lol*)

14

"Mom, I hate the Kingdom Hall"

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i think that they are making all this stuff up.".

this is the breakfast conversation that i had with my five year old daughter this morning.. "oh, really?

" i said, trying not to choke on my coffee.. "mom, what if i get disfellowshipped someday?

Esmeralda

"I wish I didn't ever have to go there again. I think that they are making all this stuff up."

This is the breakfast conversation that I had with my five year old daughter this morning.

"Oh, really?" I said, trying not to choke on my coffee.

"Mom, what if I get disfellowshipped someday? Then Dad won't talk to me."

"Why are you worried about that?"

"Well because dad said when you get disfellowshipped, that you're not doing stuff Jehovah's way and so your family can't talk to you anymore."

"You don't ever want that to happen to you?" I asked. She nodded, leaning forward and averting her eyes. Her dark hair covered her face.

"You don't have to worry about that. If you don't get baptized, you won't be a Witness and they can't disfellowship you." I said. She looked confused.

"But what if they just do it to me?"

"Baptize you?"

"Yeah."

"They can't just do it to you, honey. You have to answer all kinds of questions with the elders. Believe me, they can't just sneak and do it to you. And you don't ever have to do it if you don't want to."

"Mom, I just hate the meetings. I hate the Kingdom Hall. I wish I never had to go there again. Why can't Dad just be like you?"

Round and around we went awhile longer, but it's plain to see that the child is suffering.

"I hate going back and forth, Mom."

"I know, but the only other choice would have been to have to do things Dad's way all the time, honey. Aren't you glad that at least most of the time you're here with us and you don't have to worry about this grown up stuff?"

"It's too grown up. I'm just a kid."

"I know, and I love you just the way you are."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Sounds like my ex is doing a great job at inculcating the love of God into her, isn't he? HA!

No kid should have to deal with this garbage...

*sigh*
essie

17

Sharon's memorial

by Mulan in

jw
friends

the memorial for my cousin, sharon, who died of breast cancer on september 6, was yesterday.

it was standing room only, and it was obvious how many people really loved her.

i couldn't help but think of all the absent ones, who had been her lifelong friends, and how sad it was that they stayed away.

Esmeralda

((((((Marilyn))))))))

Memorial services two days in a row...and such different circumstances. It must have been like going from scalding water to ice, shocking both times.

I am so glad that they vindicated Sharon that way. The fact that she 'rose above her raising' as Dr. Phil would say, learning to love even though she grew up among people who, in the end, were anything but speaks volumes about her.

I salute her, and you. Please take care of yourself, you must be exhausted.

love
es

35

Speculation on special October 7th meeting

by Seeker in

jw
friends

we have been discussing the special meeting being held in various locations on october 7th.

note, this is the day after the annual meeting, not part of the annual meeting itself.

reports have come in that certain individual congregations have been invited to attend.

Esmeralda

Hi Sam! I was going to say that I agree with you...I too thought that the questions were a bit too specific for my liking...oh, wait? Did you hear something?

No, must have just been the wind blowing.

I figure that if you don't feed the trolls, they'll eventually go away :) Don't let the you know whats get ya down.

*hugs*
essie

35

Speculation on special October 7th meeting

by Seeker in

jw
friends

we have been discussing the special meeting being held in various locations on october 7th.

note, this is the day after the annual meeting, not part of the annual meeting itself.

reports have come in that certain individual congregations have been invited to attend.

Esmeralda

Hey outnfree, I know the new color of the tickets. I think the choice is highly ironic.

They're the color of money.

Don't know what shade though!

essie

35

Speculation on special October 7th meeting

by Seeker in

jw
friends

we have been discussing the special meeting being held in various locations on october 7th.

note, this is the day after the annual meeting, not part of the annual meeting itself.

reports have come in that certain individual congregations have been invited to attend.

Esmeralda

To answer Wasasister:

I have two relatives going, one of whom I can probably count on getting a good report from: the other, no way. She'll skew it however she wants to.

I have been told though that a member of the GB is supposed to be in each location. Being that the annual meeting is the day before and the GB dudes are so old, that should be interesting to pull off...

Anyway, I don't know which congregations in my area are invited, except the one that my relatives attend, and I can't post that here due to identification factors.

I too am wondering if this is going to be just another pep rally type of thing or if it's going to be big. Maximus said that it's going to be big, and I have yet to see his predictions be wrong.

Wait and see...and getting out my popcorn. That is what I'm planning.

Hey, anyone who is going...any chance someone could smuggle a micro recorder in their purse/suit pocket? That way someone could put a transcript of the meeting up on the net after its over and then we won't have to over-interpret it...we can just read it?

Just a thought. I'd go and do it myself if I could get in!

Essie

20

Tickets for special meeting changed!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

hey all,.

i've been out all day, so i apologize in advance if anyone already posted this info.. one of my jw relatives (whom i happened to see while visiting my dad this afternoon) told my mother that she'd have to "turn in her ticket to the elders to get a replacement.

" from what she said, they've changed the color of the ticket.

Esmeralda

Hey all,

I've been out all day, so I apologize in advance if anyone already posted this info.

One of my JW relatives (Whom I happened to see while visiting my Dad this afternoon) told my mother that she'd have to "turn in her ticket to the elders to get a replacement." From what she said, they've changed the color of the ticket. She said "someone got a hold of them...and they had to change them." I translate that as, someone was making counterfeit ones and they found out. *lol*

Like the same person who fabricated the first one couldn't get a hold of the second one, take it to Kinko's Copies or scan it and have more reproductions in five minutes *lol* They are kidding themselves!

I'd like to see how they plan on keeping people who really want to get in out, ticket or no. Most attendants I've seen at assemblies didn't look like they could successfully swat a mosquito let alone stop someone who really wanted to get in.

Just the latest I've heard.

The relative also added "This meeting is different...they definitely want to control who gets in."

Good luck! *lol* Face it, Good ol' Bethel boys, the internet is spreading all your secrets. Better than standing on the rooftop and shouting, that's for sure!

Essie
(who is starting to feel a little like a spy *lol*)

8

chilling out.................

by Nat in

jw
friends

so, how is everyone this fine day!

=;o) i thought i'd stop lurking for ahwile and pop in and say hey!

it's good to see all the different fews and i fondly reconize many names!

Esmeralda

Welcome, Nat! Always happy to see a lurker decide to post! :)

Keep talking...just by writing what you have you've already helped many others still lurking, I'm sure of it :)

*hugs*
essie

8

TY for Welcome, some Questions?????

by Cassiline in

jw
friends

thank you all for the warm welcome!

it has been so hard living, believeing that i am an anomaly.

i realize that there are others out there who have lived and expierenced what i have.

Esmeralda

Hi Cassiline,

Welcome and I totally understand your difficulty in reading COC. Do you know that I was on the internet 4 years...and disfellowshipped 18 months before I finally had the courage to type "Jehovah's Witnesses" into a search engine? I found Freeminds, then H2O, and the rest, as they say, is history for me.

I still had some feeling that the organization was the 'true' religion when I left it, even though I knew it wasn't right for me. After reading COC and all of the info on blood online..etc etc...well I was angry. Very. And I still get that way when I see my ex husband trying to indoctrinate my child. But I try not to let the anger rule my life, because to me that would mean letting them win.

But of course, I am much farther down the road in this journey than you, my dear. There are no 'rules' for recovery. Your emotions will run the gamut, and that is perfectly normal. Just keep talking, keep feeling them, and if (as many do) you ever get scared that you should go back...just keep going forward. That's when you'll see the clouds start to clear.

Sending you all good thoughts. This isn't an easy road, for any of us. But it's so worth taking it.

*hugs*
essie

p.s. *waving* Hi Thirdson, Individual's wife and Individual! Outandfree and Free2bme too :)