Hi, kdk and welcome,
sorry you're in this situation. I am dealing with it in the reverse: it's my ex husband who is indoctrinating my young daughter. She is nearly six, and already has suffered so much from the stuff they put in her head.
I only took her to a few meetings myself, when she was an infant. By the time she was born I was already inactive and then I was df'd when she was 2 and a half.
I'll tell you what we're doing, and hope you can pick up some things that might help your little one:
We remind her constantly, that we love her unconditionally. No matter what she says, what happens, what she feels. I've told her since she was too young to talk that she can always tell Mommy anything: and she does now, believe me.
She can see through the JW facade and knows already at so young an age that she can't be 'herself' with her dad.
Recently I had her sit down with me and watch the service from the national cathedral for the WTC victims. I wanted her to see people praying, because I dont attend a church and her father has taught her that God only hears Witness prayers.
Her eyes got wider and wider as she's listening to these heartfelt prayers of people of all faiths, and I said to her "You see? This is why I don't want to be a Witness, because I refuse to believe that God doesn't hear these people who are crying out to him in pain. I know that He loves them all, not just the Witnesses."
she looked at me and said "Mom, I know they're making all that stuff up. I don't want to be a Witness at all." she was quiet for a minute then added, "I'm probably gonna die though."
Can you believe it? She's not even six and she's already worried about dying at Armageddon. Needless to say we had a long talk after that, and she felt better in the end.
The next day, out of the blue she says this:
"Mom, I just can't, you know, be myself at Dad's"
"Why not? You know your Dad loves you."
"Yeah, but he wants me to be a Witness, and I just don't like it. I don't want to go and he makes me."
"Honey remember you can always be yourself with us at home."
"Mom, when you were married with Dad, you couldn't be yourself either, could you?"
My mouth about hit the floor
"No, I couldn't."
"I'm glad you're not married with Dad then. Cause we'd both have to be like he wanted if you were. I love Justin so much." (my second husband, her step dad)
There you have it. If anyone ever doubted that JW parents do terrible damage to the psyches of their kids, I offer the previous as proof.
Sometime I'll post about the fear she has of getting disfellowshipped, even though I repeatedly tell her they can't do it unless she gets baptized first. She is sure that somehow, they'll do it and her dad won't talk to her any more.
Try dealing with that. It's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
At the very least, please know that you're not alone in your struggle. Keep loving her the best you can, and hopefully that will win out in the end.
That's what I'm hoping for my daughter.
*hug*
Esmeralda