hello all, yes i am still in, but man it's getting so hard to continue to give up my life , for something that's just not happening, my wife is pioneering, and i just cant contiue to do this.
cost of living,gas, we sold our home 4 yrs agao.
man that was a mistake.
Oh, I think they ALL have doubts at one time or another.
It isn't being free of doubt that makes folks stay dubs, it's the mechanism they provide for suppressing doubt through stepped-up activity and the coercive blackmail they use to make you stay if suppressing doesn't work.
RD
my online friend who was baptized at 12 years old has finally decided she couldn't make it as a jw anymore.
with 2 dfs and major depression under her belt, no longer will she be living her life for the elders.
until armageddon comes" since she's a goner anyway (serving jehovah with wrong motivation, not out of love).. her father recently died, .
YAY!
I am very happy for your friend, FFD.
I read the other posts, she is a battered sheep, Big A=hellfire...
And she is leaving still believing in Big A.
Think how battered and bruised she must be to say, phuck it, I'll just wait to die rather than take THIS $shit.
Such a 'spiritual paradise!' (I don't know how to make scully's 'tm' symbol)
Well, it's a start, nobody sees the WT$ for the sham it is all at once, first they get a little freedom, then the show up here.
Let me be the first to say HI to her!
lol.
jumping the gun,
RD
i don't know whether to laugh or cry.. a friend lent me coc yesterday and i stayed up most of the night reading it.
it took me 13 hours and i skipped the meeting today to keep reading, i couldn't bear to put it down.. i am shocked but not surprised at how closely ray's thinking mirrors my own in some ways.
the part that hit me hardest was.... "conviction, it has no meaning or validity unless it is individual, personal.
Good on you, Orgull!
And missing a meeting to read CoC?
Beautiful! Poetic justice at it's sweetest.
Opening your eyes to the real world can be scary, but it gets better in time.
At least now you know that the life you build will actually count instead of being wasted effort.
The bitterness is natural and just goes to show that you really ARE free now.
As always, if I can be of service, I am but a PM away.
RD
i've tried to be nice about it, perhaps i'm just a little too nice when dealing with her.
ok, my ex-fiancee started blowing up my phone again and leaving voicemails.
i considered changing my number weeks ago but changed my mind when her calls stopped but i might need to consider it now.
RF. this one's a nutbag.
Getting a log of incoming calls is a very good idea, dollars for donuts she makes three of four and hangs up for every one that goes through to voicemail.
Never be alone with her, she can allege ANYTHING and you can't deny. The legal system is stacked in favor of women in this area, she only has to say she fears you, and you go to jail. The cops don't need ANY witnesses, much less two.
If she alleges any violence from you, it will be treated as 'domestic abuse' and the sympathy she will get increases exponentially, plus you will be barred from owning firearms.
Start documenting her harassment, write her a formal letter demanding she stop, call the elders to 'help' her, and consider the restraining order once you have enough documentation.
If you find yourself in a confrontation with her, CALL THE POLICE BEFORE SHE CAN.
and RUN AWAY FROM HER as if she has the plague.
if she calls the cops on you, or if you don't run fast enough, she will hold all the cards and you will hear them say 'do you want us to take him away?'
Always get your side in first.
I have firsthand experience here, and I can tell you it's a tough road. anything you do or don't do could set her off, so just do what's smart and cover your tushie.
the voice of rueful experience,
RD
this is my first message and i am glad to be here.
i guess you could say i just got some new light!.
i have had a tough time lately - all the scars from being a jw and not wanting to lose contact with my family.
Hey Maddie!
Welcome to the big bad world of scary scary apostates.
We have punch and pie.
Glad you could make it.
RD
i am very concerned as to what the long term effect of df or ds can be on young children who may be deprived of the love and care of close family members, such as grandparents who may still be loyal jws but whose own married children are dfd.
the modern epidemic of youth rebellion is often traced back to dysfunctionality within the emotional fabric of societies.
the organisation may very well be contributing to this breakdown.. how many members of the gb are married with children and grandchildren who can fully empathise with what their policy is doing, has anybody written an article on this subject..
Welcome to JWD, awesome first post!
Nothing rocks it like a hurricane!
As for the damamge to the family structure shunning causes, Jesus foretold that his message would cause division, even among families.
Where the WTS has it bass ackwards is, they seem to think he was giving a command. They take it as a point of pride how well they can cut branches off the family tree to enforce loyalty.
Sick.
RD
hey everyone, .
i'm a long time reader of this forum but i have never posted.
i've started countless "new topics" and never pressed the "submit post" button.
Hey NUGE!
Welcome, you motor city madman of rock n roll!
YOW!
Good post.
Remember, killing the family may be fun to dream about, but it's hardly worth the mess.
RD
first off let me apologize for the long post, but i really needed to talk about this.
ive been coming to this site for over a year now.
though i dont post much, i really enjoy the banter here and also enjoy reading about the events in your lives.
Welcome, Noontide!
You pondered whether you were using the flaws within the 0rg as 'an excuse to do bad.'
Hmm.
Well, the flaws with the JW's are the real 'truth', the 'truth about the truth' so to speak.
Only your conscience and heart know whether you are using true facts in this way, and I won't judge you because I'm not Jesus.
But whether you are or not, it doesn't change the truth of the facts, the WTS is a sham and you have to make a life you can live outside of it.
I think it's wise to examine our motives and intentions from time to time and think it's admirable that you are able to keep your faith in God even tho the WTS screwed you over.
I too went through years of feeling that God made me the way I am, and was going to kill me for it and was very bitter. Once I realized that the WTS God is NOT the God of the Bible, I was able to make a connection and my life got MUCH better.
I guess you and are BOTH pretty lucky, there are far too many still living the lie.
Glad to meet you and if I can ever be of service, I am but a PM away.
RD
what kind of apology would you like to hear from your parents?.
i'll start:.
we are sorry that we were narcissistic wannabe misionaries and that by "putting the kingdom first" we were really putting our personal goals first and never once factored you into the equation.
Here is the apology I actually got:
"David, I am so sorry I was so caught up in myself and my problems that I failed to protect you and keep you safe. I never knew, I only noticed that you had changed and didn't seem interested in anything anymore. But I had three other kids, teenagers with the drugs and sex and didn't pay attention and get you the help you needed. I didn't know what to do, but there can be no excuse. I am so sorry and I hope you can ever forgive me."
Of course I did. It doesn't lessen the emotional pain, or help me sleep at night, but one has to forgive or it will consume you starting at the edges and working in until you are gone.
No apologies for the religion, for being deprived of what little normalcy I had left, made to be even more of an outcast than I already was. For socially stunting me, failing to raise me AT ALL, in the 0rg or out.
No apology for dragging me out in the field misery and walking so fast I had to practically run to keep up until my little legs cramped up.
But the apology I got is all I need, and more than most probably get.
It'll do.
RD
on a thread i started awhile back, the following was in the initial post:.
otherwise, the wife recently purchased some fancy gifts for her family members.
ready to send home, i asked her how her df'ed sibling would feel being left out.
I'm with Ex-NJ-JW on this one.
The so-called 'gift ANY time' never materialized.
I was allowed to celebrate holidays at my Dad's until I was 'old enough to understand.'
I remember my kindergarten teacher informing me it was my birthday that day, I hadn't even known!
half-day KG, morning.... No little school party, but I hurried home for the party I assumed was waiting.
Silly child, you don't GET birthdays. Now run along and play because it's perfectly safe for a five-year old to run the streets and I'm a stupid lazy bint who is too hung over to wake up just now. Your tears mean nothing, you are bad and worldly and selfish for wanting what any other kid wouldn't even have to ask for.
Love among themselves, what a crock of $hit.
RD
