As a JW infant I was dragged kicking and screaming to the Kingdom Hall. Just when I thought being a Jehovah’s Witness couldn’t get any worse, I overheard something about ‘going door to door’!
Fell hook, line and sinker for the gaff that Jehovah loved me so much he’d put a ‘cap’ in my butt if I didn’t do as He said.
At the age of 17 one of the ‘hip’ Elders ‘studied’ with me in preparation for my ‘request’ of Holy baptism. During those fifteen minutes, I think he did almost everything but ‘bitch slap’ me in the effort for me to come to my senses but I was so stupid and/or indoctrinated I failed to clue in to his subtlety.
However, I thought, like my peers before me, I should do the ‘disciple crawl’ in a blue plastic tub filled with un-chlorinated, luke-warm froth located at the local high-school basement cafeteria where the convention meals were served. I must say my baptism was a moving religious experience.
Finally realized I made a major error in judgment around the age of 23. Over time, looked for a way out and decided on community college. Moved to ‘where the money was greater’ never pursued association with Jehovah’s Witnesses intentionally, other than strained family relations, weddings and funerals.
To this day I have not been officially notified of disfellowshiping or ‘self-inflicted disassociation’ as Jehovah’s earthly corporation prefers to call it. Although, I privately renounced my subconscious allegiance to the WTBTS, after I ordered Crisis of Conscience and read the preface.
And, that’s the way…uh-huh uh-huh…I like it…uh-huh uh-huh.
Flip
PS I realized you wanted a simple answer to three simple questions…tough.
