I want to be around people and have friends, but I don't know how to talk to anyone. I get nervous around new people and I don't know how to react. I don't get it.
Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
Have you ever noticed or thought about how little eye contact most of us have with strangers? Why? Are we afraid of them? What keeps us from opening our hearts to people we dont know?
I dont really know the answers to these questions, but I do know that there is virtually always a parallel between our attitude toward strangers and our overall level of happiness. In other words, its unusual to find a person who walks around with his head down, frowning and looking away from people, who is secretly a peaceful, joyful person.
Im not suggesting its better to be outgoing than introverted, that you need to expend tons of extra energy trying to brighten others days, or that you should pretend to be friendly. I am suggesting, however, that if you think of strangers as being a little more like you and treat them not only with kindness and respect but with smiles and eye contact as well, youll probably notice some pretty nice changes in yourself. Youll begin to see that most people are just like youmost of them have families, people they love, troubles, concerns, likes, dislikes, fears, and so forth. Youll also notice how nice and grateful people can be when youre the first one to reach out. When you see how similar we all are, you begin to see the innocence in all of us. In other words, even though we often mess up, most of us are doing the best that we know how with the circumstances that surround us. Along with seeing the innocence in people comes a profound felling of inner happiness.
Dont Sweat the Small StuffR. Calson Ph.d