I want to point out that the OP acknowledges that he has had good, respectful conversations on JWN with atheists. He isn't addressing any and all atheists, but only the ones who in his estimation have been abusive.
So true FHN another example , if a person posted "What is it with self-righteous Christians ? "
...if we are in a "defensive frame of mind" we would take offence and say "it is a generalization , he's including every Christian alive"
to assume to be able read everyone's intent, every time is not a good idea
The reasoning is "shoot now and ask questions later"
We could just ask a question... What are you trying to say here , could you please clarify ?