Sapphy,
Many on this board know what you are going through. One thing I know for sure is that life is too short and too precious to toss away on a religion that you no longer believe is the truth. It can be very difficult starting over but it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I recommend that you start rebuilding a life for yourself outside of the JWs. You will soon realize from a practical standpoint how many of the teachings are skewed or completely false. Plus it becomes easier to leave the religion.
You never know, your friends and family may be more understanding than you think, or maybe not. But there is a whole world of people that are ready and willing to accept you just as you are with no strings attached.
Many wishes of peace and courage on your journey...