Posts by Gringa

21

Welcome to the board. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I really feel for you. If I married someone and they turned JW or some other wacked out religion, I am not sure what I would do. Personally, I wouldn't even like it if they became a mainstream religion but the JWs are all so all-consuming, and pushy about their beliefs, as you know..... Gosh, I don't even know what to say to you.... only, I am so sorry.....

You may be tempted to join the group to keep your marriage together. Don't - only join if you believe. If you join to please your husband, you are going to be miserable and the hell you and your son will pay will grow 10 fold.

Hugs to you u ((((((U))))))

Gringa

P.S.... my lord, I am sad for you...... I really, really don't know what I would do.

keep us posted and talk to us if you need to. There are a lot of good people here.

49

When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...

by changeling in

jw
friends

especially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.

are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.

does misery want company?.

Gringa

If anyone actually went and DA'd themself begrudgingly because people on an internet forum told them to, then they have bigger issues than the witnesses.

Exactly!

People come here for support, we all share what works for us and those seeking answers have to find their own way.

That being said - I faded -really, I walked away - lock, stock and barrel. I choose not to DA myself because, frankly, when I walked away, I thought I was going to die in Armegeddon in less than a year. I saw no reason. Afterall, Jehovah was going to kill me anyway. LOL When he didn't, I had not heard from anyone in my congregation since I had left, they didn't give a damn, they didn't bother me so, why bring myself to their attention?

I have hardly said a word to my family about my reasons. It has worked for me, to date. Even with so many years behind me,. I do get tired of the constant witnessing I receive from my family that still speaks to me. I resolve it by DA MYSELF from them as much as possible. And, it breaks my heart because, especially, I love my nieces. But, I know they love me too and want everlasting life in paradise earth for me - to be with them - to live together forever.

They would be lost, if they didn't have the JW, it is all they have. Truly, it is all they have. I am not going to change their minds but even if I could, I choose not to because it gives them so much hope and happiness. If I took that away from them, they would be lost..

Every situation is different and when we all share, we can strike a cord with someone. If I thought I could better someone's life by getting them out, I would. I am not afraid, The longer you are out, the stronger you become and the more evil you can see. I

stopped my daughter flat in her tracks when my mom got ahold of her and started the conversion process. I was not going to stand by and let my daughter get SUCKED in. I find my strenght lies better in PREVENTIVE care! LOL

49

When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...

by changeling in

jw
friends

especially if they are the militant, bitter type...are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?.

are they secretly jealous of those who have faded and have kept their family together?.

does misery want company?.

Gringa

Blah, Blah, blah...... LOL I think it is funny that people come here for advice and when people tell them what to do, others say, don't tell them what to do! LOL Twilight Zone.......

I think some of you should chill on the advice on what to say and how to say it - I am a newbie here and I want to give my perspective:

Someone says I have a problem - help me

20 people post saying do it my way - all are different and all give a little story

The person who asked for help, reads it and takes what path they feel is best for them -

Done - period, over.

Yes, some people will be offended when you are blunt. Some will not see the seriousness if you are gentle. Some people need to be bitch-slapped out of the org, some need coddeled - there is a poster for every one.

I hate when you guys think your posting style is the best and tell the other members, basically do it my way - you are wrong. I have seen 3 threads here in the past 24 hours doing just that and no one has all the answers and I think that you can't say your style is the only way!

I have been on support groups on the internet for 10 years - I am of the bitch-slap variety and guess what? Over the years, I have had people tell me that I HAVE SAVED THEIR LIVES. There are other posters on my other boards that don't like my style - but guess what? Their pussy foot style makes me want to vomit but I know there are people out there that need that - I am sure they have saved someone, too.

So, what I am saying - can't we all just let us be ourselves? We don't need to conform, we have had enough of that in our lives. VIVA LA DIFFERANCE!!!!

9

If not shunned by family, why stay away?

by 4mylove in

i was chatting with a friend that is a very active witness.

lazy, but active.

i actually went to school with her brother but she and i have gotten very close these past few years.

Gringa

For my own personal experience, I stayed away because they make you feel guilty and they never stop trying to bring you back to the faith. It gets OLD.....every topic turns into a sermon right down to which fast food restaurant is the best, somehow they can turn it around.

16

Are they a cult?

by TooBad TooSad in

at a recent one day assembly the following remarks were made by elders who had parts:.

"the watchtower is the main instrument that jehovah uses to instruct his people.".

( i wonder where the bible fits in?

Gringa

I am so weird - I wanted out of the ocntrol, out of the rules but I was defensive of the Witnesses for years after I left (third generation, born in). I would defend them and tell people, they aren't all that bad....MY, GOD! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?! Was it the guilt or what?

Anyway, my dear departed little brother said to me one day, you know the JWs are a cult and I said - no they aren't. He said, go to the bookstore or the library and go to the section on cults and you will see all you need to see that they are a cult - well, I guess I had never thought about it before, I have had no one to talk to about any of it - but he got me to thinking and yep - yes sireee - they are a cult, all right. They are one of the largest cults around. How could I have been so blind.........? Took me about 25 years after I left to really see them for what they are.

8

Why I never say "run"

by jgnat in

you might be wondering, when i respond to a lovelorn person in love with a witness, why i never say "run"!

believe, me, i understand the huge personal cost when a non-witness gets seriously involved with a witness.

in my situation, i have a lot of mitigating factors that allow me to take greater risks.

Gringa

Great post, Carla.

We all have our own style and thank you, too, jnat for giving your opinion.

Sometimes a person needs a slap in the face, Dr. Phil style. All the pussy footing is ok, but I do think a number of people need a wake-up call. Look, they already know there are problems or why would they be posting here asking for help and advice?

I say Run and I give my 2 cents at the same time - either they get it or they don't.

18

Were you all excited when you hear bad news ?

by JH in

jw
friends

when i was an active jw, if there was an earthquake someplace, i'd be all excited .

to be honest, i still love bad news .

.

Gringa

Yeah Billy, it is amazing. huh? They forget all the great things people did for each other during Katrina, too. How convinenant.

Seriouly, I can hardly stand to talk to my mom, it is all so depressing - her view of this evil world - and yes, there is evil in humans, always has been, but there is a lot of good, too, I see it - the Witnesses can't. What a sad way to live their lives.......it is really sick, we know that, they can't see it...... just giddy to see people killed... they are truly sick.

G-d, that alone makes me giddy with joy - that I am out of that sick religious Cult.

25

My bit of an introduction

by Thinking in

in a very short time here i have truely appreciated the openess of the people that post here.

the ability to share thoughts and feelings in a most respectful and honest way.

i have been thankful to be validated with alot of what i was feeling and thinking with some things regarding the jw experiance.

Gringa

Purple sofa -

You mention not being a troll! LOL, I already feel a connection with you! I am not a troll either although I have ben told that I have troll qualites because I say what is on my mind, even if it doesn't follow the group mentality.....

I was happy to read your introduction, I feel I know you better.

36

I have a serious and I need your help.....

by Faithful-n-Discreet Wife in

jw
friends

this time last year i met the man of my dreams...he was incredibly smart and charming...he was in tune with me...he made me feel like i was the best thing that ever happened to him.

at first he was a little shy...he didn't think anyone of my caliber would even give him a chance...conveniantly though i had my run of bad guys...and wanted someone different.

he was a devout christian...and i had been yearning for years for some direction.

Gringa

Exactly, why would you want to be with an abuser? You actually think if he left the Witnesses his abuse would stop? No, he would forever blame you -

My father did the same as you did - became a JW to marry my mom. They bore 5 children and it was hell on all of us until he packed his bag one day and walked out on all of us, for his own sanity, I am sure.

If you think that sex is what makes a relationship, you are in for a rude awakening. I don't want to make your grief any worse, I truly don't. I am so very sorry for you, but you must face the "truth" and that truth you already know. He loves Jehovah more that you and you need to fade away, file for divorce and find someone who can love you. You deserve it.

18

Were you all excited when you hear bad news ?

by JH in

jw
friends

when i was an active jw, if there was an earthquake someplace, i'd be all excited .

to be honest, i still love bad news .

.

Gringa

If "new light" came out tomorrow and told the JWs that Jehovah has commanded the faithful to carry out his work to end this system of things, I guaranfuckingte you that there are thousands of JWs that would jump on the bandwagon and murder their own family members/nrighbors for Jehovah.

They are a dangerous cult and will do what ever they are told like mindless drones. I dare anyone to argue that point here - because you all know it is true - they do what they are told without thought.