Ok, so NewLight's WONDERFUL husband canceled Saturday's elder meeting. I also said that we're "prayerfully considering" everything and that we just need some time and need to be left alone for a while.
It seemed fine from the elder's view, and hopefully this will allow this to blow over and we can continue our fade...
So the short term stress is over!
Robert7
JoinedPosts by Robert7
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51
update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....
by New light for you inok... so my husband felt bad that the elders wanted to meet with us and he wasn't responding... so he set it up for saturday at 2 even though everyone said dont meet with them.
oh ya, and everyone said not to meet with them at your house, but again, he didn't want to rock the boat.
it's funny, though he was the first one to leave, he's still afraid and doesn't want to "raise any red flags" he's willing to just say "we're discouraged, can you just leave us alone fora while" feel free to yell at him (robert7).. here's the thing.
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Robert7
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Any actually embarrased to admit they were Witnesses?
by Robert7 inwhen i was active, i was always (usually) proud to talk about being a jw, our faith, reasons for our stupid beliefs on birthdays, x-mas, etc.
now with everything i'm going through, given how much of an impact this is to my life, i want to talk to others about it, like coworkers, and other friends.
but thinking about how i would explain how it's a mind-controlling cult, i feel stupid for falling for it.
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Robert7
When I was active, I was always (usually) proud to talk about being a JW, our faith, reasons for our stupid beliefs on Birthdays, X-mas, etc.
Now with everything I'm going through, given how much of an impact this is to my life, I want to talk to others about it, like coworkers, and other friends.
But thinking about how I would explain how it's a mind-controlling cult, I feel STUPID for falling for it. I actually am embarrassed that I believed it for 10 years, to the point where I just don't bring it up.
If I do bring it up, I will mention that I was in, and I'm leaving because I don't believe it anymore. I don't mention all the stupid rules, all the required meetings, the mind-control, etc, because like I said, I feel stupid to say "I was in a cult".
Anyone else agree? -
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I don't really like my sister...
by cognac inshe has the capability of being nice but i never feel like its very warm.
i've tried to reach out to her before but i just have nothing in common with her.
i don't even feel comfortable around her.. because of her personality, the idea of just being in her presence stresses me out.
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Robert7
Hearing stories like this makes me angry toward the Society. How can they say that they don't destroy families?
I can imagine the agony you're going through. We're having a hard time leaving only a few friends. I can't imagine actual family members.
This may be a case where you need to fade and not get DFd or DA. However you're going through the same issue as we are, which is even though you're NOT DFd, people are still shunning you, so it makes it that much easier to just leave.
I wish I could say more, but everything I've learned about the Truth just proves more and more how it's a horrible mind-controlling cult! -
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update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....
by New light for you inok... so my husband felt bad that the elders wanted to meet with us and he wasn't responding... so he set it up for saturday at 2 even though everyone said dont meet with them.
oh ya, and everyone said not to meet with them at your house, but again, he didn't want to rock the boat.
it's funny, though he was the first one to leave, he's still afraid and doesn't want to "raise any red flags" he's willing to just say "we're discouraged, can you just leave us alone fora while" feel free to yell at him (robert7).. here's the thing.
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Robert7
Junction-guy, exactly! We only have 2 parents, who will at least talk to us. So we have little to lose. And NewLight and I have discussed how if we do fade, we'll eventually get caught, and will have a certain amount of stress always worrying about it. So I go back and forth with fade/DA, and I'm now leaning more on the DA side.
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update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....
by New light for you inok... so my husband felt bad that the elders wanted to meet with us and he wasn't responding... so he set it up for saturday at 2 even though everyone said dont meet with them.
oh ya, and everyone said not to meet with them at your house, but again, he didn't want to rock the boat.
it's funny, though he was the first one to leave, he's still afraid and doesn't want to "raise any red flags" he's willing to just say "we're discouraged, can you just leave us alone fora while" feel free to yell at him (robert7).. here's the thing.
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Robert7
I realize there is no such thing as a dignified exit. I just want to ensure that if there is an exit, that I can at least state my basic case that the WTS flip-flops, they have a horrible track record, and I cannot put any trust in them as the 'sole channel of communication' where you are not allowed to question them. Here I am not arguing IF they are the channel, but if I can trust in them.
Last time I met with them I did have printout of articles showing the flip-flops (which I still have) so it would make sense to beef that up with all the new info I learned and have it on hand. I can show them only using the WT, why I feel that way. If they feel that is still apostacy and want to form a JC, then I am prepared to DA myself. -
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update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....
by New light for you inok... so my husband felt bad that the elders wanted to meet with us and he wasn't responding... so he set it up for saturday at 2 even though everyone said dont meet with them.
oh ya, and everyone said not to meet with them at your house, but again, he didn't want to rock the boat.
it's funny, though he was the first one to leave, he's still afraid and doesn't want to "raise any red flags" he's willing to just say "we're discouraged, can you just leave us alone fora while" feel free to yell at him (robert7).. here's the thing.
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Robert7
Thanks for all your great suggestions so far...
So... as with why we're meeting... I realize that I cannot just blow it off. So I either want to 1) get 'encouraged' and continue fading or 2) leave with a big bang. What I don't want is to have DAd myself by doing nothing.
If I'm going to leave, I want to leave under my terms. So this was to either be left alone, or leave under my terms.
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update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....
by New light for you inok... so my husband felt bad that the elders wanted to meet with us and he wasn't responding... so he set it up for saturday at 2 even though everyone said dont meet with them.
oh ya, and everyone said not to meet with them at your house, but again, he didn't want to rock the boat.
it's funny, though he was the first one to leave, he's still afraid and doesn't want to "raise any red flags" he's willing to just say "we're discouraged, can you just leave us alone fora while" feel free to yell at him (robert7).. here's the thing.
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Robert7
You guys are just so HOT! with APOSTATE IDEAS IT TURNS ME ON!!!
(dont tell Robert7)Hey! I saw that!
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getting over it - how long does that take?
by Switch inin december i started reading things and thinking with an open mind (for the first time in my life).
i'm still discovering things daily that irritate me about the wts.
i've been to about half a dozen meetings since march.
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Robert7
I think one thing that affects the time to detox has to do with how 'deep' you were mentally in, meaning how deeply indoctrinated and mind controlled you were.
I personally never got too deep, so for me it was a rather easy escape. However, it's been 6 months since I've been out, and I still have my 'therapy' here at JWD.
So even if it's easy, you will realize how strong the mind control really is, and it will take some time... -
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Need suggestions... how do I respond to my elders?
by Robert7 inso our fade is not going so well.
too many people have been asking about us, and therefore giving us attention.
we've had no choice but tell select few friends that we're discouraged, and one that we're having a hard time believing the fds in general.
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Robert7
Great stuff... yuck, I will really have to swallow my pride here if I want to continue to fade. Those questions are quite strong, and oh my gosh does that sound like a cult or what?
Every day I am getting less and less afraid of getting DF/DA, so we'll see where it goes. -
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god's organization...
by kzjw inis that term blaphemy, or is it idolotry?
if i'm an ubm, but know that "though shall have no other gods before me" i am spiritually wndangering myself?
my mate tries to defuse this debate by saying the organization exists in the form of angels, but were she to spew that bs to an elder, i'm sure she'd get some serious counselling.
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Robert7
This very much was the big issue I had. They keep talking about avoid idolatry, and once defined it as spending excessive time, energy, resources, etc on something, it is like you are worshipping it. They used Sports as an example. By watching too much sports, devoting too much time to it, it was like sports was your idol.
So to me, when I hear the "FDS", "The Society", "God's Organization", mentioned MORE than anything else in meetings including prayers, it surely felt like the Organization was being worshipped.
So trust your gut here. They won't admit it, but the Society wants to be idolized.