Violet,
This is all so sad. You said about your mum,
I'm deeply hurt that she can't just forget about them and get on with serving Jehovah afterall his opinion is the only one who counts.
As long as she stays in any congregation, she will be exposed to these scornful attitudes. Too bad, I wish it were any other way but this! But the truth of the matter is, the congregations are filled with judgmental people ready to pounce on any weakness or imperfection they perceive, or they hear about.
It's like the scriptural warning said (I think it came from the book of James), "Watch out that you do not devour one another!" But that is exactly what JW's do, in their quest to be the most impressive. They step on top of and over each other to do so!
Ever since I've left "the truth", I have found people who like me and love me for who I am, and not what someone else's opinion is, or for how many hours I got in field service last month, etc. I have found far more love, helpfulness and concern out here (on the whole) than I could ever have dreamed to have found inside the now-unfriendly confines of the Kingdom Hall. (I attended 5 halls in nearly 4 decades.)
I hope you and your mum both find peace and people who really love you. You deserve better than what you're getting.
J.R.Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)