I am angry. I was lied to and had my trust betrayed by a group of people who were themselves just as decieved as I was. I am also angry because this cult has hostages that I love.
I am bitter. I am bitter over my own stupidity and the people I hurt because of this foul group. My bitterness also grows from the fact that in my trusting ignorance I exposed innocent people and led them to believe the tortured "truths" extracted from the Bible and spun in Brooklyn into a cruel fairytale.
Despite the anger and the bitterness, I do not define my presence here by those emotions. I am here as truth-teller. I don't know if you have ever seen The Grapes of Wrath, but in one scene an Okie who has been to California and is returning tries to tell the Okies on their way out full of hope, about the tricks being played upon them, of the deceptive fliers put out with offers of good pay and lots of work. His advice is unappreciated and he is called a troublemaker. He says, "I am just trying to tell you what it took me a year, a wife and two dead children to learn" or words to that effect. It didn't matter, the hopeful Okies saw him as a liar. We are like that. We have been there and come back. We have bought experience, paid for at a premium price. We want to share that information, not for personal gain of any kind but to warn the others off the destructive path by telling them about the stench in Brooklyn and the ruses used on them.
Our true stories are disputed and we are labeled as trouble-makers. No matter. We told the truth.
Though angry and bitter I see my role as an honest eye-witness, maybe even a champion of sorts to those who don't realize they need one and who may in fact resent it. For their own sake, I try to strike down the lies and tell them the way things really are. I do not see myself as a victim but as an opponent who has won his own battle and is now helping to win the war. The enemy is a coward and no threat having only bluster and hot air with no muscle to back it up. If we can only open the eyes of these sheep to see that villian as he is then we have the victory. It has happened a lot which is encouraging.
You too have bought experience and are sharing it. It swells my heart to see the quality of the people on our side of the fray. I have no doubt that this sect will be brought to its knees and finally decaptiated. I want to be there to see it and would be happy to sharpen and if the honor was allowed, to swing the axe. There are a lot of good people being taught to hate by twisting a message of love and corrupting it with selfishness, egotism and false promises. I will be glad to see that tongue silenced, and the bricks from that group of buildings pulverized and dispersed.