Thats ironic you mentioned the depression and drinking. My entire family is J.W. and they all abuse some form of substance either alcohol or perscription drugs. Some are on antidrepessants. Even my aunt who is a missionary, I have never seen her without a drink in her hand. I guess they need somthing to cope. I am 31, I married out of the faith, a Catholic man, sound familliar? Thats what started me wondering....My family, all J.W.s, were very judgemental, tormented people. They didnt seem to be happy or at peace with their lives. I wonder why...Yet, my husbands family seemed so loving, caring, giving and very much at peace. Imagine, a pagan Catholic family. Anyway I honestly didnt believe my family when they said they would make it through armageddon but my husbands family wouldnt. I guess it was my own conscience speaking to me because I didnt know anything other then what the W.T.S taught. I realize now that I wasnt crazy. I am happily married, have two children and I am getting on with my life. My family did come to my wedding but I had to get married by the justice of the peace. They wouldnt step in a pagan church. I cant believe I actually thought this was normal behavior! I swore to myself when I had my first child, I would never do that to my children. I was never baptized so I was never disfellowshipped. My family is a little distant but they still speak to me. I dont say too much about religion other then quote scriptures that disagree with their teachings when they get judgemental. They can argue with almost anyone but they cant change the scriptures if they are pointed out to them. By the way, they hate it when I do that. My one uncle one time admitted that he liked debating with me. I hear he is getting the internet soon. Should be interesting what he comes across. I think its up to us not to get down to their level. I went through an angry period when I found out the truth about the W.T.S. But now I realize I should be angry at the society, not my family. They were tricked and are victims in all of this too. They are more tormented then I am right now. Thank God I learned the truth before I got my children involved in this mess.
You deserve much happiness, Im sure the lessens you have learned in life although unfair, will make you a wonderful person, wife and mother! Take Care and God Bless! many prayers!!!!
Posts by Solace
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15struggling & need feedback
by wildeflower ini am 32 years old, have been disfellowshipped since age 17. was born & raised in the "truth.
" my father was and still is an elder.. without going into the gory, painful details: i have kept in somewhat contact with my parents in the last 15 years (i can't believe it's been that long!
) by calling them and popping over to their house, etc.
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Solace
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struggling & need feedback
by wildeflower ini am 32 years old, have been disfellowshipped since age 17. was born & raised in the "truth.
" my father was and still is an elder.. without going into the gory, painful details: i have kept in somewhat contact with my parents in the last 15 years (i can't believe it's been that long!
) by calling them and popping over to their house, etc.
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Solace
That is so sad that your parents would lose contact with you. The W.T.S society thrives on breaking families apart because it causes the remaining J.W. family to need the society even more. The W.T.S tells them that "they are their spiritual family and thats all that they need", Then they forbid the family from having contact with the disfellowshipped one. It must be very painful for your parents to actually believe that you are going to die in armageddon. I feel sorry for people going through that. I know how I used to feel when I believed that. It really isnt their fault that this has been engrained into their minds. My uncle once said about my children, in a sad voice, "Why should I form a relationship with them and get attatched, They are just going to die anyway". He later apologized and felt awful. The W.T.S teaches their members that all people even innocent children are to be destroyed. When I was young I used to wonder why would Jehovah kill the children, It wasnt their fault that their parents are worldly. The W.T.S. teaches the children are like baby rodents that will soon grow into big rats and needed to be destroyed. This kind of teaching is sick but very common for the W.T.S. Imagine hearing, reading, and meditating on that kind of material every day. Your family is controlled by an organization. Your parents think they are doing wrong by God by contacting you and are afraid to. Im sure it is killing them not to. Its not their fault they believe this. They are truly brainwashed. Im sure deep down they think its cruel and sadistic too but are afraid to say anything. You on the other hand, know the truth. My advice, Dont play the W.T.S game. As long as they are speaking to you, Go to visit them! Im sure they miss you very much. You are not a J.W! Dont let the W.T.S. control you anymore!! You Go girl! I will be praying for you!!!!!!!
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WoW, I talked to my aunt today.......
by flower inthis was my first time talking to my df'd aunt since i found out the truth about the 'lie'.
i gotta tell you things are really different now.
i almost wanted to get on my knees and beg for forgivness for the way she has been treated by my family for so many years but i was at her place of work.
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Solace
Isnt it sad that families can be torn apart by a controlling organization? I would love to hear of more reunions. It would be a nice change!
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THE ELDERS JUST CALLED US, NEED HELP
by ARoarer inthe elders just called us.
one called and another one got on the phone first to ask if my husband would meet with them.
my husband told them he had nothing to say, and if they are going to make any announcement from the platform that slanders our name in any way we will sue them personally, and if we do meet with them we would only do it if our lawyers come and to tell jr brown and mario marino to come also.
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Solace
I agree with some of the others, I would just deny it. Its not their buisness what you do. As long as you dont admit to anything they cant disfellowship you right? Dont give them the satisfaction. They love to rip families apart, it makes the remaining J.W. families even more dependant on the society. "You only need us, we are your spritual family" they say. Remember that one? Anyway the only reason half the witnesses serving today are not disfellowshipped already is because their congregation never found out their sins. My mom commited adultry and shes still a J.W. Heck, she even had a baby by the guy. We all know, if the society doesnt know then Jehovah doesnt know right?! Pretty scary, the whole situation and how so many are going through this kind of thing. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING......Very sad. I will pray for you and your family..
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Scriptural Separation
by Earnest inat the meeting this evening the co discussed the scriptural basis for separation between husband and wife.
he said there were three grounds for separation :.
1. the man refuses to support his family in a material way.
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Solace
The teaching has changed quite a bit since I was young. I grew up with no father because in the 70s, when my father left us, The W.T.S at the time taught that in order to be scriptually free to remarry my J.W. mother would have to prove adultry and that abandonment was not enough. She spent 10 years of our lives searching for him, hiring a privet investegator just to proove that he had slept with someone else so we could get on with our lives. I now understand as you also pointed out that J.W.s can divorce for much lesser reasons nowadays. I dont know if my mother knows this, and if she remained single for no reason for 10 years. She may but is just in denile about the whole thing. With the ever changing doctrines its hard to find consistancy in anything. You will also notice that most of the changes only benifit the W.T.S. The 3rd reason you mentioned being able to seperate if your mate doesnt support your being a J.W. How awfully clever of them to throw that one in. This is just another example of how the W.T.S is controlling peoples lives where they have no buisness doing so. They would do just about anything to increase the size of their organization. That would mean more $ for them.
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Mickey Mouse & Santa Claus & JWs
by ARoarer inok everyone, i have had this on my mind since i decided to celebrate christmas this year for the first time since i became a jw at 19. i stopped because i was taught it was "pagan" and "idolatrous", and now on thinking clearly and with no jw's clouding my thoughts at meetings, i have reasoned personally, yes, jws will say that christmas is pagan and santa claus is a pagan lie to children.
and christmas is so commercialized and materialism is at it's finest.
yet when i think critically with powers of reasoning i see that though jws don't celebrate christmas, they love to go to disney world.
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Solace
A similar example I gave to my J.W. family, a Christmas tree in your home is no different then any other floral arrangment in your home. When I start worshipping it they can have reason to worry. Seriously, I believe the no Christmas rule is the W.T.S way of once again seperating family during a very family oriented celebration of the birth of Jesus, This hurting your family and causing them to think you are shunning them. Most J.W.s believe the teaching that the W.T.S is the only family they need. "We are your spiritual family" they say. Most think it is a just minor issue but the end result is a huge gain for the W.T.S.
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Dear Robert
by Mann indear robert, i have done quiet a lot of research into the jw's doctrines.
you see; i had to make an important decision on where i stood as far as jw's are concerned.this chat site was very helpful.
i have taken the most controversial members ( lol there are only three of you)from this site, in opposition to eachother and used your arguments and reasongings to "help" make my mind over on what i would do.. the thing that struck me most about your arguments were: you kept giving glory to jehovah and his son, you used scriptures to back up your points (glad you didn't give out where to find those scriptures) you didn't make excuses for the wtbs errors, and misdeeds, and the most important point was your pointing out that jehovah himself will judge and spank his own people.
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Solace
Mann: Reading your comment about "removing the scum" brought me back to a teaching I used to hear at the kindom hall which addressed killing innocent children in armageddon. I used to wonder why Jehovah would kill the children, I didnt think it was their fault that their parents were worldly. The W.T.S referred to it as exterminating. The worldly children were like baby rodents that would soon grow into big rats, and needed to be destroyed.This type of teaching conditions members to view other human beings that are Non-witnesses, as scum, rodents, or garbage. Pretty sick, I must say.
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Cross or Stake, which is biblically true??
by butalbee incan somebody please explain to me biblically where it says jesus died on a stake and not a cross?
need theological details, please.
prove your stakely beliefs...
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Solace
Another one of my least favorite J.W. Quotes-(Witnesses addressing people wearing crosses as jewelry) "Would you wear a gun aroung your neck"?! Yawn....Seriously tho, growing up a J.W. (God help me)! I have had issues with this, wondering why witnesses thought they had the only understanding of what Jesus died on, and why everyone else thought he died on a cross. I had to investigate, being the closet apostate that I was. I came across some scriptures that put doubts into my mind on the J.W teaching of the stake. John 20:25 refers to Jesus having marks from "nails" in his hands. Not "a nail" which leads me to think if he was on a stake, his hands would have been put together and had a large nail or similiar item to attatch. On a cross, his hands would have been seperated and therefore required more then one nail. "Nails". Another that caught my attention was John 21:18&19, in most Bibles refer to Jesus hands being outstretched. I have not seen it describing his hands being pulled upwards. Anyway, Does it really matter? Stake, Cross, who cares. I think its yet another way of J.W.s being "seperate from the world" and believing somthing completely different then everyone else. Basically giving them somthing else to debate. God knows they love to do that.
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Will you go to the memorial
by freeborg ini have never missed a memorial in 20 years of being a jw, but this year will be the first one i miss because i refuse to set foot in any kingdom hall.
i was wondering how many that post here will attend the memorial and if so why?.
do you feel pressured into going by family or friends?.
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Solace
The only people who could guilt me and my sister into going were our grandparents because we have deep respect for them. Now that they have died (my grandfather because he refused a bloodtransfusion) I do not feel the need to attend. I dont buy the "only the elite 144,000 can partake thing". I never understood why other religions put such importance on partaking of the emblems, while us J.W.s just passed it around, almost daring anyone to take a sip. Jesus said, "eat this, Drink this, Do not let one crumb be wasted". I asked my J.W. Aunt what they do with all the bread and wine after the memorial and she said "They throw it in the garbage". I think thats about as respectful as calling God by his "supposed" name. I mean, do J.W.s call their parents by their first names?! What is that?!
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BREASTFEEDING IS EATING BLOOD!
by metatron intell every witness sister!
warn every pregnant publisher!.
don't breastfeed your kids!
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Solace
Hi, Im new to the site. Couldnt resist this one. I was raised a J.W. My entire family being J.W. (they have distanced themselves from me since I ask so many questions) This subject has been bugging me for years. I have brought it up to the family before and they look at me like Im nuts. Anyway, I cant believe it never was brought to the W.T.S attention. Its yet another classic example of how enlightened the society is.