I can totally see why some people prefer to fade. It almost always has to do with keeping the relationships with JW family and/or friends. The family part I can see...not so much the friends. I do feel sorry for the faders tho. It must be horrible to sit through meetings and listen to that BS and knowing you have to do it or your family will shun you. If they fade long enough I suppose they will eventually get off the pot and it won't be a complete shock. Thus, the beauty of fading.
Posts by fern
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30Can fader's ever get off the pot, so to speak?
by dinah inthey seem afraid of what they would lose.. can you not see what you would gain?
most of us born-ins lost our first loves at the hands of the wt.. why live a lie?
don't it eat you up?
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Varying degrees of JW misery
by fern insince joining this forum, i have noticed the varying degrees of jw misery that people have experienced.
with a religion that is supposedly so accross the board and regimented, there seems to be a lot of difference in strictness on certain rules, etc.. i have many times talked about my unhappy childhood growing up as a jw but since joining this forum i can honestly say, i didn't have it nearly as bad as some who's stories i have read.
there was no incest or sexual abuse that i now of, and the attitude towards dfing was a little bit more relaxed.
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fern
WTWizard-
That guy sounds like a complete control freak. I suppose this religion caters to someone with a personality like his. I completely agree with you about the ones raised in a less strict environment are less likely to see this organization as hell on earth and might be less likely to leave......even though I did.
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5
Varying degrees of JW misery
by fern insince joining this forum, i have noticed the varying degrees of jw misery that people have experienced.
with a religion that is supposedly so accross the board and regimented, there seems to be a lot of difference in strictness on certain rules, etc.. i have many times talked about my unhappy childhood growing up as a jw but since joining this forum i can honestly say, i didn't have it nearly as bad as some who's stories i have read.
there was no incest or sexual abuse that i now of, and the attitude towards dfing was a little bit more relaxed.
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fern
Since joining this forum, I have noticed the varying degrees of JW misery that people have experienced. With a religion that is supposedly so accross the board and regimented, there seems to be a lot of difference in strictness on certain rules, etc.
I have many times talked about my unhappy childhood growing up as a JW but since joining this forum I can honestly say, I didn't have it nearly as bad as some who's stories I have read. There was no incest or sexual abuse that I now of, and the attitude towards DFing was a little bit more relaxed. For instance, my mother allowed us kids to visit our DFed father every other weekend and as far as I know, nobody ever gaver her grief about it. There were a few instances of elders being real a-holes but for the most part, they were ok and doing what they thought was best. Anyone who has moved around a lot noticed this at all?
fern
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24
I think it's time for me to let some of my JW family members go...
by cognac ini came to this realization last night.
i got into an argument with my mother.
she said that maybe i should be looking at myself as the cause of hubby not becoming an ms. she said that i was not letting my husband make the decisions and not letting my husband be the head of the household.
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fern
I think limiting and monitoring your child's time with your mother is the way to go. JW's will never stop trying to influence the thinking of their loved ones....even at the most inappropriate times. Let me give you an example.
Several years ago my teenage son's best friend killed himself. My JW mother was very supportive at first and even attended the funeral with us, which was at a church. A few days after the funeral we went to visit mom and she went on a rant about how my son's friend was not in heaven like they said and he was in the ground and that's where he would stay because what he did was a sin in Jehovah's eyes. The stricken look on my son's face is something I will never forget. Needless to say, I had to do major damage control when we got home. My son was not raised a JW and has only minimal knowledge of their beliefs I told him that just because that is what Grandma believes, does not make it true. I think this helped but I'm still angry that she added more greif upon this already heartbroken boy....all in the name of "the truth".
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Did you ever feel as if you were socially handicapped as a Witness?
by Hiddenwindow insome of my friends claim that growing up as witnesses was a normal experience, in the sense that they did not miss celebrating hollidays or associating with wordly people.
these friends are witnesses in good standing, therefore, i doubt their sincerity and feel that they just do not want to go agaist the party line.
in my case, since i always had the desire to participate in extracurricular activities in school (and did when i could), always felt actracted to politics and art, it was very hard.
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fern
Yes, and I STILL feel that way after being out for 22yrs. Not being able to participate in many school activities makes you a "freak" to your classmates. Being different is not a good thing when you are a kid, especially. I was forever marked and in turn, that has made it hard to form friendships even now. I have a son who just graduated and he is very social (I made sure he got to do all the things I didn't), because of that, I inevitably had to deal with his classmates parents and teachers during certain activities. For some reason, I always feel like I'm not as good as they are and that they look down their noses at me. It might be all in my head but the feeling is very real. Such a destructive religion in soooo many ways!
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I am scared for my life. Problems with punks.
by SnakesInTheTower inso i have been having problems with the renters that moved in next door.
the last 3 months have been a living hell.
i have an ongoing complaint with the slumlord that owns the property and the city is taking him to court for derelict vehicles next week (which i anonymously complained about, but i am sure i am being blamed for).
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fern
Snakes, I work as a corrections officer and have seen and/or heard just about everything under the sun. I'm telling you this in all seriousness.....you have to speak their language and that involves guns. It is somewhat naive for people to tell you to take self defense classes. Although not a bad idea, it certainly couldn't hurt...but this guy most assuredly carries a weapon at all times. You need a gun in a gun fight, otherwise you're dead. I can't believe you say a gun "isn't you". This punk will kill you without a second thought so I hate to sound harsh but you need to get over the "isn't you" thing.
Take your $600 and put it towards a gun and ammo and learn how to use it. I recommend a revolver since there's no safety to fumble with. Seriously Snakes, you must do this. As Dawg said, if you are to the point where you feel threatened enough to pull your weapon on someone, you better be prepared to shoot him. Don't wave it around to intimidate. Also do not do the look straight ahead and ignore routine as suggested by someone.....this is war...like it or not... and you need to be aware of where the enemy is at all times.
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What's Your All Time FAVORITE Song?
by minimus inmine is al green's "let's stay together".
i .
what song's your fav?
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fern
Wow....this thread has given me lots of ideas for my iPod.
Solsbury Hill-Peters Gabriel
The first time ever I saw your face-Roberta Flack
Levon-Elton John
Fire and Rain-James Taylor
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Are YOU 100% Out Of Jehovah's Witness Control?
by minimus inas long as you have family still in the jw`s..there`s always going to be problems..it does`nt go away.........................outlaw
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fern
I would have to say yes, a little bit. Only because mom is still in and I can't speak freely about the Org. because if I did, my relationship with her would suffer. Other than that I'm free and couldn't be happier!
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Tell Us Dumb Things You've Heard Elders & Bethelites Say
by minimus inthere are a lot of dumb organization men.
gb losch seems to be the top dog for dumbness.. in the local halls i've seen and heard many dumb elders open their mouths.. one elder had a fondness for bible prophecy and watchtower chronology.
he always speculated on what the "watchtower really means" about a statement in print.
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fern
One elder was reading from the Watchtower and pronounced the word organism as "orgasm". He didn't skip a beat and nobody in the cong acted like they'd heard it.....but I know they did!
Another time a teen brother in the hall who was getting into some minor trouble was talking to the elders and they were trying to get to the bottom of what was causing him to act this way. One of the elders asked him "are you acting out because it bothers you to have a black stepfather? I know it bothers me." unbelievable but sadly true.
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Black Widow Spider bites beware!
by Thechickennest inthis year in our part of the county all spiders and black widows seem to more visable this year than in previous years.
this brings me to the subject i would like to share with all in with idea that someone might saved some agony.. last thursday night just before i was going bed, a large black spider fell out of my pajama shorts to the floor landing in between my feet.i tried to step back but the spider spun a web between my feet and when i moved the spider moved!
i finally got a good look at the spider before i wrapped her in tp and flushed her down the toilet.
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fern
This thread is creeping my out! Today I'm am starting a MAJOR basement cleanout and I was already thinking of the spiders down there. Think I'll wear gloves and long sleeves and carry a big can of bug spray.
Confession- you might want to get checked for Lime disease. That bullseye you're talking about is a classic syptom after being bitten by a tick.