lonestar63

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Posts by lonestar63

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  64

  How long does reinstatement take?!? Question for a elder or someone thats been in this situation

  by N-kiki in

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  lonestar63

  N-kiki,

  This is a great place to learn things that the Society doesn't want you to know.

  The Truth about "The Truth", so to speak.

  Don't be afraid.

  I hope you spend some time here.

  Lonestar
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  7

  Did you feel like you made a difference?

  by purplesofa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading the courage to give, inspiring stories of people who triumphed over tragedy to make a difference in the world.. .

  millard fuller's, founder of habitat for humanity, story is in this book.. he became a millionaire and in the process of working too much was faced with losing his wife.

  we need to give it away and make ourselves available for whatever god wants us to do.

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  lonestar63

  I donated my time and my crew to help build 2 Habitat Houses. It was a good feeling, but at the same time i felt many were trying to make homeowners out of folks that really weren't homeowners. It's a good cause however, and i'm sure it has made a difference in many folks lives.

  As far as field ministry, it was a chore, and i never felt like i made a difference. I never felt worthy, because of the never ending beatings we got at the conventions about doing more in the ministry. I tried to Aux Pio when i could, and that was a miserable month indeed.

  I respect anybody that is willing to work hard, and some of the most lazy people i've ever been around were the reg pio in our congregation.
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  23

  Thought y'all might enjoy this one...

  by under_believer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey all, just got this email from one of the jw mailing lists i still seem to be subscribed to.... .

  > these are pictures that have just been painted on the various walls of.

  > our lovely assembly hall in plant city , florida .

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  lonestar63

  I remember being in service, working in nice middle class neighborhoods, and grown witnesses commenting on how nice that house is, and she hopes Jehovah leaves it standing after Armageddon, so she could take up residence.

  That comment made me wince then, now it's down right laughable.

  They really think this way.
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  18

  Building new friendships

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  on the thread about 'moving on after leaving the witnesses', it brought to mind how hard it is to build new friendships .. for me i have been out for a little over three years .

  i knew before i quit that it would be important to fill the void that would be left when old "friends" began dropping us .

  lucky for me i worked with some very fun out going people at my job .

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  lonestar63

  I started making other friends years ago, during the beginning of my fade.

  It was amazing how i viewed "worldly" people when i was in. I learned later when the blinders were off, who the genuine people were.

  I agree with you troubled mind. Looking back at that time of my life is discouraging to say the least.

  What type of tournament archery does your husband shoot? IBO? Field? ASA?

  I shoot ASA tournament archery. We may have been at the same shoots.
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  13

  Hello Friends, Part 2

  by lonestar63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i stated in my first post, i had reached a crossroads.. i was never going back to the kingdom hall, ever.. my struggle was i knew i had to tell my wife.

  she is my best friend and soulmate.

  i am indeed a lucky man to have found her.

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  lonestar63

  Snakes, she totally surprised me with that one. I had been expecting the worst.

  Everything we saw that was wrong with the org, we saw together. However, as i mentioned in my first post, she was beating herself up over us being out of "the truth".

  She had reached the same conclusions that i had, probably in the last year or so, but we both were scared to tell the other.

  It worked out well for us both.
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  13

  Hello Friends, Part 2

  by lonestar63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i stated in my first post, i had reached a crossroads.. i was never going back to the kingdom hall, ever.. my struggle was i knew i had to tell my wife.

  she is my best friend and soulmate.

  i am indeed a lucky man to have found her.

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  lonestar63

  As i stated in my first post, i had reached a crossroads.

  I was never going back to the kingdom hall, ever.

  My struggle was i knew i had to tell my wife. She is my best friend and soulmate. I am indeed a lucky man to have found her. I was scared as to what her reaction would be. She was born and raised in the org. It is all she has ever known. Her mother is fanatical about "The Truth", as is most of her family.

  I knew however that i had to tell her the real truth. This wasn't going to be easy. I prepared for the day very well. I've had plenty of training over the years on how to be prepared, or so i thought. I wasn't sure how she would react. I went over all the possibilities in my head. She might have a nervous breakdown. She might leave me, because she always said Jehovah came first. She might get angry at the mere suggestion the Society was wrong. I fully expected the worse, but there was no way i could pretend to be what i was not. She had to know.

  Many things the Society taught was a problem for me, including shunning, issues with disfellowshipping. Also the sweeping under the rug the rampant misconduct of sexual abuse by men in power in the organization. The biggie for me was the issue of 1914. The whole decade of the 80's, my entire time spent in the ministry was based on warning people that we were in the last days, and the countdown started in 1914.

  This would be my starting point in the "Talk" i had prepared for my wife.

  We sat down one evening, the day i decided it was time, and i opened up the May 15th 1984 Watchtower. The headlines stated 1914, The Generation That Will Not Pass Away! We looked it over a bit, then i opened the bible to Deut. 18:20-22 and read that to her.

  That's when she stopped me.

  She put her arms around me, told me she trusted me, she knew something had been bothering me, and she knew that i would make the right decision for my family. She also felt betrayed by the organization, and supported me 100%.

  I was stunned to say the least, and relieved as well.

  We spent the next several days together, and i shared with her the things i had learned about the Society. We decided then and there we would never set foot in the Hall again.

  I feel very fortunate that this did not destroy us. Even though we have been fading for years, the pull of the organization, and the family members that are still in is very strong. Others have not been so lucky, and that is truly sad.

  This year for the first time in our lives we celebrated Thanksgiving, then Christmas! It was indeed a joy of joys! We started our fade when our children were still young, so neither are baptized, for which we were critisized. To be able to celebrate this past year with them was truly amazing. Over the years i've made friends with "worldly" people that are some of the best people i've ever met. They are my friends with no strings attached. The brothers were friends as long as i went to the meetings and stayed strong in the 'truth". I no longer have any interest in cultivating such friendships.

  Our lives are filled with riches and blessings now, none of which involve the Society.

  I appreciate the opportunity you gave me to tell my story, and i certainly look forward to cultivating friendships on this forum!
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  25

  Hello Friends

  by lonestar63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  man am i glad to finally be able to register!!.

  i've been a lurker here for several months, well the old forum is where my lurking began.. i am very lucky.

  i was able to fade without being hunted down.

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  lonestar63
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  25

  Hello Friends

  by lonestar63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  man am i glad to finally be able to register!!.

  i've been a lurker here for several months, well the old forum is where my lurking began.. i am very lucky.

  i was able to fade without being hunted down.

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  lonestar63

  Thanks for the warm welcome, i do appreciate it!!

  I have read so many of your threads over the last few months, i feel like i know most of you guys already. I'm looking forward to developing friendships on here. As i said, i tried for months and could not register. Yesterday was a good day!

  Yes Quandry and Jeff, i'm from Texas. Northern Texas, East of Amarillo. I would rather not say the exact town just yet.

  I'm off to work. I will finish my story this evening. Look forward to visiting with you guys then.
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  79

  How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? Have you Moved On ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been out over 5 years now.

  i feel we all start healing at different speeds depending on how much hurt we went through in exiting ; and how much we've educated ourselves about how and why we were sucked in by a mind control cult.

  at first i felt anger towards the organization , but after learning about mind control within 3 years of leaving the cult i felt sorry for those who are still trapped inside the witnesses being deceived.

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  lonestar63

  I've actually been officially "Out" for a year. Started my fade about 20 years ago, but last year was the first Memorial i missed, so it's offically 1 year.
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  25

  Hello Friends

  by lonestar63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  man am i glad to finally be able to register!!.

  i've been a lurker here for several months, well the old forum is where my lurking began.. i am very lucky.

  i was able to fade without being hunted down.

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  lonestar63

  Man am i glad to finally be able to register!!

  I've been a lurker here for several months, well the old forum is where my lurking began.

  I am very lucky. I was able to fade without being hunted down. Moving out of State, being gone, then moving back and never settling back into the hall certainly helped. I've read some of your stories on here and feel for you, and realize how fortunate i was to just walk away.

  My wife and i got married at a young age, she was raised in the truth, i was brought into the Org at about 10 years of age, and was baptized at age 13. We progressed along quiet well. She regular pioneered for a few years, then aux pioneered after we had children. I became a M.S. at a young age, was considered a very good speaker, and began giving public talks at only 21 years of age. I was loaded with responsibility. Became the Watchtower Study Conductor, 2nd School Overseer, and Book Study Conductor. I'm not even sure if a M.S. is given that much responsibility these days.

  When the C.O. came to visit, the elders recommended me to become and elder, the C.O. approved, and i refused. I felt that was a privledge that i didn't deserve at that particular time. I felt that my hours in field service was not good enough for me to be considered elder material. All i remember taking away from the District Convention was that i should do more in the ministry. (Sound familiar)?? Never mind that i worked full time and had a family of 4 to support.

  What really bothered me was nagging ?'s i had about certain issues. I watched Brothers and Sisters become weak spiritually, and rather than them being encouraged, they were marked as bad association, and the friends stayed away. This was something i simply could not fathom. I usually went on my own, did not report the time, and tried to help where i could. I also felt being an elder was being closer to God, and these men should be above reproach. I really looked up and admired these men. Some things begin to happen that changed my view on this.

  A couple of police officers i knew questioned me about one brother who was under investigation for child molestation. They were trying hard to nail him, telling me that so far about 12 young girls had come forward accusing him of this horrible crime. One being his own young daughter!!! This really hit me hard.

  Then, a young brother that i had been friends with his entire life, came to me and told me that he had been sexually assualted for years by 2 brothers in our Hall, one being our Presiding Overseer!! He hadn't even told his parents yet. He was grown, about 18 years old at that time.

  I was simply stunned.

  I had suspected the brothers in question were closet homosexuals, but i had no solid proof, till now. I told the young brother, and my friend, that a stand had to be made, and i would be there beside him. This was 20 years ago, but i still feel the rage as we sat with that young victim in the elders meeting, and one of the elders asked him if he was sure that he hadn't JUST DREAMED IT ALL UP!!!!! Some heated words were exchanged in that meeting, and i guess i was fortunate that they didn't disfellowship me, but at that point, i did not care.

  Thus, my fade began.

  Both my wife's parents, most of her family, and mine, including my parents, are zealots. This fade had become difficult on her. She felt we were letting Jehovah down. I assured her that we were still the same good people, but i felt lost as well. Occasionally i felt the pull, the need to be at the meetings. These were difficult times.

  Thats when i found Crisis of Conscience online.

  I read it early in the mornings, and late at night when my wife was asleep. I peered over my shoulder, scared to death she would catch me, and freak out. I gobbled up everything i could find online, including this site. Suddenly i felt peace. I wasn't crazy after all! For the first time in 20 years, i had peace. I new that i had to risk everything, and tell my wife. She was my soulmate, my best friend, and i couldn't keep this from her. I was scared to death however that she would not, could not accept what i had to tell her.

  She had beaten herself up for the last 20 years, feeling rotten, like she wasn't worthy of Jehovah. We have all fallen out of "The Truth" she would say.

  I felt like she deserved to know what "The Truth" really was.....................