Skeeter, I respect your desire to bring about change. However, I disagree with your rather crass comments and blanket condemnation of all who post here. To you these blogs may be idle "farting around," but for some of us, who are trying to heal from varying degrees of damage, your comments are not appreciated. You might want to try a different approach. I for one, never saw an earlier post from you on this topic.
happpyexjw
JoinedPosts by happpyexjw
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64
I'm disgusted by YOU
by skeeter1 inposts on fluff are fun...i admit.. posts knocking jws are therapy...i know.. posts revealing wt lies, deception, etc...well, they help those who are still in.. but...... how come no one wants to do any grass roots, writing letters, etc.
to the governments about the jws?
ireland is about to set national policy for its hospitals and doctors on how to handle jehovah's witness patients.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts on this. It is helpful to know that I am not alone. I have always felt reluctant to tell anyone of my JW past. Given my current occupation as a newspaper editor, I know it would cause major shock (how could such a smart lady be that dumb?) and I would not enjoy giving the endless explanations to follow. I guess it is part pride on my part and partly that I don't want to relive the trauma over and over again by explaining to people who mean well but can't possibly understand. There was a JW who worked at my paper who worked in the mail room and was known by all to be a JW. She comes around every year with memorial invitations and I just take it and say thanks. She has no idea that I am an ex JW. The last thing I want is for elders from the local congo here to pay me a visit to re-activate me. Yikes. The publishers kept leaving literature at my door and I finally called the hall and left a message to please not call and no more literature at the door.I find the comments some have left on here about PTSD to be very interesting. I had never thought of that before, but I think there may be some truth to it.
Anyway, thanks all for such interesting comments.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!
by Witness 007 inmy wife's been having mental problems since hurting her back at work...we split for 8 weeks {her doing} then she rings me and says she "can't cope and is lonely" so i return {the drama continues} she seems more stable, sleeping all night...what a change!
her mood had become alittle more stable.
she found a part time job, and has not been dragged off by security like her last job...much improved though she dropped 10 kilos in weight.
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happpyexjw
South Central, I hope you will reconsider. I raised three daughters in the wts. The eldest rebelled at age 15 and plunged into a lifestyle that caused both of us much pain and grief. She eventually pulled out of it, and interestingly, she found religion again as a woman in her 30s and made significant changes in her life as a result. I made my exit and divorce when the other two girls were in their teens and while it was difficult and confusing for them, the eventually made their own choices to leave despite enormous family pressure from witness relatives. All are doing very well and living full, rich, productive lives.
I was one of six kids, all raised in the wts. I was the only who stayed "faithful" until age 40. The others had many problems which I believe were exacerbated by the wts. They all got into varying degrees of trouble, including drugs, alcoholism and mental illness. The unrealistic expectations, the shame and guilt ploys are all things that young people, who are already struggling to grow up can do without.
My point is, you can raise your kids with structure, loving discipline and care without the destructive, controlling, dangerous influence of the wts. You owe it to your kids to spare them the added burden of this religion will place on them. Some of us on the this forum are still trying to heal after many years away from this organization. I regret ever exposing my kids to it.
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Clarify- I'm going back to Meetings to save my wifes sanity! What would you do?
by Witness 007 ini recently posted that my wife has had mental/depression problems since she hurt her back at work 12 months ago....and since after years of picking on the witnesses by me, she finally lost her faith in them and became in-active....victory i thought!
slowly her stress levels began to rise...she quit work and rehab....then the sleeplessness, wierd behavior..wild agression....bizzar stuff.
we split for two months after much stress...she called me back home crying and i relent...she lost many kilo's {pounds} in weight, and isn't doing well i want to help, i was heartbroken to see this.
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happpyexjw
007 you sure have a tough situation. As others here have said, ultimately the decision is yours. One thing to think about though is your own mental health. If you don't take care of yourself, you may soon be in no position to look after anyone else. Can you possibly get her to therapy so that her issues can be properly addressed? Perhaps a combination of treatment with counseling and medication could help her to stabilize the mood problem. If she won't go, you should go yourself anyway. A good therapist can help you to sort things out and figure out how best to support your wife without putting your own well-being at risk. Bless you for caring so much for her -- many would simply walk away from such a sticky situation. Good luck.
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Life After JWs
by Uzzah ini wanted to share some very cool (in my opinion) news.
in two months i will have been gone from bethel for 14 years and attended my last meeting 11 years ago.
i spent 11 years at bethel sacrificing all of my 20's to the borg and finding myself at age 32 with no resume or real work experience.. it has been a tough haul with the majority of my energy going into building a career.
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happpyexjw
Congratulations! You have demonstrated in very real terms that people can recover and have a real life after leaving the wts. I didn't start building a real life until I was 40 -- no education, (college was bad you know), no consistent experience (we moved constantly) and too many years of thinking poverty was some kind of virtue. It is tough, but oh soo sweet when success comes. Good for you!
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Baba, I find your comment about the anger stage very interesting. I don't recall being angry. I do feel sorry for most of the people I knew who are still in. I think most of the R&F I knew were sincere, albeit misguided. I know I was. Some of the things I was required to do, like shunning family members who were DF'd were incredibly hard. There is no way I could have done that if I had not been convinced it was the "right" thing to do. I am ashamed that I was so taken in, but I thought I was pleasing God at the time. I really believe the same is true of the majority of current followers.
Of course, I also encountered some bad apples as well, including a close family member who molested two of my kids and managed to convince the elders that he was sorry and reformed. Part of me says he is a sick man, but the human part will be happier when he is dead. Come to think of it Babba, that whole situation does make me angry!
thanks for sharing all.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts on this question. As time goes on I find it easier to let go of things like guilt and shame over things I did when I was trying to walk the walk, but I still have lingering scars from the experience. However, I have to say there is an upside for me. I think it has made me a kinder, gentler person and way less judgemental than I might have been otherwise. When people do things that they shouldn't I find myself trying to make allowances for where they may have been in life. Maybe this was part of me anyway...I guess I'll never really know for sure. I know one thing -- It takes a long time to heal from this religion.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Has anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once JWs? I have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since I left. I don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway. And I guess on some level I worry that the person would be thinking "What an idiot."
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Weird Funeral coming up!
by wobble ina friend of mine from my youth has just lost his mother,very quick,diagnosed with the big c and died 5 weeks later,sad.. she was lifelong dub,her son,my friend was df'd nearly 40 years ago,never went back,never will.he asked me if,as an old friend of his mums i would give a eulogy at the crematorium,so that it was more personal than just the dubs doing it,i said i would be honoured.his mum was good to us in our teens.. so it was agreed,bro s, would say a bit,then me,then bro s close.
when the dubs found out i was involved they kicked off"he is inactive" "it dosn't fit in with our theocratic thinking to have him involved".. so,my friend says to the elder who phoned him,"you've got three choices, 1)do it my way,or2)just hold a memorial service at the kh,or3)come to the funeral directors with your cheque book and i'll have nothing to do with it,you can do the lot!
so now they are going for option two,and telling the dubbies not to come to the crem,although my friend has said any are welcome,so i will be doing a non-religious ceremony at the crem.with only her son ,me and a couple of her non-dub cousins present,perhaps a stray dub.. here is the weird bit,the dubs will do a memorial service,with none of her family members present,and without me of course!.
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happpyexjw
This is a good example of the destructiveness of JW teachng. My father joined up when I was in my teens and left years later when I had children and was still very active. He got cancer and had enough time to make his own arrangements which included a big Catholice funeral preached by his jackass nephew who happened to be a priest. I went to all the arrangements except for the funeral in the church part, which caused major upheaval in the family. I thought I was doing the "right" thing. Of course, I would do it differently now. Families should never have to go through this kind of crap when they are already grieving. How unloving.