wholewheat:
It is sad to see someone who served Jehovah in the capacity of elder, turn on Jehovah and get disfellowshipped. What were you disfellowshipped for? Did you try an appeal?
You are committing a DF offense just by speaking with Kjell Hedblom...ahem.. Do your elders know that you come here and associate with apostates?
I'm not saying you shouldn't but the WT is saying you can't without being contaminated with apostasy. You have committed a DFing offense so technically you are a JW but not in YOUR heart because YOU are here.