Posts by androb31

posted

Song 31 "We're Jehovah's Witnesses" updated version.
by androb31 in
1. watchtower
2. beliefs
data dog's musical tribute thread had my creative juices flowing.

feel free to post any other updated versions of kingdom maladies out there lol?.

we are jehovah's witnesses remix.. men make gods of wood and stone.. but the fds they've not known.. they are gods son's head.. mediators they've often said.. other gods cannot compare.
androb31

Data Dog's musical tribute thread had my creative juices flowing. Feel free to post any other updated versions of Kingdom maladies out there LOL?

We are Jehovah's Witnesses remix.

Men make gods of wood and stone.

But the FDS they've not known.

They are gods son's head.

Mediators they've often said.

Other gods cannot compare

To the governing body's deceitful snare.

Jehovahs witnesses strive in vain.

The Governing Body's godship to maintain.

Chorus

We're Watchtower witnesses.

We speak out in fear of Dis-

Fellowshipping oh yes can't you see

Even when it's a false prophecy.....

Next verse

Proudly we declare God's name.

A thousand times a day, like a talisman, dang...

News about our new light

Gives us great delight

Others thus may come and see.

Our reject Jesus par-ty.

It' will be Nisan fourteen.

Nibble or sip and we'll get mean.

Chorus

We're Jehovah's Witnesses.

We knock on doors and no one listens to us.

Ours is the cult of false prophecy.

Reject our message and your house ours it will be.

Next verse

Witnessing and wasting time.

Keeps us busy and in line.

And it is annoying.

To the worldly swine.

Pardon me I know you're busy.

But a magazine I would like to give thee.

Change you're religion, why no never.

It's only your family ties we wish to sever.

Chorus

We need at least two witnesses.

Before our pedophiles we'll convict.

Ours is the borg of pure misery.

Why don't we leave, well you got me?
4
A JW'S LIFE!!! A Musical Tribute!!
by DATA-DOG in
1. watchtower
2. beliefs
with all the changes and adjustments and nu-light, i thought it fitting to pay homage to the wtbts and the wonderful "slave!

" just think of this song when you feel down, or when you sign your bank account over to the wtbts!!

their isn't a dub that doesn't love, working for brooklyn crooks!!
androb31

We are Jehovah's Witnesses redux.

Men make gods of wood and stone.

But the FDS they've not known.

They are gods son's head.

Mediators they've often said.

Other gods cannot compare

To the governing body's deceitful snare.

Jehovahs witnesses strive in vain.

The Governing Body's godship to maintain.

Chorus

We're Watchtower witnesses.

We speak out in fear of Dis-

Fellowshipping oh yes can't you see

Even when it's a false prophecy.....

Next verse

Proudly we declare God's name.

A thousand times a day, like a talisman, dang...

News about our new light

Gives us great delight

Others thus may come and see.

Our reject Jesus par-ty.

It' will be Nisan fourteen.

Nibble or sip and we'll get mean.

Chorus

We're Jehovah's Witnesses.

We knock on doors and no one listens to us.

Ours is the cult of false prophecy.

Reject our message and your house ours it will be.

Next verse

Witnessing and wasting time.

Keeps us busy and in line.

And it is annoying.

To the worldly swine.

Pardon me I know you're busy.

But a magazine I would like to give thee.

Change you're religion, why no never.

It's only your family ties we wish to sever.

Chorus

We need at least two witnesses.

Before our pedophiles we'll convict.

Ours is the borg of pure misery.

Why don't we leave, well you got me?
32
You know your an ex J-Dub when...
by Batman89 in
1. jw
2. friends
finish the sentence.
androb31

......you've watched the dubstep remix of the deaf masturbation video as well as the interpretation thereof and it didn't offend you but put you on the floor lyao for days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4MQm2oKnVM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytYykOop6HI
32
You know your an ex J-Dub when...
by Batman89 in
1. jw
2. friends
finish the sentence.
androb31

......you realize the word "happifying" is the the most stupified word you've ever heard.

......you no longer carry a man bag full of books and magazines.

......you're single and you buy your first 2 door non family (service) car.

......you eat a Thanksgiving turkey on Thanksgiving day instead of the day after.

......you can give/receive a Christmas gift on Christmas instead of later that week under the guise of "family day".

......you go on a date without a chaperone.
32
You know your an ex J-Dub when...
by Batman89 in
1. jw
2. friends
finish the sentence.
androb31

.....you know jw doctrine better than jw's.

.....you know the bible better than jw's.

.....you can walk into a church without fear of becoming "demonized"

.....you're no longer afraid of smurfs.

.....you finally realize that a "publisher" has nothing to do with knocking on doors.
32
You know your an ex J-Dub when...
by Batman89 in
1. jw
2. friends
finish the sentence.
androb31

....you no longer react to a cross as if you were a vampire.

....your aging jw parents shun you except when they need something of a financial nature.

....the first time you use the words "bulletin board" or "lucky" without fear of making jehooher sad.
33
Post the funniest WTBTS quote you can think of
by DuvanMuvan in
1. watchtower
2. bible
just felt like a laugh.. if any funny quotes come to mind feel free to post them here.
androb31

The "truth" as understood by the faithful & discreet slave.

it 'behooves' us brothurrrrrs............

"It is the best way of life"

"the pure language"

"the Friends"

"our rich spiritual heritage".

"we just had meat in due season..."

"Jehovah's Happy People"

"Jehovah's smile of approval"

"safe under Jehovah's umbrella"
33
Post the funniest WTBTS quote you can think of
by DuvanMuvan in
1. watchtower
2. bible
just felt like a laugh.. if any funny quotes come to mind feel free to post them here.
androb31

*** w83 6/15 31 An Excellent Education *** An Excellent Education

Would you like to grow in knowledge, obtaining an education of even much greater value than can be received in any college? You can do so by reading regularly this magazine and its companion, Awake! Not only will these journals help you to keep up with world events but they will also help you to see how these events fulfill the Bible prophecies regarding the time of the end of this entire system of things. Yes, regularly reading these publications not only will improve your knowledge of secular matters but will also provide you with knowledge that will put you in line to live forever in Gods righteous new system.John 17:3; 2 Peter 3:13.

"Many times people honestly mistake me for a college graduate, and when I confess that I have never darkened the doors of a college, they are surprised. But I say: No, I am only an avid reader of the Watchtower and Awake! journals." (Awake! November 8, 1994 page 32 "What a Plethora of Knowledge!")
14
How many elders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
by mynameislame in
1. social
2. humour
just one but he has to be constantly ready to replace it at a moments notice..
androb31

Eight. They all live in Brooklyn, and they have to keep changing it every day for “new light.”

Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you’ve seen the light!

None. They’re always getting “new light” from Brooklyn.

Nobody knows, they haven’t seen the light YET
53
Are You Moving Ahead With Jehovahs Organization? Study WT May 2014
by KateWild in
1. watchtower
2. bible
obedience is key in the paragraph below and the urgency is also emphasised with an exclaimation mark.. .

10 the earthly part of gods organization is moving ahead in many ways.

it helps us understand bible truth more and more clearly.
androb31

Outlaw

The earthly part of God’s organization is moving ahead in many ways.

It helps us understand Bible truth more and more clearly.

....................Loyal WBT$ JW Cattle & WBT$ New Light..

Moo Light.....

The earthly part of God's organization is moo-ving ahead with moo light. Haha....