bluecanary

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Posts by bluecanary

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  22

  What nearly one year of dating has taught me

  by Newborn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of you who doesn't care about my dating life can stop reading here...some of you knows a little bit since before and might want to have an update.

  i've learned that there are a lot of players out there and that i may be one of those girls who easily fall for these types, unfortunately - not anymore though!i've learned that when a guy says, talk to you later, don't reply to your sms/text within 1-2 days, never calls you, doesn't suggest going to the movies or watching a football game together, only calls you drunk saturday nights, etc etc isn't interested in you, at all (except for perhaps one thing, and one thing only).i've learned that guys can be very cowardly when it comes to be honest abt their feelings and intentions (not all though) - mr. doe is perfect as we all knowi've learned that i'd rather stay single than being with the wrong personi've got to know myself better and know what i don't want!

  !however, all in all, this year as a happy single and non jw has been a great experience for me.

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  bluecanary

  I'm happy for you! I, too, met my boyfriend online (he lives close by and we met in person right away). We've been together a year next month. I hope to start a family, too. But both of us are going back to school now, so it may be a few years before we can live together and get married, let alone start having kids. So I'll probably be somewhere in my early thirties when I begin.

  They say that love happens to you when you're not looking for it. I couldn't wrap my mind around that as a JW because you couldn't date casually and if a guy was actually interested in you then you had to pounce on it and hope for marriage. Once I had the opportunity to just DATE I just wanted to have fun for a little while. I contacted my BF because it seemed like he would be some short-term fun. To my surprise he turned out be awesome long-term material.
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  36

  Follow up to my saga

  by Heartbreaker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i realize i'm a bit quiet here, and most if not all won't remember my story, so here is a brief synopsis.

  i recently decided that i'd rather pursue life rather than a future life promised but not realized.

  i was fortunate enough that my husband agreed in that he didn't want any man telling him what he had to do, or how to live, and so left with me.

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  bluecanary

  High five! No, High Ten! You rock, girl! I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your family. You are an inspiration. It's hard now, because you're lost a lot, too, but it's a necessary surgery. In time, you won't think much about what you've lost, only what you've gained. If you're in a position to move, I say go for it. It's a great experience to be somewhere new, especially when you're ready to start a new chapter in your life. If you do, you might want to consider not giving your family your home address. Sounds like your mom might be the type to sic the local elders on you wherever you go. My family and I moved to another state when we left the b0rg. No one knows us here. We haven't had to deal with an ounce of drama. Then again, I don't have any remaining family still in. Good luck!
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  19

  Help! Leaving the WT and realizing I'm a social misfit!

  by 2pink in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, i'm 30-something and have been a lifelong jw, born and raised.

  (yeah, i know double points against me on the social scale!).

  i'm on my way out (and moving at a fast pace with that, lol) and um, am now realizing that outside of the kingdom hall, i am a bit of a social retard!

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  bluecanary

  Try meetup.com. There should be groups for all kinds of hobbies. You can also use your kids. Get them involved in activities with other kids--where you can socialize with other moms.
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  45

  Hello

  by LoriJis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm new but it's nice to be among people who feel the same i do.

  i am a beginning fader.

  i was raised in the "truth" and am/was very popular elder's daughter and social life of the congregations.

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  bluecanary

  Welcome to the forum Lori
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  20

  Law of Attraction

  by INTK in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wondering if it is okay to practice the law of attraction as per the book "the secret".

  if you are committed to jehovah, would the law of attraction simply be something to improve your life but at the same time staying grounded with god.. is this to be avoided by brothers and sisters or is it okay if you do practice it knowing that jehovah did create the laws of the universe.

  i can't find anything in any past watchtower or awake articles.

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  bluecanary

  Welcome to the board INTK

  Why do you feel like you have to check with other people as to whether something is ok to do? God gave you a wonderful brain that has the ability to reason and make decisions. I haven't read the secret, but if you feel like what is written in it would be beneficial to put into practice, then what would prevent you from doing so? I do think that many self-help books provide some good food for thought. You might also consider looking for one that will help you become more confident in your own thinking and reasoning abilities. Why do you need admitedly imperfect men to decide what's ok for you to do? Here's another good question: what kind of God would want you to avoid doing something that would improve your life?
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  18

  Questions for Americans...

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this isn't meant to be insulting, this is stuff i honestly want to know from you guys....

  do you call it "fall" rather than "authum" ( spelt that wrong).

  "dipers" instead of "nappies"?.

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  bluecanary

  I haven't read the other responses, so apologies if I'm repeating things:

  WHY?...

  Do you call it "Fall" rather than "authum" ( spelt that wrong) It makes remembering which way to turn the clock for daylight savings time easier. "Fall back, spring ahead."

  "Dipers" instead of "nappies"?

  "earaser" instead of "rubber"

  "sidewalk" instead of "pavement" Because that's what everyone else calls it. I don't know who started it, but the rest of us just repeat what we're told. BTW, "rubber" is a euphemism for condom.

  Why do so many of you demonise alcohol? You are obviously unfamilar with Wisconsin. I'm pretty sure drinking is a state sport. Versus the deep south, where it's a religion.

  Why do you refer to Europe as if it was one big country? Because big countries are what we're familiar with. We can't wrap our minds around a bunch of small countries that you can cross as easily as crossing states. It's like a magic fairy land.

  why do so many of you have to start a sentence with "OMG!" Because our lame public education system can't keep up with technology as a learning experience.

  why do you love british accents? Because they're almost as sexy as Austrailian accents.

  why oh why... did you vote george bush in...twice!??? That's one thing you can't blame on many of us ex-Dubs. We didn't vote!
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  29

  Is Hating Always Bad?

  by Farkel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before you answer that question, ponder it for a bit.. farkel.

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  bluecanary

  Hate is an emotion. Emotions are neither good nor bad. It's how we act on emotions that can be either good or bad. More in line with your question, sometimes it is can be appropriate or unharmful to act on the emotion of hate. If I hate anchovies, it is unharmful to avoid eating them. If I hate the way someone treats me, it may be appropriate to avoid their company. There's no hard and fast rule on when to act on hate. It must vary by individual and situation.

  EDIT: I believe that terms like "good" and "bad" are better expressed as "beneficial" or "harmful."
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  21

  Don't want to celebrate holidays even with my daughter...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel like its so much work, stressful, commercialized and since i never formed the habit of it i hate the idea of celebrating them.

  i wouldn't mind buying presents for my daughter on christmas and maybe doing a treasure hunt for halloween (i don't want her taking candy from even my neighbors) and things like that so she doesn't feel left out or like she's missing something.

  just something easy and informal...

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  bluecanary

  meaningful tradtions are another matter...
  bring your kids up with some kind of tradition

  chickpea hit the nail on the head. I did not feel deprived that we didn't celebrate holidays as a kid. I did feel deprived that we didn't do anything else! A handful of times I got a present or got to do an organized activity like a peanut hunt. I wanted so badly to do more of that. I would still love to do another peanut hunt. We would tell people that we could give presents at any time of year, but we never did. My family knows how much I love wrapped boxes. They could give me a bunch of empty wrapped boxes and I would be thrilled. Now when I get presents, I don't want to open them; I just want to look at them.
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  13

  Do JW's enjoy being mean to other JW's?

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i always got the impression that they got a kick out of exluding and looking down their nose at "lesser" jw's.

  anyone got any theories?.

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  bluecanary

  This is a very provocatively worded question. I was mean to other jws when I was among their number. If you asked me if I enjoyed being mean I would have sincerely denied it. I would have denied that I was being mean at all. I was doing what I was instructed to do: only associate with those who best followed the direction of the WTS. I thought I was doing what would most please God. I enjoyed feeling like I had the moral high ground.
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  5

  Torture

  by bobld in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  torture:repugnant,abhorrent,immoral...acts of cruel,inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment wheather physical ot mental(destroys the heart and soul).mental torture,however can leave scars just as deep and long-lasting as missing fingernails of physical torture.psychological torture is used to cause suffering to alter the behavior of the person(includes such things as shunning).when such acts are committed by or at the instigation of or consent or acquiescence of an official or person acting as official capacity of(.........)they do not treat people with humanity.this is,the fact or quality of being humane:kindness,mercy,sympathy,etc.. there can be much more said and how it affects thousands of people (substitute a word for torture) and you know what i mean.. bob.

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  bluecanary

  Another form of torture is trying to read a post with no spaces between punctuation.