~Jen~

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Posts by ~Jen~

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  9

  Dating as an ex witness

  by d in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel nervous their is this girl i am somewhat dating and this is my first true relationship.

  do any of you ex jw's feel nerovus when dating..

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  ~Jen~

  Yes.

  I'm 3 years out and dated lots before being in my current relationship of just over a year.

  Rocky is putting it lightly. I was a very naive 27 year old when I left, going through lots of ups downs, depression from being DF'd and going through a divorce and learning what the "real world is like".

  Even in my current relationship with someone who tries very hard to understand - I have trust and fear of abandonment issues, at times I have a hard time understanding that people are not perfect (because I was always striving to be perfect in that religion and my EX and I ignored problems to appear "perfect"). These come out not with me being clingy but with me getting overwhelmed and trying to run away. I have broke up with him twice over my fears. Because subconcioulsy he is still a "worldly person" who is going to do nothing but hurt me and only wants me for sex, blah blah blah. We argue and fight and I have had a hard time dealing with that because again, my ex and I pretended we were perfect and didn't fight for the whole 9 years we were together.

  It's differant, it's terrifying but for the first time in my life it feels real instead of feeling like I'm just faking life.
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  55

  How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i felt with newer members coming on and other jw fence sitters lurking it might be a good thing to explain what many of us have had to go through in regards to being shunned, cut off, ostracized from our jw families in an unjust way .

  whether we are dfed or inactive - many of us have shared this same fate and ill treatment.

  for many of us- it makes us stronger, more firmly entrenched that the decision we made to exit the jehovah's witness organization was the correct decision as no organization that claims to be " christian " would ever commit such horrid atrocities or justify it !

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  ~Jen~

  My family is uber strict. I have seen them twice since I was DF'd almost 3 years ago. Once I ran into them in public and another time at a funeral where I was completely shunned by them (in front of all my non-jw family who I have never had anything to do with my whole life - they showed love of course). They all refused to talk to me but enjoyed staring - my mom, my dad, brothers,etc :) What loving people!
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  27

  Failed Marriages..."Born ins"

  by xelder in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it is impossible to unweave the complex cobweb of a failed marriage and totally understand it, let alone to generalize the occurance for many other couples.

  but, let's assume the case of a marriage of two typical jw born-ins.

  as far as jw's go, they grew up without major disfunction, still talk to their parents, etc.. in cases like this, how many of these couples are still together?

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  ~Jen~

  Mine sounds like the kind you are describing to a T. I saw the differances we had but was looking for a good spiritual mate and he fit that. I specifically remember thinking that he was a "good boy" and would keep me on the right path in the borg because I knew there was more that I wanted and tried so hard to ignore that.

  The majority of our issues were ignored or "let go" between the 2 of us to keep the peace, not once did we ever have a real disagreement or argument and he especially didn't know how to stand up for himself or have any sort of opinion that wasn't from the borg. When kids came along life got stressful and hard to handle and I started to find out the the religion was a hoax I crumbled and there was no strength to our marriage to keep it together.

  Even if we wanted to try - the borg creates such a division that would make it impossible for me to have even the least bit of a decent life if we tried to make it work for the sake of the kids - with him "in" and me DF'd it just wouldn't and couldn't ever work.
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  34

  We Believe...A Short primer on Witness Doctrine

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we believe that 99.9% of earths population will be soon put to death because of their unrighteousness and hatred of god.

  this probably means that you wont make it.

  sorry bout that.. god is using us to warn the entire world of mankind.

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  ~Jen~

  Love this :)
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  4

  Life insurance and smoking/nicotine questions

  by sinis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well wouldn't you know it... policy is coming up for renewal and i used to be an occassional tobacco user.

  i ended up quitting completely, never really smoked that much... i do prefer chewing the gum, though, as nicotine does offer some health benefits, as per recent studies.

  anyways, i have stopped chewing the gum for a couple days now, as i have an appointment with the insurance guy at the end of next week.

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  ~Jen~

  Yes, nicotine gum still counts. Generally companies say no nicotine for 1 year before they will consider you a non smoker
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  27

  Don't post too often but need some support

  by ~Jen~ in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my 2nd christmas after leaving the jw's.

  last year there was drama surrounding the time and i never really focused on it.

  this year is differant and i'm having a hard time with it.

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  ~Jen~

  Thank you so much, as always you guys are so helpful with your words of wisdom. I really appreciate it and you are right, I need to get out. This winter I've been completely isolating myself. I think joining a support group will be beneficial especially to make it feel like I'm not alone.

  I've been trying to get out there and make friends but it's hard - have been trying a bit of online dating too but I feel like with my "history" - being in the JW's for 27 years, being married to someone who I had nothing in common with and was kept sheltered that it's hard to find things in common with them. Everyone has their great stories and here I am, for 9 years with my EX didn't do anything I loved and have no stories because the most exciting thing we ever did in that time was dinner and a movie.

  I'm making a new life and new experiences for myself and my kids now but am so sad that so much time was wasted in the cult and I wasn't happy for so long. And now I'm just lonely.

  I am looking forward to the time with the boys though and have some great presents for them :)
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  27

  Don't post too often but need some support

  by ~Jen~ in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my 2nd christmas after leaving the jw's.

  last year there was drama surrounding the time and i never really focused on it.

  this year is differant and i'm having a hard time with it.

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  ~Jen~

  This is my 2nd Christmas after leaving the JW's. Last year there was drama surrounding the time and I never really focused on it

  This year is differant and I'm having a hard time with it. Not with Christmas itself, but with being alone. It's a hard time of year when you're only 1 person. I am DF'd and have no family and a select few friends who are spending the holidays with their families. I have kids but will not be getting them until Sunday.

  I am just feeling so sad and so alone this time of year, this whole winter has been very depressing actually.

  This religion and DF'ing is such a cruel cruel thing :(
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  27

  WT comment 'people who leave the org who seem happy are fooled by satan?!?'

  by darth frosty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was a comment made at the past wt study (6/27).

  from what i know the wt from sunday had something to do with christ (just read title of blondies comments.

  so what was the purpose of such a comment?

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  ~Jen~

  If someones life in the "world" is miserable it's because they left Jehovah and don't have his backing. If his life is good, it's because Satan is blinding and fooling them. They have an answer for everything.
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  90

  Brazilian Wax ... is it JW approved?

  by sacolton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what is the current "light" on this hairy subject?

  is it okay for a jw to have a brazilian wax?.

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  ~Jen~

  My JW ex did not like this and very much disapproved the few times I got it done in the 7 years we were married.

  It was one of the first things I did after leaving.
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  35

  Tattoos/Piercings?

  by Think About It in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel like woody allen in the 1973 movie "the sleeper".

  i leave in 1995, wake up 15 yrs later to see what has been going on in the jw religion and find out it is completely different from what i left.

  i started a thread about beards, because i wanted to know how the modern day beard and goatee fad went over in the kh's.. now i'm curious about the tattoo, piercings and short or shaved hair look.

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  ~Jen~

  I just got this done last Thursday (also posted in another thread):

  

  I also have another tattoo on my hip and a hidden piercing somewhere special...