teel

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Posts by teel

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  66

  Stupidest JW meeting answers

  by GapingMouth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about some stupid non-sensical answers i have heard over the years.

  "we all know the blue whale is the biggest fish"

  "we were on the ministry and met a coloured couple.

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  teel

  I heard this in a public talk: "Saul [Paul] was persecuting the christians, bringing them in front of the Sanhedrin. But once he saw Jesus, he took a 360 degree turn..." ... and continued chasing the christians probably Just like most of the funny moments, almost noone noticed.
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  9

  JW Census

  by GapingMouth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the wts claims membership of somewhere in the region of 6 million if i am not mistaken.

  is this true, or have they embellished the facts?

  including those hiding or fading, technically how many jws are there really?

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  teel

  p.s I would love to see a census of JW's with the question, "Would you leave if there were no actions, no shunning, not even gossip, against you ?"

  How many would walk ?

  Good question, however that would be such a different organization, that I might even consider going back
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  35

  Is the "torture stake" dogma a reverse idolatry in itself?

  by JWoods in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  witnesses have famously (and gleefully) tossed the usual christain "t" cross symbol overboard after having used it themselves for quite some time.

  one common arguement is that "if christ had been shot by a rifle, you would not worship the image of the gun" -.

  and yet, they do not shy away from insisting on the notion of the upright torture stake.

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  teel

  designs, for whatever reason it's always crucifixion that comes to my mind first too. I only said it a couple of times to my wife only, not at the meetings though

  About "worshipping" the cross the Watchtower brought this example: if your friend was killed by a gunshot, would you carry that bullet in your pocket? This is oversimplification. The full story would be something like this: You are assaulted by a murderer. Just the moment the attacker pulls the trigger, your friend selflessly jumps in front of you, willing to die instead of you. Your friend is transported to the hospital, the bullet is taken out of him, and he recovers in time. So, would you keep that bullet, and carry it with you? I say yes, with all my heart, it would be a constant reminder of what loyal friend I have.
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  9

  JW Census

  by GapingMouth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the wts claims membership of somewhere in the region of 6 million if i am not mistaken.

  is this true, or have they embellished the facts?

  including those hiding or fading, technically how many jws are there really?

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  teel

  They count you're a Jehovah's Witness if you have done field service hours in the last service year, and include that number in the column "Peak witnesses". Here is the most recent report: http://www.watchtower.org/e/statistics/worldwide_report.htm peak witnesses in 2007 was over 7 million - I believe it to be true. If you're hiding, fading then you probably don't turn in hours, so you're not in the statistics. On average the dropout seems to be around 1% per year - you can calculate this from the yearly reports.

  For example in 2005 the peak witnesses was 6.613.950, and there were 247.746 newly baptized. The mortality is calculated at 1%, so about 66.139 witnesses died. So in 2006 there should be 6.795.557 witnesses. In 2006 the peak witnesses was reported to be 6.741.444, so the dropout was 54.113, a bit shy of 1% - this number is only those who absolutely disconnected themselves from the organization, but there are many who do go out in field service now and then, and some report teaching their children although they never go to actual FS at all (I know one of this kind), and then some report bogus hours, so technically the number of actual dropouts should be higher.

  Taken this into account, I'd say there are roughly 1 million or so living persons who were baptized above the 7 million active witnesses.
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  12

  Found myself only "associating" with my dogs as best friends! Is this wierd?

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  although i attend meetings to please my wife on occasion i have no link with these people on any level....i was looking at my dogs yesterday thinking what good buddies they are, they don't expect much, food a pat, a walk, throw the ball and play...and give lots of love.

  mans best friend indeed!

  other than my wife and dogs i'll be damned if i need anyone.. .

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  teel

  About cats and dogs I found this to be true of their way of thinking:

  The dog thinks: "This man here provides me with food, grooms me, takes care of my needs. He must be God." The cat thinks: "This man here provides me with food, grooms me, takes care of my needs. I must be God."

  And btw I have chinchillas. As long as they don't chew the cables, we're best buddies imagine, they don't shun me either for not going to KH.
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  9

  unusual assemblies: part 1

  by Albert Einstein in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you think your assembly was not comfortable enough?

  travel to russia next time!.

  since authorities give hard time to russian jws, some assemblies were not held at stadiums this year.. albert.

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  teel

  As I see the loudspeakers are covered, so a rain most probably won't ruin anything. Our DCs were always held in an open stadium, sometimes during thunderstorm, with no equipment malfunction. The storm was not a problem for me, I was much more bothered by the 105°F (40°C) in shade, and we were sitting under blazing sun! I wonder how I actually survived it. This russian assembly looks like a picknick compared to that to me.
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  5

  Congregation "Bible Study" Comments - Week Commencing 05 October 2009

  by LUKEWARM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  *** lv chap.

  11 pp.

  121-132 "let marriage be honorable" ***.

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  teel

  Exactly Carla, it's not God at the top of the cone, it's the Watchtower Society. If I work to actually draw closer to God by departing from WT's man-made rules, and accepting the Bible to teach me instead of their literature, I will depart from my wife (or rather she from me, but in a twisted way JWs will of course say it's my fault). What does that tell us about that mountain?
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  12

  Uncyclopedia about Jehovah's Witnesses

  by teel in

  1. social
  2. humour

  http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/jehovah%27s_witnesses.

  i found this so funny, especially if you are/were/know a lot about jws.

  what is funny is that it's mostly the truth, presented in a humorous form.

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  teel

  http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses

  I found this so funny, especially if you are/were/know a lot about JWs. What is funny is that it's mostly the truth, presented in a humorous form. Some random excerpts:

  Jehovah Witnesses are also the only major Christian sects who are able to accurately predict the end of the world multiple times, all thanks to the obvious signs presented in the bible. According to their calculations, the end of the world occurred in 1844, 1914, 1975, 2000, and "sometime soon." All of these predictions have came true, because all previous predictions in the bible have indeed came true.

  Unclean Things:

• Christmas. Reason: while Jesus asked for his funeral to be remembered for all eternity, Jesus didn't ask for his birthday to be celebrated. Mainstream Christians criticize this view by stating that Jesus was actually alluding to his wish for a surprise birthday party, which is what Christmas actually is. Jehovah Witnesses argue that the date of Christmas is derived from the celebration of Sol Invictus, a Roman pagan god. Mainstream Christians explain that such date is chosen because that's the time when Christ least expect his surprise birthday party would be thrown.

How to Become a Jehovah Witness

• Endure frequent reading of an extremely boring, one-sided, and confusing text about vague subjects. In fact, while reading, you will be asked to tediously flip through thousands of pages from another book. If you are studying from the bible, then you are reading the wrong book.

History:

[...] Fred Franz, who in 1983 claimed that the world had ended in 1975. The world did end, but nobody really noticed as it was the 1970s. Everybody was too high to care.