Posts by babygirl30

10

Family Worship Night

by cantleave in

jw
friends

the circuit overseer's elders meeting i attended just under a year ago, talked a great deal about the family worship evening.

one of the things that came out was that each family head should get a visit from an elder, in order to encourage this essential spiritual activity.. as i have since faded i was wondering if the elders really did do this?

my experience is that shepherding calls are never really done unless someone has done something worthy of a jc.. so here's my question for all you guys and gals that still suffer meetings, have you had a visit from your group overseer, specifically encouraging you to make the most of family worship?.

babygirl30

Family Worship Night......what can I say? The 'description' of it CHANGED from when the org announcement was made to what they SAY it is about now. I was still 'in' when this arrangement was changed, and when they first laid this out to the cong, it was with the whole explaination of how gas was skyrocketing (it was over $3/gal here on the east coast), things were more expensive, it was becoming a stress on the cong - so they were combining the mtgs and leaving a FWN for families to use to be 'together'.

NOW when they describe FWN, they vehemently DENY that its for economic reason - but that it's solely for families to have a Bible study together.

FUNNY...how things change!

24

im so worried about my daughter ,need some advice please !

by looloo in

my daughter was abused by an ex min servant age 13 , she is now 22 and has been with her loving caring boyfriend for a year (he is her 1st boyfriend ) over the years she has been bulimic ,self harmed and suffered low self esteem , i thought she had got better since the relationship with her boyfriend started , i found out yesterday that she is no better at all and im frightened for her , her boyfriend said "that bastard haunts her" she suffers flashbacks and post traumatis stress disorder , due to the horrific things the abuser did and said to her , which i cant bare to go into detail about as i try to block it out my mind , unfortunatly my poor girl cannot !

she has had a lot of help by a psyciatrist , counsellor etc but is no better so what can i do to help ?

have any of you been in this situation ?

babygirl30

Hi! I read your post and really FELT your pain...and it gave me 'flashbacks' to what had happened to me.

I was engaged to marry an abusive JW who was an acoholic. His family knew about his behavior and made 'light' of it, and to this day my ex has YET to take responsibility for what he did to me. With all the legal documents proving him guilty - he still has never admitted guilt and continues to claim nothing happened, claims I am crazy and just want him back, and told the judge IN court during the trial that I made everything up! So trust me, that pain was unexplainable because after 2yrs of this man demeaning and attacking me...for him to deny it all and to go on living his life in 'peace' made me angry. I found a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and a support group quickly! Thing is, I was determined to GET WELL and that was the best attitude to have...but it was NOT EASY!!!! It took hard work, and a lot of soul searching. I had to vividly recall memories of what happened to me on a regular basis, I had to follow the direction of the psychologist, I had to learn how to not be angry anymore, I had to accept that what happened was not my fault and then I had to stop concentrating on 'him' and what he did and start concentrating on ME and getting myself better.

To your daughter, I offer hugs and LOTS of understanding. But the main part of recovering from abuse is cognitive therapy, group support, and will power. Now I know...'will power' sounds like it's small but THAT is what will get her to where she wants to be. Remember that in lieu of the abuse, she has to deal with the fact that the abuser was someone she was supposed to be able to trust - a JW - and so the religious aspect plays a roll in it all too. If she wants to feel better and wants to be able to deal with her situation, then she will search for the help that is the best fit for HER. I wish you both the best. PM me if you want to chat!!

10

Dancing with some JW friends tonight

by jwfacts in

i was walking past a bar tonight and recongised some old jw friends inside dancing to a live band.

i went in an attached myself to them and spent the night with them.

it was quite funny as they were very comfortable with me but also exuded unsure guilt about the whole situation.. it seems to stress jws when we seem exactly the same as before.

babygirl30

I actually LIKE running into JWs now...granted they don't speak, but I enjoy their faces when they see me! I'm not knocked up with some dudes illegitimate baby...I'm not smoking cigs...am not fat and sloppy with some bum of a man at my side! -hahahha. If anything, my look has improved (because I FEEL a lot less stress) and my man is a cutie. So I hold my head up HIGH and actually am now comfortable smiling at them

20

The point in time when I realised that I would one day no longer be a Jehovahs Witness

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

this was after my 'honeymoon' period of being a new jw.

yet, it was still a couple of years before i actually left.. i remember sitting in the kh listening to the meeting & my mind wandered.

i started looking around the congregation.

babygirl30

I was on 'autopilot' when I was a JW...born in, did as I was told, followed what was expected of me (superficially of course), and kept up appearances. It wasn't until I was DF'd and was able to sit unbothered that things became so much clearer! It's like I suddenly began to LISTEN to the mtgs and was able to reason that what was being said was NOT the full story...I also began to OBSERVE people a lot closer in the cong and I picked up on a lot: the family that had transplanted to the Khall had 3 pioneer daughters that were FAST asses (saw them in the club)...the MS that is abusive to his wife but plays 'nice' at the Khall...the elder that has such a BAD reputation that he gets moved from cong to cong cause of reports of his irresponsible behavior...the reg pioneer that has serious mental issues...the elders wife who REFUSES to sit with her husband at the mtg - that is IF she even comes! Add to all of that, the fact that I was cruelly treated and dealt with by elders who were supposed to act lovingly and be reassuring of Jehovah's love - and I had enough. 9 mos of observing all that crap and carrying all these feelings of disgust, and I had enough.

One thing after another that just woke me UP.

22

Why do even inactive Jw's play the shunning game?

by AK - Jeff in

i have contacted a half dozen people thru facebook.

all of these people i have known for 2 decades, most more than that.

in every case, i have not been overly apostate in my statements - just a simple hi, hello, and how ya' doin' type message to them in private.. nearly all of them fall into one of two categories: never been a jw, just studied, maybe attended meetings for a while, likely not doing so nowadays.

babygirl30

I personally feel they DO that because it's easier to SHUN shomeone that is actually 'marked' or officially DF'd/DA'd - then for the inactive person (who is shunning) to LOOK in a mirror and admit that they themselves are just as f*cked up as the next person!

I actually work with 2 fleshly sisters who are and have been inactive for YEARS!!! These woman are both baptized, and both were well liked in the org, but chose to fall away and live their lives - which is fine. Both have dated, shacked up with, and formally MARRIED non-JWs...all public knowledge of their JW families AND also an elder and his pioneer wife who are VERY close to this entire family. Nobody shuns these women when they are are out and about showing off their husbands and haven't set foot in a Khall for years....the elder/pioneer wife have dinner parties and OPENLY celebrate anniversaries/dinners/and births WITH these baptized inactive sisters, and yet I am DF'd and spoke in passing to BOTH of these 'sisters' at work and both of them acted 'put off' by our conversation!!!! I didn't talk about Biblical things, I didn't talk about what I went through, and I didn't even go into Khall 'talk'...it was simple Hi How are you doing? type of thing. Now when I see them, they shuttle past me barely lifting their heads to say a WORD - and I find it ironic purely because these women are no better then I am. Only difference is that I was woman enough to stand up and take what was dealt to me....

76

WOW!!! Just found out from someone who went to the one day assembly....

by Lady Liberty in

hello friends... just found out that at the recent one day assembly they are now really discouraging people from getting married!!!!!

they will lose young ones like crazy if they start telling them that they cannot get married...what are these sexually frusterated young people to do??

you cannot masterbate, you cannot have sex outside of marriage (not that i would encourage it either, but...), now you cannot even get married?????

babygirl30

MsDucky

I actually went to DRepublic 5 times to 'help' out there in foreign language, visit friends, and vacation! Let me tell you, the 'interest' there is NOT how the stories really are AND the JWs that are over there party their ASSES OFF!!!! Seriously, I had a good time there...it was very different then what would be allowed here in the states.

25

Birthday silliness

by poopsiecakes in

how ridiculous the fear of birthdays is when read in a court transcript..... .

calhoun jewelers llc v. unemployment compensation board of review.

calhoun jewelers llc, petitioner,.

babygirl30

Oh my GOD...that is funny!!! That trifflin JW tried to claim UC after quitting their job over birthday cards??? For REAL?

50

Profoundly Shock, Sadening and Traumatic Account of Mary Aguilar

by Scott77 in

after reading this internet link below about the profoundly shocking, sadening and traumatic account of mary aguilar, an ex-jw woman's systematic treatment and abuse, what do you think regarding the action her jw abusive husband, the congregational elders, and finally, the wts attitude when she finally reported the accident to them?

is there any related experienes that you might have come across?.

http://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/blogs/view/306.

babygirl30

One more thing: in the org, a woman (who is being abused) has to suffer TWICE as much because (1) her loyalty to her husband comes into question, and (2) her loyalty to the org can also be questioned. THAT adds up to a 'cycle' of abuse that CAN seem never-ending to someone that has been demeaned.

50

Profoundly Shock, Sadening and Traumatic Account of Mary Aguilar

by Scott77 in

after reading this internet link below about the profoundly shocking, sadening and traumatic account of mary aguilar, an ex-jw woman's systematic treatment and abuse, what do you think regarding the action her jw abusive husband, the congregational elders, and finally, the wts attitude when she finally reported the accident to them?

is there any related experienes that you might have come across?.

http://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/blogs/view/306.

babygirl30

If a stranger pounces at you on the street and takes your purse, that's one thing. If you keep going back again and again and again to a man WHOSE BEHAVIOR YOU KNOW AND CAN PREDICT, well that's your choice. "Poor me" doesn't work for me.

I agree with you ... to a DEGREE - and I have lived through abuse. What you fail to understand is that the 'poor me' attitude SOME women who suffer at the hands of abuse have - is because they don't KNOW any better. Like those of us 'born' into the org. Things didn't FEEL right, we may have even admitted they weren't right, but we were TOLD we didn't know any better...we couldn't fend for ourselves...we wouldn't make it out there in the world. So when that is drilled in your head - that without the org, you will die and/or the world will chew you up - WHAT do you think you're going to believe? WHY do you think some stay IN the org for so long?

Studies show that the average woman returns to her abuser 7 times! Picture that...this man tears you up, kicks your ass, makes you THINK you are worthless - and you stay (or go back). Why? Because THAT is how long it takes for her to either get the 'cojones' to leave him, or, she finally gets an escape plan together. NOT easy - NOT safe.

But even though I have gone through an abusive relationship, I do NOT consider myself a victim - I am a survivor. A victim means that I am NOT in control - and although he didn't like it, I AM in control of my life and my choices NOW...back when I was in that relationship, I was out of control (so to speak). I do not LOOK for anyone to pity me and what I went through. Instead of it bringing me down, it's strengthened me and empowered me to stand up for myself now.

82

Most Annoying Things That Happen At JW Meetings

by LittleSister in

jw
friends

today i was remembering how angry i used to get at the meetings and all the little irritations that in the end would just make my blood boil these included:.

prayers that go on foreverstudy or wt conductors still taking comments when its clear that the point has been covered 20 times alreadymeetings over running by more than 5 minsmy favourite was this one elder who would play guess the point i am thinking of.

he would keep rephrasing the question from the wt until someone would bring up the point he was thinking of.

babygirl30

Having to go!