I DO remember a WT or Awake article on this...and how they made it CLEAR that if you decided to elope, that you were to TELL the elders BEFORE running off and getting married so that it didn't seem suspicious. They also counseled against implying 'wrong motives' to those that decide to get married by the JOP (in the US of course). Just seemed like they were making it seem like you had to report on your marriage to the brothers or else you could get in trouble or suffer some type of scrutiny.
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
-
-
-
-
-
-
babygirl30
Oh my GOD!!! I was just talking about this to my boyfriend....told him that it seems like a lot of the JW girls that I know of, when they LEAVE the org, the first thing they do is get a 'tramp stamp'!!!! (the guys get tribal bands on their arms)
Of course I never did....don't LIKE needles.
-
19
chaperones
by rockmehardplace insaw a topic on dating earlier.
made me think of chaperones.
i always hated having someone with us when we went to do anything.
-
-
babygirl30
My parents were anal about 'dating' and they believed that even MEETING at a public place was inappropriate and showed a lack of respect for the WBTS's direction!! I would make plans with a guy to meet him at a restaurant and that was considered 'bad' in their eyes. They were so nutty that they even went to the elders ON ME - claiming I was being too independent and was ignoring Bible principles. UGH!!! I got a 'speech' about respecting my parents (mind you I did not live at home), how it's a 'protection' to have a chaperone, and that making a habit of meeting in public is NOT good either because it looks a certain way (whatever).
Even when I did live at home and would be on the phone with a boyfriend at night, my parents would QUESTION what we were talking about...becuase they assumed that talking late night = phone sex! Apparently after the 9pm it's officially 'booty hour' and all calls get dirty.
These are the same 2 people that 'entertained' my knocked up baptized sister and her 'non JW' baby-daddy for a weekend! -hahahahaha
-
35
What is the WORST witness social function you went to and WHY?
by creativhoney inmy sister called me tonight, and reminded me of this, i had forgotten.
- there was an engagement party and the whole cong was invited.
- the fourth of six kids, and it was in a function room with no bar.. everyone was allowed one glass of wine and no one was allowed to bring any.
-
-
babygirl30
Oh...just thought of a nother one!
I was in my girlfriends wedding, and she had sent out all the invitations and was already getting response cards back. well, her fiance was this grown arse loser that blew through money like water...so when it came to paying for the reception, he had to break it to her that he didn't HAVE the money!!! They literally had to UNINVITE over 100 people. In the end, only 70 people were actually invited to the reception (which ended up being at a restaurant in their lil banquet room, which her sisters paid for as a gift).
So wedding starts, I come walking out down the aisle, and there were only about 25 people there. NEVER in my life have I seen THAT little people at a wedding in the Khall. I'm talking about hardly ANYONE from our cong even came...they must've all been THAT upset over being univited to the reception that they boycotted the entire thing. I felt SOOO bad my friend. Needless to say, she does not visit that cong at all since!
-
35
What is the WORST witness social function you went to and WHY?
by creativhoney inmy sister called me tonight, and reminded me of this, i had forgotten.
- there was an engagement party and the whole cong was invited.
- the fourth of six kids, and it was in a function room with no bar.. everyone was allowed one glass of wine and no one was allowed to bring any.
-
-
babygirl30
My own engagement party!!!!!!!!
It was a straight up MESS...my exfiance and his family had a 'LIKIN FOR THE LIQUOR' and so at OUR party, my then to be husband spent more time chillin with ihs boys at the bar getting DRUNK then he did with me greeting our guests. Looking at the pics with me, dude is darn near mean mugging. But in pics with his boys....he was all smiles, drinks in hand, etc. It was EMBARASSING!!!
Not to mention that in HIS families "speeches" to wish us love and happiness (blah....), they pretty much described how much of a BUM he is and that they never thought he would get married let alone find someone like ME! - hahahahaha. It was an obvious slap in the face.
YES - they were all JWs.
-
4
Abuse and JWs
by babygirl30 inwhat bothers me most about df'ing is not only the shunning, but the constant verbal reminders (by elders and the jw pubs) that jehovah has 'taken his holy spirit' away from you.
its sad cause the whole scenario of being a jw is like living with an abuser:.
abuse: abuser comes on strong - is sweet and falls in love quickly vs jws: love bombed and drawn into the org by association.
-
-
babygirl30
What bothers me most about DF'ing is not only the shunning, but the constant verbal reminders (by elders and the JW pubs) that Jehovah has 'taken his holy spirit' away from you. Its sad cause the whole scenario of being a JW is like living with an abuser:
ABUSE: Abuser comes on strong - is sweet and falls in love quickly vs JWs: Love bombed and drawn into the org by association
ABUSE: sets the stage for isolation from family and friends vsJWs: sets the stage for isolation from 'non JW' family and friends
ABUSE: Once you marry/move in with abuser, you are HIS property vsJWs: once baptized, you are the WBTS's property
ABUSE: convinces you that HE is the authority on all vsJWs: convinces you that WBTS is authority on all
ABUSE: threatens that if you leave him, NOBODY will want you vsJWs: if you leave JWs, you are threatened with NO association
ABUSE: You are constantly trying to do more to make HIM happy vs JWs: you are constantly trying to do more to make WBTS/CO/elders happy
ABUSE: Uses power and control to manipulate you to see things HIS way vs JWs: use power and control to manipulate you to see things THEIR way
ABUSE: make you believe HE will leave you if you don't do as he wants vs JWS: make you believe THEY will let you go (DF) if you don't do as WBTS wants
ABUSE: Trying to leave him is not as easy as walking away vs JWs: leaving the org is NOT as easy as just not coming or walking away
ABUSE: takes everything away or witholds from you when you leave HIM as a ploy to get you to come back vs JWs: takes everything away from you when you are DF'd in order for you to come back
ABUSE: expects YOU to make amends (beg and plead) with HIM in order to go back vs JWs: expect YOU to make amends with them (reinstatement letter) to 'beg' for forgiveness to be accepted back
ABUSE: the threat of losing everything will keep you locked in the bad relationship out of fear vs JWs: the threat of losing your whole association and standing will keep you in the org out of fear
ABUSE:you are NOT permitted to talk to any exes of his (for fear of him being exposed) vs JWs: you cannot read outside publiscations or talk to ex members because the org does not want to be exposed
Am I wrong here? I just feel like there are TOO many comparisons...it's actually kinda scarey. Anymore to add?????
-
1
untitled
by babygirl30 inwhat bothers me most about df'ing is not only the shunning, but the constant verbal reminders (by elders and the jw pubs) that jehovah has 'taken his holy spirit' away from you.
its sad cause the whole scenario of being a jw is like living with an abuser:.
abuse: abuser comes on strong - is sweet and falls in love quickly vs jws: love bombed and drawn into the org by association.
-
-
babygirl30
What bothers me most about DF'ing is not only the shunning, but the constant verbal reminders (by elders and the JW pubs) that Jehovah has 'taken his holy spirit' away from you. Its sad cause the whole scenario of being a JW is like living with an abuser:
ABUSE: Abuser comes on strong - is sweet and falls in love quickly vs JWs: Love bombed and drawn into the org by association
ABUSE: sets the stage for isolation from family and friends vsJWs: sets the stage for isolation from 'non JW' family and friends
ABUSE: Once you marry/move in with abuser, you are HIS property vsJWs: once baptized, you are the WBTS's property
ABUSE: convinces you that HE is the authority on all vsJWs: convinces you that WBTS is authority on all
ABUSE: threatens that if you leave him, NOBODY will want you vsJWs: if you leave JWs, you are threatened with NO association
ABUSE: You are constantly trying to do more to make HIM happy vs JWs: you are constantly trying to do more to make WBTS/CO/elders happy
ABUSE: Uses power and control to manipulate you to see things HIS way vs JWs: use power and control to manipulate you to see things THEIR way
ABUSE: make you believe HE will leave you if you don't do as he wants vs JWS: make you believe THEY will let you go (DF) if you don't do as WBTS wants
ABUSE: Trying to leave him is not as easy as walking away vs JWs: leaving the org is NOT as easy as just not coming or walking away
ABUSE: takes everything away or witholds from you when you leave HIM as a ploy to get you to come back vs JWs: takes everything away from you when you are DF'd in order for you to come back
ABUSE: expects YOU to make amends (beg and plead) with HIM in order to go back vs JWs: expect YOU to make amends with them (reinstatement letter) to 'beg' for forgiveness to be accepted back
ABUSE: the threat of losing everything will keep you locked in the bad relationship out of fear vs JWs: the threat of losing your whole association and standing will keep you in the org out of fear
ABUSE:you are NOT permitted to talk to any exes of his (for fear of him being exposed) vs JWs: you cannot read outside publiscations or talk to ex members because the org does not want to be exposed
Am I wrong here? I just feel like there are TOO many comparisons...it's actually kinda scarey. Anymore to add?????
-
19
In your experience how many DFd return to the WTS?
by teel infrom the 11/15/09 wt study article: "it is heartwarming to know that a large number of such ones [disfellowshipped ones] later return to jehovah and his congregation...".
this is a typical cult phrase, where they use a generic unverifiable statement to prove a point.
so, since we're not likely to get an official answer from the wt, how many of the dfd ones in your vicinity has actually been reinstated?.
-
-
babygirl30
I was told that apprx 1/2 of those DF'd return...and that the avg time period is w/n 2yrs.
-
9
I got engaged this weekend!
by feenx ini popped the question and got a yes!
i have to say, it's a bit surreal.
being raised a jw, being out now for 7 years and gradually adjusting to "normal" life.
-
-
babygirl30
CONGRATULATIONS on adjusting to 'worldly' life and making the big decision to get engaged!!! Wishing you the best ...
-
22
Slightly weird mess-up by the Society...service meeting part
by sir82 inif there's one thing the society loves, it is punctuality and regularity.. every year for at least the past 30 years, without fail, you could set your atomic clock by it, what is the primary topic of the 1st service meeting in january?.
you find out where and when your district convention will be that year.. so, looking at the december km, sure enough, there is an insert covering the usual topics (don't save seats, arrive on time, spit out your gum, don't pee in the hotel pool, etc.)..
but wait a minute!
-
-
babygirl30
It still used to crack me up that they had to TELL the friends NOT TO COOK IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM! -hahahaha. But I swear, inevitably, there was that ghetto family that didn't give a rats, and they were frying chicken on a hot plate in their room...having the whole hallway smelling like a southern cookout! -hahahahaha.
Oh...and all that talk about wearing your badge at all times - even OFF the convention premises. Really? So we're all supposed to be humble and NOT draw attention to ourselves, yet wear our badges and suits/dresses for 24hrs and DRAW people to quesiton us about our attire and our nametags? Am I missing something?????????????????