Posts by nugget

26

Would it be too cruel to..............

by Amelia Ashton in

jw
friends

yesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.

she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.

she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.

nugget

Good luck you are right to be true to yourself and let the cards fall where they may.

26

Would it be too cruel to..............

by Amelia Ashton in

jw
friends

yesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.

she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.

she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.

Will you benefit from going? If the visit will stress you out then don't go. Only you know what you are able to tolerate and only you know the level of risk you would be undertaking by having increased intereaction. If she has family still in, and knows mutual contacts then you risk exposure. You will not be able to be yourself, express your real point of view or totally relax. It was a shame your daughter was not more discreet about your address or at least contacted you first.

I would politely decline the invitation.

36

Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me

by sosoconfused in

i am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.

the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.

i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.

nugget

I am sorry that your mother is putting so much pressure on you. Unfortunately she is going into full cult mode believing this emotional manipulation and blackmail will bring you to your senses and you will come back to God's loving organisation. She cannot see that her unloving and aggressive response to your emotional and spiritual dilema is confirming your doubts.

At the moment she is trying to manipulate you herself when this doesn't work she may decide to go to the elders. Certainly her message suggests that she has total faith in the organisation. She has no appreciation for your perspective or your emotional well being and as you are no longer one of the faithful she will not even consider what you want or feel.

Whilst she is coming to terms with the situation I would keep your distance from her and limit contact. She is currently unstable and when she cannot influence you her attention will turn to her grandchildren, certainly they do seem to be a preoccupation in all her messages.

For now I would focus on your family unit preparing and building a life that will allow a smooth transition from the cult life to a more normal one. As you seem to be moving towards an end game take control of those elements of your life your have power over.

27

Next Of Kin - your JW family will REFUSE BLOOD if you need it...

by talesin in

jw
friends

simon's thread about making a will reminded me of this issue, and the fact that many of you may not have given it much thought.. .

this is something that occurred to me many years ago - and i have a good friend listed as my next of kin (nok).

a few years ago, i had a situation where i was hemmorhaging, not capable of giving consent because i was heavily sedated, and the permission had to be signed.

nugget

It is also worth speaking to the family doctor or GP. As Jws we were encouraged to notify them regarding our stand on blood so that it could be entered into our medical records. If we have ever been to accident and emergency we would have been asked our religious affiliation and this would be recorded on the system. They do not ask this question on subsequent visits as they just pull up the original record and it may be there lurking regardless of our change in viewpoint. Unpicking our old JW life seems to take forever but it is worth updating our records to ensure that the correct medical treatment is available to us.

44

Brilliant video catches Governing Body red-handed ignoring their own "name-calling" warnings

by cedars in

here it is.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4sednn9nli.

.

cedars.

nugget

An identifying feature of apostates is jealousy. Really jealous of what? They have nothing I want and certainly I am not jealous of the millions having to drive miles to listen to this hate filled speech.

13

The Prodigal Returns

by TimothyT in

hi guys.

its been a while.. as it is convention time i was just intrigued as to the new releases so i came on here and saw a new dvd.

i decided to go on to youtube where i found it and watched it.

nugget

Good to see you are doing well. Happy for you.

153

The antidote to the myth that JWs are declining

by slimboyfat in

one of the most persistent myths on this website is that jws are already in decline, the rot has set in, and the descent of the watchtower is inevitable from here on in.

unfortunately the facts do not bear this out.

jws are still increasing even in most developing countries, and they are still growing worldwide at a faster rate than the general population.

nugget

It is sad to see the increase even knowing that the figures are massaged and inflated does not help. It is human nature for people to cling to things that are familiar and JW programming is extremely strong. It takes tremendous will power and courage to walk away knowing what you will loose. Most people will stay even though they are miserable and stressed because the thought of doing something differently does not occur to them.

82

My Mom has decided to turn me in... I am not afraid (Letter Inside)

by sosoconfused in

the only reason i am posting this is because i know many of you are going or will be going through something similar and wonder if it is worth it.

i personally feel that it is worth it regardless of what i lose.

my wife is backing me and i have my children.

nugget

She has reverted to type falling back on all the old JW argument and rhetoric. I feel for her since she is unable to see the truth and deception despite your explanation.

She says she loves you and that is a positive. She qualifies that by saying she loves Jehovah more but what is sad is she allows herself to be manipulated by a group of power hungry men. She is unable to process difficult information at the moment. It is always hard in the beginning but having close family supporting you and knowing that the children are free of the corruption is strong motivation.

43

Fading ... and Feeling Lost

by What Now? in

prior to that we had been in a new congregation for about 9 months, and we were just irregular.

my husband rarely went, and i would go occasionally with our toddler son just enough to show our faces and keep the elders off our backs, and for the sake of some friendships in our old hall.

all of the reasons i had for going were just no longer important.

nugget

Friends are out there but as witnesses we did not have to make an effort. Here are some of the things we did that helped us to build a network of solid friendships.

We reconnected with old school friends and worldly relatives and apologised for being total idiots.

We joined sites for ex jws and meetup sites and got involved in activities.

We offered our home as a venue for get togethers and held events and meet ups of our own.

We made sure that we kept in contact with those we met up with via facebook and were there for them if they needed help and reached out to them when we needed help.

We were open to opportunities in the neighbourhood, did volunteer work and made an effort to speak to people. I connected with another working mum who had issues with short term childcare. I look after her children on teacher training days and she drops my son home when I am working in the afternoon and can't be at the school to meet him. We do things together as well.

What I have learnt is being passive is not helpful. People will not generally come to you. As witnesses we carry a barrier around with us and other people sense it. It makes us hard to approach. When we left I started telling people that we were no longer witnesses and why. I made sure that I sent Christmas cards to everyone who had helped with the children and were our neighbours.

Take up a hobby or take a class, find people who are interested in the same things there are many people out there looking for someone to connect with and although not everyone wants to be your friend, many are open to the idea.

77

I just informed the parents about me and the TTATT... heart wrenching

by sosoconfused in

well first i want to thank everyone here for the good points etc... i have received over the last few months.

you guys have really been helpful!.

so the other day my mother wrote me a 3 page letter telling me how she was so scared for me because she could tell my love for the truth was gone etc.. so i decided i wanted to totally rip the band-aid off and get this matter over and done with.

nugget

There comes a point when you need to take the irrevocable step when lying is more painful than the consequences of truth. Your parents have feared this moment and so have you but now the worst is over. It sounds like your mum is more affected by the revelations but at least she took the time to read what you provided and she can see what motivated you to reach your decision. Whether she will reach the same conclusions you did is difficult to know but certainly she is shocked by what you showed her. Give her some space to let it sink in.

I wish you well and hope that your relationship with your parents can reach some kind of balance.