Posts by nugget

30

A Popular Question Raised by people who were never JW.

by Momma-Tossed-Me in

jw
friends

i talk to a lot of people about the watchtower because it comes up in conversation all of the time.. money eventually becomes a topic as it is a very wealthy corporation.. so the question is always raised and it is a good one, "who controls it?".

people want to know "who has the power of the purse strings?

" and quite frankly so do i.. there is someone behind the scenes who knows so much that the wtbts could never fire him or her.

nugget

Wannabefree - that was so funny I laughed til I cried.

36

I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget in

this year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

my mum is a jw my father is not.

my husband and i hade been df'd and i have 3 sisters.

nugget

thank you all for your input it helps to get objective points of view.

36

I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget in

this year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

my mum is a jw my father is not.

my husband and i hade been df'd and i have 3 sisters.

nugget

there is also the issue that as any gathering is likely to be held in their home town as my mum does not like to travel, my presence may compromise my inactive sister and force the issue for her especially if my older sister knows she is attending an event where I am likely to be. She may not be ready to cut the cord completely yet. Trust me my older sister will stomp all over the moral high high ground if she thinks she is in possession of it.

36

I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget in

this year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

my mum is a jw my father is not.

my husband and i hade been df'd and i have 3 sisters.

nugget

I was wondering whether to play the necessary family buisiness card but the issue I see with this is that as it would inevitably involve a meal she will object to eating with DF'd people. If she raises a stink then this places my JW mum in an awkward position since my sister is the sort who will demand that my mum complies. My mum has the get out of jail free card since my non JW dad is head of the house and will not tolerate shunning in his home. This does not mean that my sister will not sour the event she is a self appointed thought policeman for the family.

I am thinking that it may be worth while paying for my parents to have a romantic dinner somewhere nice just the two of them on their anniversay and then hold an informal family gathering at the weekend. I sometimes think I am so close to the mess I can't think rationally.

36

I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget in

this year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

my mum is a jw my father is not.

my husband and i hade been df'd and i have 3 sisters.

nugget

Thanks Amelia look forward to it.

36

I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget in

this year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

my mum is a jw my father is not.

my husband and i hade been df'd and i have 3 sisters.

nugget

This year will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary. My mum is a JW my father is not. My husband and I hade been Df'd and I have 3 sisters. Sister number 1 is married to an elder and is a staunch JW. When I phoned her to tell her I was being Df'd she was typically judmental, unsympathetic and more concerned that everybody was aware of the need to shun me than anything else. I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Sister no 2 was never baptised and lives in the US. Sister 3 is baptised but inactive and does not attend meetings and lives with my mum and dad.

My sister in the USA wants to fly back to the UK for the anniversary and has asked if my parents are planning anything. As far as I am aware they are not. My older sister planned the other big family do so I wouldn't know if she has made any plans this time as I will not be included. I would like to mark this special occasion for my parents but anything I am involved in will be blighted by the fact my older sister will refuse to come. I also don't want to make trouble for her as my Dad is very sensitive on this issue and will be furious with her if he knows she is being an arrogant JW.

Part of me is also resentful that my sister will spend time with my 2 other sisters when essentially there is little to choose between our views and lives but will be exclude my family. But that is me and I can work with that.

What I need is some help as to how to navigate this social minefield so that it is a happy time for my parents and not blighted by ill feeling, family arguments over shunning and bad feeling. I don't want to force the issue as this will spoil whatever is arranged thi is for my parents and I don't want it to be about me and being shunned.

Any help would be appreciated this has the potential to be a total mess.

21

Indoctrinating the Grandchildren, Knowing the Parents Object.

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

in january, i posted this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/220914/1/leaving-jw-tracts-at-the-funeral-visitation.

this is a continuation of the thread.

here's the opening post of that thread, so you don't have to relive the whole thing:.

nugget

What is so sad is how blind witnesses are to the offense they cause. They cannot see that pushing literature at a funeral for someone who does not share their beliefs is in poor taste and inappropriate. They cannot see that when people are struggling to make sense of their grief that it is not the time to push their point of view. They cannot see that they are behaving offensively and therefore people will want to avoid them. They have no sense of boundaries or how to position their beliefs whilst respecting someone elses point of view.

Sally could have said "We all take comfort in our own way, it is so nice that we remember them as god does." She doesn't need to contradict the parents and would not be offending anyone.

I would put it to your wife that this woman has suffered the loss of a child, she is in pain and needs empathy and understanding at this time. She does not need to be criticised for what she believes and how she gives comfort to her children. Unless Sally learns to show respect for her pain and her position she is likely to be kept at bay and will not be a significant part of their lives. It won't matter what Sally regards as truth if she makes herself repellant to the family. Her "truth" delivered in a guided missile can only be destructive.

They are so arogant sometimes you just want to slap them.

156

In love with a JW...

by CuriousUK in

apologies if this has been discussed before, or is in the wrong forum, but i could really do with some advice.

two years ago i met the love of my life; someone i regard as my soulmate.

he is an active jw and i am a practising church of england person.

nugget

I'm from the uk and can confirm that jws are similar the world over. Shunning of members who leave of their own accord or are df'd is alive and well and common practice. Our hall had a talk in which someone dating outside the organisation was told this was disloyal to god and if this person did not change their ways then they should be marked as a bad association. Any brother who marries outside the faith would not be approved for any advancement within the congregation leading to resentment within the family.

You are being realistic be aware that the cult conditioning is deep and profound and can lead to guilt for many years. Unless someone breaks free totally there is always a risk they will be drawn back. If someone is df'd but still believes then again they may find themselves seeking reinstatement later even after many years. Witnesses are troubled souls and they cannot be your soulmate all the time they abdicate so much of themselves to an organisation.

156

In love with a JW...

by CuriousUK in

apologies if this has been discussed before, or is in the wrong forum, but i could really do with some advice.

two years ago i met the love of my life; someone i regard as my soulmate.

he is an active jw and i am a practising church of england person.

nugget

think about your relationship from the other side. Did you feel he was in any way unworthy of you because he held different beliefs to yours?

Did you ask him to convert to Cof E to make him acceptable to your friends and family?

Did you have to hide your relationship from them for fear of reprisals?

When your relationship became public who said you should not talk to or see each other? Why should public knowledge be a bad thing?

Your religion freely accepts you for who you are and accepts that you may wish to form a relationship with someone of another faith. Your friends and family love you for who you are and accept people on the basis of how they behave not what they believe. Will your friendfs and family cut off all contact with you if you decided that you no longer wished to be CofE? would they be taught to hate you because you thought differently or because you were unhappy with a point of doctrine?

Jws are a very closed world full of rules and restrictions. Marrying into the world for love may be a huge mistake because you will be the one who must always compromise. You are already being asked to commit to a faith you do not believe in, if you get baptised you will not be able to have a dissenting opinion and you will gradually be discouraged from contact with people who are not witnesses. You will find it is your family and friends you will be expected to loose, your holidays you must give up, your beliefs you must compromise. Love should be about give and take on both sides not one person making all the sacrifices. It is clear you love him but does he truly love you or the you he wants you to be.

I would say if you do not hold his beliefs then your opinion will never count with him. Is this really the basis of a happy marriage? One of you will need to give up everything to be together. By marrying you he looses his family and friends and is dead to them. If you convert and marry him you give up your beliefs and are distanced from your family and friends and will loose the relationships with them you have now. It is an insane choice and until he leaves the cult you are better off appart.

40

The gal I'm dating frequents match.com - advice?

by UnConfused in

i am dating a gal that i met on match.com - we saw each other first last summer, but she didn't think we were a 'match'.

after the "pressure" was off we started hanging out quite a bit with all the benefits that go along with it.

this went on for months.. i became smitten with her, but we weren't a couple, which she pointed out a couple of times.

nugget

Good to hear. Just goes to show you can't make assumptions about people's motives.