MMXIV

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Posts by MMXIV

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  92

  Dating a JW for 3 yrs

  by justbreathe825 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

  i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

  i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

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  MMXIV

  I think it's policy not to delete them.

  I don't think you should feel guilty though. No-one here will ever know you or your bf unless you tell us, and we still probably won't know you. You have every right to discuss what you think and feel. I understand that your bf might feel hurt that you were questioning your relationship with him (I would have felt hurt). That is between the two of you - no different to him reading your personal thoughts in a diary.

  So I say again you should not feel guilty as you have done nothing wrong. Honesty is a good thing. You should be able to research your views and see what similar people may have experienced. You have done this in an anonymous way.

  I hope the two of you continue to read what others have and are experiencing on this site. Or look at the information that is presented on jwfacts.com.

  Regards

  mmxiv
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  55

  New here..

  by breakfree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to introduce myself.

  i've been reading your posts for a couple of months now and i think i finally have the courage to join in.

  i have written and deleted this post many times.

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  MMXIV
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  55

  New here..

  by breakfree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to introduce myself.

  i've been reading your posts for a couple of months now and i think i finally have the courage to join in.

  i have written and deleted this post many times.

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  MMXIV

  Welcome Breakfree,

  Don't say sorry for an absorbing story. This is the 2nd story of the week where the actions of the elders with a minor have resulted in damage that exists decades later. I'm so sorry that your parents think this was a proper way to treat a child.

  I have not experienced anything quite so harrowing. I know of someone who has and their parents have the same attitude as yours do today.

  I think as JW's we sometimes go through many situations where repression is expected. I'm glad that you are finding your way out of this, getting back to normality.

  Isn't it great to have your own family that can make it's own choices now, free from following some harmful code? You are giving your children the protection and the chance at life that you weren't given

  How can a child be old enough to understand and commit their life to a cult but be too young to be able to kiss a boy? Something's rotten in Denmark.

  mmxiv
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  75

  I'm coming out

  by MsDucky in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just found out that i have breast cancer on thursday (see topic http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/medical/190249/1/i-was-in-the-hospital ).

  my sister has breast cancer too.

  she has had it longer than me.

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  MMXIV

  Very sorry to hear. This must be a big shock. This is your time to rely on the people around you. If you feel you want to then please share the highs and lows with us (you can expect a certain amount of debate and fun in response).

  mmxiv

  Also Podo - best wishes to you too. I don't send flowers to blokes so you can have a football instead
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  25

  My experiences that have turned me away.....

  by agent86 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  google_ad_section_start hi everyone, i am just new to this site and thanks for a very dear friend that has encouraged me to post my story and would love to hear feedback from all you out there xx.

  this is my story.

  we were introduced to the religion in 1982, not soon after we were unbaptized publishers (a bit to soon for me even at that age) i really didnt miss the celebrations as much as were werent that well off and my parents worked 6 days a week to pay the bills.

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  MMXIV

  Welcome agent86.

  That is a horrifying story. I'm not surprised by how this has affected you, although I have never heard of anything quite like it. It sounds quite surreal - almost a piece of fiction except that you had to live through this.

  I find it interesting that even when the truth was found out (good on your dad for finally extracting it) that it was little consolation and nothing was done to ensure you were treated properly from then on.

  Growing up in the truth is not growing up in a progressive environment full of forgiveness. What you have described and was my experience too was a place where judgement and punishment existed and your whole life's transgressions (or percieved transgressions) were held against you.

  This is why elders, who are untrained in specialist social work, shouldn't be expected to do the job of the police, social services or therapists. It is the fault of the WTS who even now equips them with the KS10 - a simple book of judging and expects them to do something they cannot do. The policies were and are still wrong. It is the fault of the elders who know when they are out of their depth and do not let professionals deal with it. It is the fault of people at the KH who judge others and do not show love. This was not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

  I'm glad that you are now protecting your children from this environment, they will never know how lucky they are. That is a truly important and great thing that has come out of all this badness.

  I also read this as if you were a boy until you mentioned your husband - I presume because you called her a cute girl and the subject matter I would normally associate with a boy - good twist if ever you thought about taking up fiction.

  mmxiv
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  9

  Do you hate the person you were, in the WT ??

  by wobble in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i look back, i can do so with rose coloured spectacles, but, in truth, i do not like the cult member i was.. o.k , in mitigation i was one of the most liberal jw's in a very liberal congregation, i never did the 100% shunning bit, i found nice seats (not at the very back, and next to their family if poss.

  ) for the df'd ones after giving them a proper welcome to the k.h for example.. but i still see clearly that my thinking was twisted by those mind controlling bastards who run, and write for ,the wtb$.

  i did not trust anybody worldly to any great degree, i believed the "system" would end one day and so i didn't have to contribute anything to it,.. i could go on, but basically i hate all those things about me that were from the cult.. how about you ?

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  MMXIV

  I was told I had wisdom beyond my years and believed I did when I was only a kid without much experience. I hate that.

  I didn't know how to say no - so I was a yes man (or yes kid).

  I was brought up naive - hadn't kissed a girl till I was 18. Had no idea how to get a girl or what to do if I did. Never allowed to date as a teenager. That meant the first girl I went out with wrapped me round her little finger. I hate that.

  I didn't work hard enough in school because the end was going to come. I had no goal at the end of school like going to Uni. I hate that I didn't try harder knowing it was all bunkem.

  I shunned a good friend at a wedding. I was under the spotlight and felt I couldn't chat to him with everyone watching. I asked if he was coming to the reception in the evening as I wanted to catch up with him later when people weren't around. He said yes but then didn't turn up. I never heard of him again. I hate that fear controlled me.

  mmxiv
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  43

  Favorite Quotes

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we all talk about the negatives about the ugly face of the watchtower that i thought i would start a 'happy' thread.. what are some of your favorite non-wt quotes?.

  here's a good one to start:.

  you cannot be, i know, nor do i wish to see you, an inactive spectator.

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  MMXIV

  Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

  John Lennon
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  92

  Dating a JW for 3 yrs

  by justbreathe825 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

  i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

  i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

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  MMXIV

  He is fully aware of what he should or shouldn't be doing as a JW and dating a girl in the world is a no no. The only credability he can get back is by getting you baptised. That is his evil plan. Then to try and shift the blame onto you (to use an old JW metaphor)?

  If he had any sincerity he would be apologising to you, not putting the blame onto you.

  This must be very hard for you.

  mmxiv
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  92

  Dating a JW for 3 yrs

  by justbreathe825 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

  i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

  i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

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  MMXIV

  justbreathe825,

  The JW's use all means of control. Fear and guilt are used all the time by the WTS and the people in it. Sadly on ocassion some like jamiebowers have also been subjected to far more such as threats to their life and physical abuse and had to take drastic action just to be here today to tell the tale. That tends to be extreme, but not uncommon.

  Getting back to the guilt. It doesn't stop. Many JW's suffer depression or other similar problems due to not being able to live up what you are told to. They are told it is due to their lack of faith in the new system rather than something medical. You are made to feel guilty for not going to every meeting, going on field service enough, not getting enough bible studies, not spending enough time studying all the WTS publications. It isn't long before you feel guilty for not being happy??!! You will also be guilted into feeling selfish - that it is your fault.

  JW relationships often involve a lot of guilt as people simply adopt the WTS techniques. They can also lack real honesty as there are so many things you are not allowed to say or do. Living a double life or justifying what you do is almost a given. Your bf is clearly being heavily controlled by his parents as well as the WTS. Not a good place to be. He will have to do a lot to sort himself out but the first step is wanting to.

  The fact you can correctly recognise the source for feeling guilty is a great step and being able to stand up to it.

  I hope your chat goes well. You are certainly approaching this in a mature way.

  mmxiv
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  35

  Is it socially and professionally acceptable to drink a beer during your lunch break?

  by miseryloveselders in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been watching my alcohol intake for dietary reasons.

  i've been limiting my consumption to a small half glass of vodka, or a shot or two of bourbon.

  alcohol just doesn't do well with the gains i want to make working out.

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  MMXIV

  I worked for a media company. It was very plush, private offices with sofa & rug. Under the desk would be a mini fridge *** each *** always rammed with beers / wine. You could start the evening off with a few at your desk, wander down to the on site bar, and if you missed all of that, on a Friday they came round with a drinks trolley to start the weekend off definitely ok in that industry

  mmxiv