Has anyone here ever had to deal with an Emotional Terrorist, and if so, how did you handle the situation?
Yup...my first and only JW quasi-boyfriend. We never really dated, but had a "aww you're of the opposite sex and you flirt with me--we must be in love" relationship. It was far more intense on his end than mine. I knew I didn't want anything serious with him, and he was all about getting married.
I believed/believe the stories he told me about the abuse his father dealt him. It was some of his other stories that I didn't believe. About wonderful things he had done. He always had to be the hero in his stories.
I wanted to distance myself from him, and told him so. Then it began. He would call me all the time. Usually in tears. He used to follow me everywhere--show up where I was, (driving 40 miles out of his way)etc. Anytime he would get all teary and spout about how I was his only friend and the only person who really cared about him, I would cave in--hug him and tell him it would be all ok. After a while this got old--I continued to tell him I wanted nothing serious with him. Friends only.
Then he started to threaten to kill himself.
At first I freaked out. I did not want this guys death on my hands. And in so many words he told me it would be my fault. "You are the only thing that matters to me--without you I have no reason to live" etc. Again I would buckle.
After so many threats tho..it got very old. It sounds so harsh and so awful--but one night for about the 30th time, he said "I should just kill myself"...and I said, "Yeah--maybe you should" Having been suicidal and attempting it myself--(Without telling anyone) I started to not buy his pleas. Thankfully my calling his bluff worked out. He did not kill himself, and is still alive to day. But it was only by being totally callous and downright evil to this guy before he got the hint that you can't behave that way with people.
He was the worst case scenario--but I have had plenty of other "emotional terrorists" in my life. The drain they cause on your life is tremendous.
