Posts by joelbear

20

Do they try too hard to be 'normal?'

by LDH in

jw
friends

it has occurred to me recently, that a lot of the behavior of jws in good standing is done to trick themselves and others into thinking they're normal.

when in fact, they're not.. example:.

when a young jw man goes to a 'gathering' he will drink one beer loudly and proclaim how good cold beer is!

joelbear

They are normal. They want to fit in and be accepted by other people yet they want to feel special. I think that is true of almost everyone to some degree or another.

We want to be liked for who we are, yet we want to be liked. So, we adapt ourselves to our surroundings for our survival and our comfort.

The point is, Jehovah's Witnesses are just like everybody else. There is nothing special about being "in the truth". They have good days and bad days, some are good, some are bad, some are downright nasty people. But they are people.

They are more trusting of their group leader's than most other people. I do think that is what enables them to be so dispassionate with regard to family and friends who do not share their beliefs and so blithely look forward to the destruction of their non witness neighbors.

hugs

Joel

4

Timely Internet Anonymity Article

by You Know in

jw
friends

click here>>>>>>>>> http://www.newsbytes.com/news/01/162428.html.

/ you know

joelbear

Which is more important, god's laws or man's?

God's law is pretty clear that slanderers and/or revilers will not inherit God's kingdom. There is no anonymity from Jehovah.

I am fascinated by this. It proves that as low as you think a person can go, they can also go lower.

peace to all, even You Know. I think he needs it more than anyone here.

Joel

32

funny old life isnt it....

by Deacon in

jw
friends

i was just looking out the window, as it would happen a middle aged woman, or perhaps a young woman worn out with her life walked past.

she stopped on the edge of the mall where my wifes office is, and sat on a bench outside the window.

on close look, she couldnt have been more than late 30's, but probably only 35.. she sat for a while just looking at the ground in front of her, her face just exhibiting that blank look of the world weary.

joelbear

Deacon,

We are all on our own path. If you feel the need to be reinstated, you should do it for what ever reasons you have.

LDH,

Please let us know the outcome of your complaint. I have interest in pursueing that tack.

All,

Everyone has to face the fact of dying. I don't necessarily think its worse for those who thought at some point they would not die, but perhaps I am mistaken regarding this. I think most young people think of themselves as immortal. It is not until your body starts telling you that you are not immortal that you have to face facts.

Joel

8

So Will You Appease Or Confront?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

its been getting pretty lively on this board of late.

at the moment there is a great diversity of opinion as to how anti-social behaviour should be handled.

'course, its easy when someone like yk posts his umpteenth attack on the exs.

joelbear

Most antagonistic posts are made for shock value. Just like with an obscene phone caller, ignoring is the best tactic. It keeps the antagonizer from getting his buzz.

Reaction is exactly what they are after.

hugs

Joel

17

Jumping from one cult to another?

by amused1 in

jw
friends

i stumbled across this site doing research for a paper.

you all have much greater problems and common mental flaws than just being "former" jw's.. let me explain.

many (i won't generalize all of you) of you are on here ranting and raving about the jw's did this and the wt did that.

joelbear

Amused.

Thanks for the return hug.

I don't think the Watchtower exercises mind control. I do they exercise emotional control. They use our ties with our families and our witness friends to manipulate us into society loyal behavior.

Doctrinally, some of there concepts are completely sound, others are just silly. But I think this is true of most religions, philosophies and political ideologies.

Disfellowshipping and marking are heinous practices, used to emotionally control people. Again, some people are more susceptible to this than others due to their own nature's.

I encourage you to use your youthful vigor and enthusiasm to help others see how wonderful life can be as you spread your wings and explore the world. Offer us some great stories about your life and how you have used your freedom to create a happy enjoyable life for yourself. That's the way to help others.

hugs

Joel

13

Wouldn't have so many converts huh.

by esther in

jw
friends

ok, so i got my idea from bugeye's wife's thread.

if the wtbts decided to change its doctrine so that the age for baptism was 30 years, the same age as john and jesus, would everyone who was baptised under that age have their baptism invalidated?

if so, what would happen to any disfellowshipped ones whose baptism was invalid?

joelbear

I would like to see someone sue the WTBS on the point that they make baptism a contract with the Watchtower Society. This can be evidenced by privileges that are extended only to those who are baptized. These priviledge or organizationally based.

Minors cannot legally be held to any contract. Adding on top of this that the contract is a verbal one not a written one, that is, it is made by the answered of the 2 questions, not by signed a form, and it seems like those baptized under 18 had a good case as having this verbal contract nullified, thus eliminating all privileges and punishments.

If the Watchtower were simply a religion, this would probably not be possible, but since they are set up as a corporation, I think it might be possible. I'll join the class action law suit if you will.

hugs

Joel

17

Jumping from one cult to another?

by amused1 in

jw
friends

i stumbled across this site doing research for a paper.

you all have much greater problems and common mental flaws than just being "former" jw's.. let me explain.

many (i won't generalize all of you) of you are on here ranting and raving about the jw's did this and the wt did that.

joelbear

I take responsibility for my actions. I could have left at 16 also. I did leave at 30. I didn't leave at 16 because of my family situation. My father was an abusive drunk and I didn't want to leave my mother in that situation.

I signed up for college and my mother went into a deep depression. She had my best friend come over and talk me into throwing away the application.

People react to their surroundings completely differently. There is no way to judge one person's situation from that of another. Our psychic make up is determined by everything that has ever happened to us, plus our inherited mental and emotional traits.

I come here to share with others my story. I tell my story as it is, warts and all. I sure as hell ain't perfect. I talk about the good and bad experiences I had as a witness.

One thing I don't do, or at least make an effort not to do, is judge others. I am not perfect in this regard either.

I agree that making this web site the center of our lives is also a mistake. As I often say, I distrust any groups and that includes groups of ex JWs. That is one reason I stopped attending the gay ex JWs group. Not because I distrusted the individuals in the group, they are wonderful people, but because I recognize that groups form an agenda of their own that overshadows the individuals in the groups best interests.

I also realize that groups attract people who take advantage of individual's needs to socialize with others who share things in common. This usually takes 2 forms, 1) those who hold out the group as more important than it is in order to gain personal power over members of the group and 2) those who ridicule the group, again usually to gain personal power or more typically because they belong to another group and the ridicule is simply a form of group warfare.

I wish you peace. If I amuse you, so be it. Being amusing has its rewards.

hugs

Joel

12

You have three minutes - talk fast!

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

alright, i'm fed up with the shit going all one way!.

today i had my periodic phone conversation with the family back in the uk.

as usual, they veered the conversation around to "the truth".. "did you go to the meeting?

joelbear

Expat,

I vote strongly against sending the letter. All the evidence is there for those who want to investigate. My experience is that my witness relatives already know everything that I might point out to them. Logic is not what keeps them witnesses.

As you may have read, I have recently switched the scenario around with my family. I have disfellowshipped them from my life. While they are Jehovah's Witnesses, I view them as dangerous to me and my happiness. I have to protect myself from them and their self destructive ideas. Love, or supposed love, from someone who is a Jehovah's Witness is at the best worthless and at the worst, emotionally destructive.

I recently called my mother because I had heard her mother was ill and being put in a nursing home. She asked why she hadn't heard from me. I told her that I hadn't been feeling well and didn't want her to worry. Her immediate response was, "Well, you know where you can go to make you feel better."

I am sorry that my family is sick and codependent on a group that is only interested in what it can drain out of them. I wish things were different. I wish I had a happy family that loved each other in a healthy manner like so many "worldly" families that I know of through work and social outlets.

I am sorry your family is stuck there too. A letter is useless in my opinion. So is arguing religious thought logically. People believe what they need to believe.

I hope things work out for you.

hugs

Joel

23

Question for any elder/recent ex-elder

by OrangeBlossom in

jw
friends

the elders keep dropping by every couple of saturday's after bookstudy to check on us and try to encourage us back to meetings.

it has worked out that my husband has been gone when they visit so they keep coming back hoping to catch him sometime.

anyway, i told my hubby that we should at least go to the meetings once a week to keep them off our trail, which i went this past thursday night and wouldn't you know it the one elder approached me and mentioned that they still want to sit down with us and go over an article on meeting attendance.

joelbear

Orange,

My vote is that if you still have a lot of family in, that you bite your lip and go back to the meetings every once in a while and otherwise just lead your life.

Once a week is probably too much. I would try once a month. They are suspicious if they are trying to talk to you that much. Keeping them away is going to make them more suspicious. You need to figure out a way to satisfy them that you are just weak and not worth their time. I have a suspicion some of your relatives may be putting them up to it.

good luck and big hugs

Joel

18

Do all Bethelite marriages end up happy?

by freddi in

jw
friends

i just wanted to know if anyone out there knew the stats for bethelite marriages ending happily ever after.

whenever i would visit bethel, it seemed as though all the married couples were in it for life.

i know that marriage is supposed to be until death do you part but we all know that things do occur.

joelbear

I wouldn't say I am happy as I want to be, but I'm on the road.

I suffer from OCD which inhibits my happiness to some extent. I am also afraid of taking the risks necessary to explore life to its fullest, which is frustrating for me.

hugs

Joel