I felt the same too.
After I was Df'd I had trouble interacting with people. I had people I knew thru work etc.. but no real friends and no way of knowing how to develop friendships.
I was very defensive as well and wouldn't let people into my space, so I was my own worst enemy.
When I really needed my family, I had none, when I needed a shoulder to cry on, there was no one.
That was 7 years ago and I've been able to come out of it. I still don't have many friends, but that's ok.
I have a wonderful partner and 2 little girls, and they keep me busy and focused.
You nailed it Matty
"We all have to cultivate friends that will accept us for how we really are, not what they want us to be, and I know that kind of friend is REAL."
Kep
Posts by Kep
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53Thoughts about Depression and Anxiety
by flower inthis is mostly directed to others that were born/raised in the cult.
more specifically those raised in the cult who also suffered from severe depression and/or social anxiety disorder or any other mental illness (other than the normal probs that come with being in the borg).
sometimes i wonder if its just me that doesnt feel like a person now.
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Kep
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I'm New - my story
by Judith_01 inhi everyone, i too have been lurking for a few weeks and thought it was time i made myself known.
i am not a jw but i am married to a man who is from a multi-generational family of jw's (although he has not been to meetings since he was old enough to object).
although i have never had any direct involvement with the organisation itself, i find my life is constantly infulenced by these people who judge, shun and avoid my husband and i (i guess they don't want to mix with "worldy people" such as us).
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Kep
Welcome Judith,
Good to see more of us downunders about.
I hope you enjoy your time here, I certainly do.
Kep the Kiwi -
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Unfairly Disfellowshipped
by CiCi inafter being disfellowshipped 2 years ago, i finally got up the courage to join this discussion board.
my story is short and sweet.
well not sweet but short.
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Kep
Welcome CiCi,
Being out is the sweetest part, going thru the cr*p to get there isn't.
Kep -
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Well, here's my story... Like it or not.
by staceman inwow... i feel guilty about even being here, let alone posting my story.
but here goes.... it was back in the late 60's that my dad (actually stepdad who adopted me and my older sister when he married our mother) got witnessed to by a guy that he worked with.
he was invited to our house for dinner along with his wife and that was the beginning of my new life.
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Kep
Welcome Staceman.
My heart goes to you bro.
You have been thru a lot already and still have maintained admirable qualities.
Never feel that you are alone, the path you are on is one that many of us here have and continue to travel.
This is a wonderful place to find insight on many issues that we face at different times.
I love this place altho I'm not full on posting, I am full on reading and learning.
Take care.Welcome Salud, I look forward to your posts as well.
Kep
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My Husband Died One Year Ago Today
by Dutchie inafter eighteen years of marriage, my husband passed away last year of a terminal liver disease.
today is the aniversary of his death.
he died on april 22, 2001 and he was the love of my life.
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Kep
(((((Dutchie)))))
My deepest thoughts are with you at this time.
Memories are wonderful.Kep
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79
What is your Totem Animal?
by Hyghlandyr ina lot of you might think this is a question strictly for the pagans out there, but christians have had totem animals as well.
merriam-websters defines a totem as:main entry: totem .
pronunciation: 'to-t&m.
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Kep
Mony, the turtle tat sounds cool.
I was the same with Panthers.
I've always had a thing for them. As a result I got one on each arm.
Yet I'm not one for cats around the house eewwww!!! -
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lager , lager , lager.
by sleepy inso what do you drink, where and how?.
of course in britian we drink our pints down the pub.. i have to laught when i'm in europe as they only drink tiny glasses of beer , when you ask for their equivalent of a pint they look at you as if you are some nut case.. anyway i usually get through a couple of bottles of wine and several pints of larger a week.i drink most nights but not too much.. is it true that the legal age for alcohol is 21 in the states?.
i remember celabrating my baptism at 17 with a few pints in the pub.
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Kep
Is it true that they serve the beer in England warm??
Do they do that in most Euro countries ??
Way down here we have it cold, pints or 1/2 pints.
My Dad and I had an awesome watering hole, it was just around the corner from where we stayed. No need to drive home, just a brisk walk and we were home.
It's gone now, they turned it into a McDonalds of all things!!
Kep -
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BTW: I just got a new car this weekend! Yay!
by VioletAnai init's a ford laser hatch auto in amazon green...i luv it.... no smart-arse comments from any aussies either...i luv my fords..... .
it was a joke!
and you fell for it like the fascists you are!
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Kep
Hey Vi,
Congrats on the new wheels.
I've got a Ford at the mo' altho I've had me share of Holdens as well.
Sounds like a good set of wheels for blatting around in.
Kep -
42
Did you have a "religious experience" ?
by refiners fire inby "religious experience" i mean a moment, an incident, where you felt that god was directly addressing you thru a public talk, a watchtower article.
did god give you a "sign" that convicted you of the truth of "the truth"?.
my mother told me about one she had.
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Kep
Lizard, that's freaky man.
Gold, I used to dive a lot and love the smell and sound of the sea.
A song by Little River Band always takes me back to this time in my life - "Cool Change". Your experience is very touching.
Anne, I can relate to something similar. What did your rellies experience?
Beck, I did keep the shell for many years as a pendant until it broke. -
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Did you have a "religious experience" ?
by refiners fire inby "religious experience" i mean a moment, an incident, where you felt that god was directly addressing you thru a public talk, a watchtower article.
did god give you a "sign" that convicted you of the truth of "the truth"?.
my mother told me about one she had.
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Kep
During my time on reproof and before my Df I was severly depressed.
I left work early and drove to the beach.
As I drove there I wanted to end it all. I love the sea and so wanted to walk into the ocean and never come out.
I sat on the beach trying to build up the courage, cursing myself and the life I was living.
The day was warm and clear, the waves crashing on the sandy shore.
I sat there with tears in my eyes trying to clear my mind of all the terrible things I was thinking.
A young seagull landed on the sand some 20' in front of me and was squawking at me.
I sat there looking at it tossing sand with a shell.
This bird then walked right up to me and plucked the shell from my hand, then flicked it onto the sand.
I picked the shell up and it would do the same thing again.
We sat there for some 30-40 mintues playing with this shell.
I noticed people walking along the waters edge, and they would hear this bird, and see what it was doing and smile up at us.
At that time I felt special, the woes and concerns I had vanished.
The bird stayed with me until I left the beach.
The birds at the beaches I visit never do that, as soon as you move toward them they fly away, and never do they come up to you.
Why did that happen ?? I like to think that God was saying something to me, helping me see that I wasn't the worthless piece of sh*t I felt I was.
Kep