Vitameatavegamin,
Regarding your standing with God... the organization is NOT God. God is God. And he does not need an organization in order for people to do his will. for his will is not done by "army, or organization" but, BY MY SPIRIT."
Jesus is our only way to God, and the ONLY Truth of God. So if you are concerned about your standing with God, measure "yourself" in light of Christ. And I DO NOT MEAN say : "How many meetings have you attended, or how much studying have you done?"
I mean, "What exists in your HEART?" Do you have hate, envy, strife? If so go to him and ask him for holy spirit so that you may clean these out of your heart.
Do you have 'love' in your heart? How about TRUE LOVE? God's Love. Do you love those who hate you, FROM YOUR HEART? He who has 'perfect love' in him has God residing IN him.
1 John 3:16
Do you love God will all your heart? If so, then you would be willing to get disfellowshipped for the sake of Christ, yes?
Are you willing to be hated by ALL PEOPLE (JW, ex-JW) for the sake of Christ? If not, look in your heart and "know" yourself as to why.
When you look inside yourself and see your TRUE nakedness and your TRUE 'lack of faith' you will be "humbled" before your God and your God will come to you and speak directly to you, as to what you should and should not do. If you listen and obey the holy spirit, you will recieve more. If you refrain, you will know why you refrained and what you need to do to "hear his voice again."
Peace to you, dear one.
Aaron