firstly, i'm a study who initially believed every word of the jw's.
figured "no other religion takes the time and effort to help people understand the bible by publishing the watchtower and the other literature" not realizing that all it does is pick and choose scriptures to suit whatever sentence they'd just written, which can be done using any book, not just the bible.
i felt foolish, after that.. .
It's a horrid feeling, isn't it? I'll let the jw's give the details, but depending on the number of hours per month, jws are classified as "publishers", "auxiliary pioneers" and "pioneers". Pioneers have the highest status, and being a pioneer is the only way a jw woman can have any rank in the org, as the little tassel is all-important. Any other rank is a reflection of her husbands'.
So why would rank matter in an organisation full of love? You've been there, and probably know better than I
firstly, i'm a study who initially believed every word of the jw's.
figured "no other religion takes the time and effort to help people understand the bible by publishing the watchtower and the other literature" not realizing that all it does is pick and choose scriptures to suit whatever sentence they'd just written, which can be done using any book, not just the bible.
i felt foolish, after that.. .
Welcome, roxanesophia!
Like you I was a "bible study" but have now been promoted to "bad association" because I "failed to progress"
Ah well.
My question is how do i tell a zealous study conductor that I want to stop studying if "Satan" is the answer to everything
I'd bear in mind that the apparent affection and kindness they show, and the time they've given you is all recorded as "service" for which they get credit; it's hardly a personal favour of any kind. Your study conductor is zealous because of her beliefs and position in the cong, rather than because of any bond between you.
So, either of two ways - politely say that this will be the last study because you need to "consider prayerfully" on your own for now, or
Ask enough difficult questions that she will want to terminate. There is plenty of material here and on jwfacts if you prefer this course.
If she overplays the "Satan" card - just play along until it gets ridiculous even to her. Did satan make the wt redefine "generation" 5 times? Where was Jesus at the time? Did satan create so many animal and insect species that there's no way at all they could fit on the Ark? Can satan keep God from getting through to you?
Good luck, and kudos for being too honest to go out in "service" - because that's what it really was. Do your own research, and keep in touch!
Retro
pride and prejudice abound in the watchtower religion.. i go to the assemblies and it becomes very clear that the speakers are so proud of the fact that their religion is the one true religion and that they are so much better than the other churches out there.
the amount of pride i heard coming from the platform is astounding.
astounding still is the fact that they cannot see it themselves and at one point in time, i could not see it either.
Sometimes, I think we go through life seeking the approval of others
There's a lot in that. Often in the "bible studies" I was tempted to please my jw ladies by giving the "right" answers, and felt guilty when I objected yet again. They were after all, two polite and friendly ladies giving me their time. I was in a low spot then due to family difficulties and it really seemed to matter that I didn't alienate them.
Yet as my mood lifted over time I realised that they were, deliberately or not, working on the guilt and insecurity. Particularly they invited confidences about things I'd handled badly, sure that their religion would "help".
Something must be wrong with you to learn the truth and then deny it
That happened a lot. Whatever objections I raised with their primitive creationism were put down at once with "Darwinists just want to deny Jehovah so they can do as they please" - even when minutes earlier we'd agreed that we believe in the same God! Sheesh!
Seems crazy but I know that there is a saying that says, "It is not what we think of ourselves but what others think of us that defines our character."
In the sense of "perception is reality" - perhaps. But still it's only their reality, not yours.
Hang in there. Retro
hello all.... some of you have been following our story from the beginning - and even those of you who haven't should be able to relate to my quandary.... last week my 14 year old son told me he no longer wants to be a jw.
we laboured over telling his jw dad all week.
well, on friday night he finally came clean.. but in a bizarre and unexpected twist, after having sex with his girlfriend for the very first time - in his father's home that very afternoon.
Hi headisspinning,
Wow, such a lot is happening to you!
To recap, it seems that in the space of about a month, you son became a publisher, then told you he didn't want to be a jw, then told you he is sexually active with his gf? Have I followed correectly?
Teens are a volatile time, but I'd suggest the family problems may also be involved here. Certainly it's great and important that he can talk to you. Can I suggest that counselling might help him? (not elders, of course, but perhaps you could find someone appropriately qualified and experienced).
Failing that, check the library and the net for helpful books and articles for both of you. Coping with change, growing up; other peoples' accounts of transitional experiences. He has had a lot to deal with.
Also don't forget the sibling(sister?) - in my experience it's the quiet ones you need to watch!
And. . . in your place, I might leave Ray Franz' book somewhere he could see it.
Best of luck and hope you had a good Mothers Day, Retro
i made the final step the other day.. i donated blood.. .
i've been meaning to do it for ages, just never gotten around to it.
felt absolutely no guilt or akwardness at all.
Congratulations, Lehaa!
I'm a blood donor also; one of the major things that "stumbled" me in my "bible studies" was that insane doctrine!
i know of a few jw friends who from time to time have to do a disappearing act from their hall.
one jw finds a "reason" to leave town to visit relatives and another jw would go to "visit" another hall in a nearby vicinity.
in all honesty, they are fleeing from the strife in the kingdom hall when they are in the spotlight.
Hi Maze,
At the heart of its activities, Jehovah's Organization works against harmful gossip and slander. In fact, slander is a disfellowshipping offense
Well if it "works" against them, it doesn't seem very successful, eh? Or does it have a "wicked heart" too?
This sounds like a variant of "don't let a few imperfect people divert you from the "Truth". The wt makes great claims of having the "truth" and being known for "having love among them".
The trouble with big claims is that people can test their validity and call bs on them.
it was a beautiful, sunny day.
i was in the supermarket doing an early morning shop when i see an old friend of the family, a jw sister.. she asked me if i'd gone to the memorial and i told her no.
she said that the end is so close what with all the earthquakes and brother truthseeker, you need to come back to jehovah otherwise you will die and so will your children.
MrFreeze writes:
And Djeggnog replies:
The choice isn't akin to blackmail,
True, the choice isn't akin to blackmail. It is blackmail.
Talk about blackmail. If you dont join us your kids die. Thanks for the choice God!
in the past, i've tried reasoning with my wife concerning the reading of religious materials to our children but the reasoning is not getting through.
she believes that since my oldest daughter prefers church to the kingdom hall (no surprise) that in order to provide any kind of 'true' religious instruction she must read wt material geared to the kiddies.
in the past, i reasoned that if she insists on reading material to her that will ultimately trash my way of life then i could do the same.
garyneal wrote My oldest is very intelligent indeed
Then you're very probably home free. Who do kids listen to in late primary school and their teens - their own age group or their parents?
hello to jwn!
this is standfirm.
i mainly post on the topix jehovah's witness forum, but i decided to give it a try over here also.
StandingFirm,
I'd like you to support your initial assertion that "apostate material" is unconvincing - not by quoting the wt as saying so, but by giving examples and showing the fallacies in them.
Retro
my mind is screwed.
i am so messed up and there seems to be nothing i can do i can try to be as positive as i want but it always comes right back to this!
right back to me hating myself.
deservingone26, it sounds like depression, and depression can be treated. Get a referral to a good counsellor!
Also, I've never been a jw, but do know that the stress that you are under must be immense. You don't have to carry it alone. Getting help is as sensible as getting an infection treated before it worsens.
Whatever you do, it will take time but it will get better. You are not without personality or boring ,everyone seems boring while they are depressed. That will change, and you can become whatever you choose.
You are as valuable and important as any other person on the planet.
Take care of yourself through this hard time and keep in touch here!
Retro
