in all the hysteria surrounding the "new light" in the forthcoming july 15th watchtower, i forgot to mention that the magazine carries information on the "new governing body member" - who i think we can all safely assume is mark sanderson.. sadly i didn't get scans of the pages in question - just the juicy doctrinal stuff.
still, i thought it was worth a mention!.
cedars.
Welcome, JOHNROSS93! I'm afraid that your hope for a softening of the Governing Body thanks to Mark Sanderson's appointment will go unfulfilled. As the prophet Jeremiah once challenged his people, "Can a black man change his skin, or a leopard its spots?" No way the ruling coterie of the WTS is going to reform anymore than the biblical examples could change their appearances.
Quendi
after almost 40 years of being shunned by close family members, it never gets easier.
my own mother is under the spell of the "organization" and won't even write to me.
for a long time i sent her things - cards, news articles of interest, jokes, etc - i finally gave up.
I know the pain you feel, JOHNROSS93. I am disfellowshipped myself with some family still in the cult: an aunt and three cousins. They live on the other side of the country and I haven't seen them face-to-face in many years, certainly not since I was disfellowshipped nine years ago. the separation is painful but tolerable. It is the shunning by former friends here in Colorado which has been more difficult to endure. One of them in particular was my closest friend. We have spoken several times in the intervening years, but he won't do anything to rekindle our friendship. He won't return phone calls, emails or text messages.
My partner has urged me not to give up on this man as doing so would mean ending a close friendship of more than thirty years. And today, during church, our pastor gave a message that encouraged all his listeners to keep lines of communication open with one another. But while I still believe that communication is the lifeblood of every relationship we have, I am at a loss about how to communicate with those who no longer wish to love us as they once did but would rather treat us as if we are dead. The evil power of the WTS cult is no better demonstrated than in the shunning its members heartlessly practice against other people.
I agree with tenyearsafter and zeb about two-way shunning in that I will not force my affection on those unwilling even to acknowledge my existence. I have had little contact with JWs since I stopped attending meetings four years ago nor will I go out of my way to show them any special consideration. I won't approach those I used to know if I see them in a public place or some other venue because I also don't believe in putting people on the spot like that. There are a few Witnesses who have maintained contact with me, some who have responded to overtures from me with occasional talk and others who have made it clear they want nothing more to do with me. I have tried to react to individuals rather than to the organization when it comes to personal contact, but I have learned that unlike the WTS I cannot use a one-size-fits-all approach in this matter.
Shunning is both very painful and very powerful, a fact the WTS knows quite well. Cherry-picked scriptures are the basis for this policy and the organization has used it to maintain iron-clad control over its membership. The Governing Body has made it harsher with nary a peep from the rank-and-file, more's the pity. I suppose we can't expect any better given that we're dealing with a cult. What I find most disquieting is the way lives of people both inside and outside the cult's reaches are being negatively impacted. Like the ancient prophet of old, all I can do is cry out, "How long, O Jehovah?"
Quendi
so i am at the funeral for the son of an old mentor of mine and my closet truth friends.. .
(i talked about r in a previous post, he was the most formative person in my life in the truth, and those of my family and friends.).
i was pulled aside by r's wife; she tells me that r wants to talk to me.. .
I have really appreciated the kind and sympathetic way you have shared this experience about you and R, my friend. Returing to the hall, even for a funeral or memorial service, took a great deal of strengrh and love as well. I think the counsel Marina and rebel8 have shared is sound and I want to encourage you to take it because I think that both of you will benefit. I have nothing to add to what they have said except to say that remembering good times with old friends can facilitate healing and recovery. I wish both of these for you and R.
Quendi
elder 1. .
elder 2.. .
elder 3.. .
I stand corrected, Dis-Member. I didn't express myself too well. By 'suffering evil' I meant these men had bad things happen to them regardless of how it came about. I also did say that they were reaping what they had sown.
Quendi
please spare a moment to consider the difiiculties faced by gay jehovahs witnesses.
i was raised and baptised as a very serious jw.
every waking moment of my day was lived for jehovahs and his organization and for nothing else.
Hey, Trapped, I sent a reply to your pm on 4 July. I'll re-send it.
Quendi
finally got the guts to watch it last night.
it was so heartbreaking.. i was a partially brainwashed teenager when the story depicted in the movie happened, a few hundred miles away.
i remember the advocates' angry outbursts on tv and the dying men in hospital beds, holding hands.. being a sheltered jw, i had no exposure to homosexuality and only the twisted teachings of the wts to taint my views.
I have not yet seen this movie, but I appreciate the thoughts you've shared here, rebel8.
Quendi
elder 1. .
elder 2.. .
elder 3.. .
"You reap what you sow." From what Dis-Member has shared, it would seem these men never really met the qualifications the New Testament sets forth for elders and shepherds. Small wonder that they have suffered the evils they have. Let me say here that I have known some judicial committee elders who were good and upright men who did have integrity. But from what I have read and heard here and elsewhere, such men are far from common. But then the entire elder arrangement is flawed since its focus is not teaching and shepherding but controlling others.
Quendi
please spare a moment to consider the difiiculties faced by gay jehovahs witnesses.
i was raised and baptised as a very serious jw.
every waking moment of my day was lived for jehovahs and his organization and for nothing else.
My judicial committee didn't hesitate to ask all kinds of prurient and humiliating questions including whether I had ever had sex with animals. Early on, I would not have been surprised to hear them demand to measure my erection since they had no qualms about asking anything else. It took me some time to realize that these men had no intention of helping me and that they would never reinstate me. But once I did realize that, I seized the initiative: I intimidated them; I verbally assaulted and pushed them around; and I made it clear that I would control our meetings. Our last meeting was one I determined would be the last. I had decided to give them a last chance to grant reinstatement but whether they did or not, I would never meet with them again. When they begged off that five years of meeting me was not enough and they needed more time, I thanked them and never set foot inside a kingdom hall again.
The only reason I sought reinstatement was to resume contact with people I really loved. My plan was to get reinstated and then do a rapid fade. Looking back on the whole experience now, I should have refused to ever meet with the judicial committee in the first place. I did so only after being reassured that the elders wanted to help me--a lie I swallowed hook, line and sinker. Comparing notes with others who have been disfellowshipped has revealed a similar pattern of lies and abuse. So my advice to anybody told that a judicial committee will be formed to look into his case is to withdraw immediately and forthwith and never submit to this completely unchristian and unfair procedure.
I told my committee that a man could be anything in this organization: an adulterer, a murderer, a thief, an alcoholic or substance abuser, a wife beater, a liar and even a pedophile and he could expect a semblance of a fair hearing. But if he confessed to being a homosexual, even if he is only reproved, he can expect to be viewed and treated with disgust and contempt by most in the congregation. The elders will despise him and the details of his situation will not be kept confidential. My committee denied this, but subsequent events proved me right. As I've said elsewhere, I love Jehovah; it is his Witnesses that I can't stand and so there is no way I will ever willingly associate with them again.
Quendi
well, now they want a follow up visit!
when you tell the elders that you have doubts and they say " its okay, we have had our doubts.
having doubts is not apostasy.
Refuse the request for a follow-up visit. You are on your way out of this cult, DATA-DOG, and don't need this speed bump to slow you down. These elders do not have your best interests at heart and only want to hurt you. Put them in your rearview mirror and keep them there.
Quendi
i read about them here, on the board.
i am so thankful that i choose not to go anymore..
I also am glad to have purged Witness meetings of any size, shape or form from my life. While I was a Witness, the assemblies and conventions were good ways of getting together with friends I had not seen in a while. I also enjoyed some of the releases from those years. Now I can only think of them as a colossal waste of time, effort and money. One curious thing about them I remember was how glad we would be to learn that our conventions in Denver were held in June. That was because an early convention meant there would be plenty of time for camping, hiking, fishing and other outdoor activities in Colorado's mountains. June was too early for that kind of stuff as snow and mud still covered much of the high country. July and August, by contrast, had great weather which gave many more recreational opportunities. That said a lot about our "spiritual" priorities!
Quendi
