(or why god is a behaviourist) .
many well-meaning persons believe that the ideal state of love and relationship between two persons is one that is unconditional.
this is simply referred to as unconditional love and what is meant by a person subscribing to this belief is simply that: no conditions are attached to my loving you wholly.
I love it, Amazing, you are amazing!
LOL I am Rolling around on the floor laughing! That is great. I think maybe we all define Love in the way that we feel about ourselves, and everyone else gets that overlayed on them by us. Our capacity to leap beyond the logical limits that anyone would place upon us is Amazing. Maybe Unconditional Love is simply a choice!
i have seen this talked about many times and on many xjw boards but never really hit on the reason i have searched so fervently for it.. why do i expect to find "unconditional love" in my relationships.. well the answer has smacked me in the face.
normal people, that is non jw associates, normally get this kind of love from thier parents.
the parent child bond is the closest thing to unconditional love that i have ever felt, i have kids and i know this.
Thanks, you guys are great!
(((Hugs))) to you all,
DaveL
the manageable human.
disassembling personal boundaries.
disassembling personal boundaries clears the way for abusive behavior.
garybuss,
That was a most excellent post!
i have seen this talked about many times and on many xjw boards but never really hit on the reason i have searched so fervently for it.. why do i expect to find "unconditional love" in my relationships.. well the answer has smacked me in the face.
normal people, that is non jw associates, normally get this kind of love from thier parents.
the parent child bond is the closest thing to unconditional love that i have ever felt, i have kids and i know this.
I have seen this talked about many times and on many XJW boards but never really hit on the reason I have searched so fervently for it.
Why do I expect to find "unconditional love" in my relationships.
Well the answer has smacked me in the face. Normal people, that is non JW associates, normally get this kind of love from thier parents. The parent child bond is the closest thing to unconditional love that I have ever felt, I have kids and I know this. In the JW Org however it is superceeded by Congregational law and rules of apearance. We XJW's are so void of this kind of love from our parents that we spend much of the rest of our lives searching for it in our relationships.
A good friend pointed this out to me the other day and said "You XJWs need to quit expecting your spouses to love you as a mother, unconditionally, you are all out of balance and warped." "No one can give you this kind of love but your mommy!"
Then I noticed how I try to overlay this same kind of unconditional love over everyone I know and even strangers. I seem to have this vision of a perfect world full of people who freely love one another and accept others as they are without judgment. Holy shit am I still manifesting JW programming? Should I only love my kids unconditionally? Why can't I have a relationship without boundaries? Guess I am still pretty sick!
Well my bubble has been popped now and I am wondering why I post on these boards, to get some kind of connection with all you that is probably totally unrealistic, and share some measure of unconditional non-judgemental love, which is deterring me from the truth. I will never recieve unconditional love from anyone except myself! Boundaries are healthy (I really hate this one I detest it) I so don't want any boundaries in my relationships.
do you laugh more often or cry more often?.
joannadandy's question kind of brought out the idea that both crying and laughing seem to bring out a release of emotions.
a really funny joke can make us laugh so hard that we end up crying.
Dave is that you?
Yes I have been reading a lot about the Hypno stuff, I have been through a lot of this material before though. Never do it while you drive, however in Karate "Sanchin" is a meditation to perfect this art, moving meditation allows the deeper states of awareness ie hypnosis during an activity where the activity and you become one. Like we say in the telephone industry, it's all FM "fucking magic". What you need to try DaveM is an expierence which happens outside your head...LOL and finially realize that you exist there too. Did you get my message?
Helen is that you?
you know i was very content to just sit back on my dark throne of fire and let everything fall into place but jesus christ had to come along and mess things up for me.. i saw his post about how the jehovahs witnesses are not affiliated with him and god and yes it is true they are right.
for the record the group known as jehovahs witnesses are under my command and do my bidding.
as you well know they use fear to convert their members.
You said about the JW's-
"that I am very happy with how they are progressing"
For the record could you please explain how you could possible be happy about anything. I didn't think there was anything good in you at all, let alone a happy emotion. So I believe that you are possibly a fraud at this Devil impersonation stuff! Either that or you really are a mix of good and bad just like everyone else but don't want that to get out. Well good luck in the future anyway, hope things work out for you, but if you believe in God and Jesus as you state then things don't look so great for you, but thats OK don't get too depressed that you will be spending all that time in the lake of fire.
Best wishes, Love and hugs,
ME
If you are going to walk through hell, then take the Light of God with you to illuminate the way! LOL!
Edited by - libra_spirit on 23 July 2002 20:42:34
do you laugh more often or cry more often?.
joannadandy's question kind of brought out the idea that both crying and laughing seem to bring out a release of emotions.
a really funny joke can make us laugh so hard that we end up crying.
Do you laugh more often or cry more often?
joannadandy's question kind of brought out the idea that both crying and laughing seem to bring out a release of emotions. A really funny joke can make us laugh so hard that we end up crying. I know that for me there is this choice somewhere at my heart center where for a moment it can go either way.............sound kind of strange but there it is......both will provide a release although I must say I do enjoy a good laugh.
Lately I have been doing more laughing then crying, especially with all the humor that has been going around over on the EX-JW Support Board. But I am truly curious how many out there may be crying more then laughing to get the same emotional release.
.
so what do you do when someone makes you cry?do you let them see?do you pretend you have something in your eye?do you change the subject/blow it off?do you have it out right then and there?do you never speak to them again?do you try and make them cry?
This is a really vague question, there are a million reasons to cry, I am assuming they are intending you harm or pain. It may also be they are not. Crying is a very good emotional release when you are hurting, some people can not cry, they will just hold it inside and let the stress build up. Others are very good at feeling thier emotions and cry easily. I usually see no need to send out the desire for someone to cry just because I have cried. Crying is dealing with yourself and has little to do with anyone else.
The real issue may be, if someone intends me harm how do I deal with it? Do I strike out with a vengence, do I ignor them, do I roll over and do thier tricks, do I cry....... take a self defense class or try a couple years of karate and all this will change for you. How you react to attacks from others is all about learning your options. Attacks and reactions can be physical or emotional or both. Most JW's are ill equipped to deal with attacks because they have only been taught one option, roll over and become invisible, turn away and hide, submit to the greater force, and have no self confidence. Then cry in fear until you get over the pain. There are many options to deal with others who intend you harm, as you develop more self respect and a love of yourself as a good and worthy person, you will be less likely to cry over attacks from others because you will not allow them to harm you. Thier viewpoints just don't matter that much anymore to you, and you will find others to share your life with who respect you more and reflect your values back to you.
If someone is crying I usually am moved to hug or hold them, when I cry I don't try to hide it. The tears will stream down my face and who ever chooses to look is welcome to, I have learned that it is alright to cry. Feel, deal, and heal.
Edited by - libra_spirit on 23 July 2002 19:49:26
if one wanted to be creative in disassociating one's-self..just how would you love to do it?
i think it would be a riot to hire a few stripping telegram singers to sing my letter instead of having it read from the platform..
anyone else?
I liked Mums' idea best but instead of your worldy friends use a bunch of us apostates from another area. We will all go to the Kingdumb hall on Sunday and during the watchtower we will all start to raise our hands and raise some really interesting questions....very sincere ones indeed. Then at the end when the group gathers for the love bombing go with Mums' awesome idea and everyone hands out the letter of Dissassociation to them all complete with warm hugs and smiles, then we all leave together (((hugging))) one another and rejoicing in your liberation. In the lifting of the heavy yoke they have hung around your neck.
This will show them that first of all there is Love on the outside of the Org, and secondly that you have no fear of them anymore and no fear of the Org. It will be them who find themselves in fear, gazing at the ground, and maybe a few of them will actually get it. It should be very obvious to them as we leave who is carrying the Joy and the Love and who is held by the weight and the fear. God I would like to see what happenes in there after we have left, probably get so quiet you could hear a pin drop as people start to realize what just happened....and go into shock ...LOL
Edited by - libra_spirit on 23 July 2002 18:33:31
.
do you think that, if say you fell over and and seriously injured yourself in the street, would a jw you knew passing by help you knowing that you were disfellowshipped or so called apostate.
maybe even come to see you at home if you were unwell or depressed,i mean how many witnesses have assisted or helped you when you needed it mostly,you see i thought they were supposed to encourage you to become so called spiritually stronger.but saying that when you were active as a jw do you think you were helped in times of distress or illness by your fellow jw,for instance i know a woman who's still a witness but hasnt been to meetings for say a year and thats because she has severe athritis and guess what only 1 j-dub has wrote to her so to her it seems like if your not a regular at meeting you may as well be classed as disfellowshipped.
No way, none of them would want to be seen with you, they would be afraid of how it might look to others. They might be accused of associating with you. If spotted, at the very least, it would be "accusation by gossip" and would probably lead to personal shunning for them if not all out Disfellowshipping for them by the elders. Outward apearance is more important to them then any truth that would be happening at the time. How could they see your real needs, when all they are allowed to see is your judgment, they are too filled with fear to show love.
