Posts by LyinEyes

76

Update: Last Nights Meeting

by FadingELD in

first of all i would like to think everyone for the support i recieved yesterday.

i would also like to shed some light on my past, hopefully this does not give it away as to who i might be.

my wife and i were both raised as jw, we were both baptized when were fifteen years old.

LyinEyes

Fading........I was just like your wife when my elder hubby told me he was having doubts and showed me some things on the internet.

I freakin' flipped out!!! I accused him of bringing demons in our home, I threw things all over the place. I was a mess. I was so angry and sickened by what he said. I was an elder's daughter , raised JW, and would have rather poked my eyes out with hot pokers than to ever , ever imagine leaving my Jehovah.

After he told me , a few days later, I just realized I had to find out what hit him so hard.........what made him doubt, I looked more into it because I knew, he had always lead me in the right way. I knew he loved me and our family too much to just be going thru some minor doubts,(he always had a few) whatever he found out must be MAJOR.

I can't even remember all the things that I read ,, but he first showed me the WT own words, in print that shocked me. Then I read a little more and then some more. It still took me some time, and it took him some time before we decide to walk away. We disassociated ourselves and continued our journey of open minds.

It has not be easy,,,,,,,especially for me because I really delt with some factors that were intertwined with my elder father and my faith. I had so many dreams of losing my religion and it was a painful death. I still hurt over losing my religion. But, I can't go back even thou I miss some things about it, mainly the people and the blind faith of belieivng in the resurrection..I miss that belief most of all.

It also took my hubby and me a while to learn to deal with each other, to connect with each other without the "truth" in common. We did it thou and we made it throu some hard times doing so.

I hope you are gentle with your wife, she may in time listen to you and you can help save her too.

Best wishes to your family...............Dede

20

Hello to all of my friends, it's been awhile....

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

hey everyone!!!

it has been awhile since i have posted here at jwd.

life has been an adjustment these last two years.

LyinEyes

I am so glad to hear from each and everyone of you!! I am finally coming around to getting back to some of the things I used to love, grieving and healing and just adjusting to life after my sister was an adjustment . I have missed talking to others and I wonder how many new ones are leaving the WT and are in the same place I was a few years ago, just leaving WT.

I have thought of posting many times, just to tell new ones who are hurting, who are confused, about the whole JW thing, that life is wonderful, it is real and it is worth the pain that you feel at first when you decide to walk away from it all. You have to go thru the pain to get to where you want to be. But , it will not hurt forever. In this case I think time , does help heal.

My kids are well adjusted , the two younger ones, don't remember much about being a JW, and they are beautifully independant free thinkers. When they get mouthy with me , have purple or pink hair , saggin' pants etc. etc. I remember how I was never allowed to express myself and I smile, because they can.

My oldest son has more memories of JW , he was 15 or so when we left . He was able to play high school football, date a few girls before his steady one now, dances, all the fun country boy things they get to do on these red dirt roads. I am sure I only know about some of the stuff he has done!!!!! Now he is 20 and has settled down a bit , he is a rock to me when his Dad is working out of town.

I still have dreams of the JW days, I still miss the ones who will no longer speak to me . Sometimes when I dream of being at the KH , I realise that I no longer belong there, and I walk away ok with my decision. I used to dream that I wanted to go back, I would feel so lost and sad. Now those dreams are alot less and the lost feeling is gone. Some things in life, you live thru, you move on but there will always be saddness with these kinds of things. And I have just learned to live with that and to put it in perspective of all the good things I have now.

I hope to stay around a little bit , catch up on what everyone is up to, and I hope to reply back to each of you as I have time to get to my turn at the computer.

20

Hello to all of my friends, it's been awhile....

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

hey everyone!!!

it has been awhile since i have posted here at jwd.

life has been an adjustment these last two years.

LyinEyes

Hey everyone!!! It has been awhile since I have posted here at JWD. Life has been an adjustment these last two years. Learning to live without my sister has been hard. I used to write all the time, I used to post here all the time, expressing myself was never a problem. Actually , trying to write this post is much more of a challenge than it used to be. I guess that is why I havent been around , I just lost that part of myself, the part of myself that loved to talk, share , laugh and cry with everyone here on JWD.

I have thought of so many of you , wondering how your lives have been. I just wanted ya'll to know that.

Wild Turkey and I, the kids too, are all doing really well, life is full and wonderful, you know ups and downs, but I am glad to be here living my life, and consider myself blessed.

So how are all of ya'll,???? catch me up on how you have been doing,

Hugs and much love , and hope to hear from some dear old friends,,,,,,,,,Dede

53

The Funeral

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

as you all know my brother was buried yesterday.

he was 33......... he did this ..........17 years after his father commited suicide.

the funeral took place at the funeral home.......a witness elder did the funeral.....my brother is not a witness, but my mother is.

LyinEyes

Ian, that is so true....and Purple, I think my sister wanted to be with my Mother too. She only accepted that my Mother did indeed committed suicide about a year ago. I came to terms with that 18 years ago but she just didnt want to believe it.

I will never get over my mother and my sister's suicides, ever , but ....... I am like you I try to go on, be the best I can be and cherish my family as deeply as I can.

I wasnt so angry when my sister killed herself as when my Mother did, because I learned alot , reading about suicide, from those who tried but did not succeed. It kind of helped me understand , the best way that one can, of why my sister chose the path she took. She was just tired I think , and had a really bad weekend, add to that the JW cult upbringing, our home life, abusive hubby, etc. etc. and well, she was just tired.

I miss Ginger so much , I still breakdown and cry a few times a week, and usually it is when I hear a certain song.

Ones that make me think of my sister are: "I miss you a little " , by John Michael Montgomery,,,,,,,,,,,"Angel Flying too close the ground" by Willie Nelson, "Tonite I want to cry" Keith Urban, " Who'd you be today" by Kenny Chesney, just to name a few.

((((((((((((((((( Purple )))))))))))))))) my thoughts are with you . Call me anytime day or night, I sent my number to you PM, I know you need time , but when you are ready call, love ya Dede.

53

The Funeral

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

as you all know my brother was buried yesterday.

he was 33......... he did this ..........17 years after his father commited suicide.

the funeral took place at the funeral home.......a witness elder did the funeral.....my brother is not a witness, but my mother is.

LyinEyes

15

Does it hurt you when they cry?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i talked to my dad yesterday , i had some thing to tell him about my sister's death, things i found out at the police station.

well, anyway......he told me that what keeps him going is knowing that he will see ginger really soon.

he told me he didnt mean to preach to me but he loves me and wants us all to make it thru the big a, so we can all be together as a family once again, including my mom and my sister who have passed away.. he told me we have to live for our kids,,,,,and help them thru this old system.

LyinEyes

I talked to my Dad yesterday , I had some thing to tell him about my sister's death, things I found out at the police station. Well, anyway......he told me that what keeps him going is knowing that he will see Ginger really soon.

He told me he didnt mean to preach to me but he loves me and wants us all to make it thru the Big A, so we can all be together as a family once again, including my Mom and my sister who have passed away.

He told me we have to live for our kids,,,,,and help them thru this old system. He told me is is so sure it is only a matter of short time that the end will be here.

He even told me how they read a letter to make evacuation plans on a book study level, if something should happen,,,,,including any kind of disaster. He didnt say they said it was Armegeddon evacuation plans but that is what he implied as well.

He didnt really cry as he talked to me, but I could hear the pain in his voice and him choaking back tears. It hurt. Even now, when I know what I know about JW, I will never go back, do not believe it to be true, etc. etc.it hurts me to hear him so helples, knowing that right now he can not make me go back.

I just remember when I was in and I dealt with disfellowshipped friends or family, how much I begged them to come back, how much it hurt that they left "the truth". I have told him I am not going back but he still practicially begs me to come back. I don't know , just venting because it hurts and I know we will never have the relationship we both want because of the JW religion.

125

FRESH OFF THE PRESS.... 9/1/06 WT "When a Loved One Leaves Jeh."

by schne_belly in

.

this just in for your reading displeasure......enjoy

.

LyinEyes

Lately I have been once again thinking of the WTBS hand in the deaths by suicide of my Mother and Sister. Twenty years ago , my Mother was distraught over " letting Jehovah down", feeling like there was no hope of forgiveness for her "sins". Those "sins" she felt so guilty about were her prescription drug abuse problem and so shamed for being disfellowshipped that I am sure that is part of why she ended her life. The elders didnt even try to go and talk with her, she got a cold letter in the mail informing her.

I don't blame them entirely of course because each person makes their choices, but I have to acknowledge the burdens being a JW puts on the mind and soul.

Fast forward to 7 months ago when my sister killed herself,,,,,,,three weeks earlier she tried to call my Dad to wish him and his wife a happy anniversary. He never called her back and that hurt her even thou she figured he might not call. She had lunch with him about a year ago, so she thought he might call her back. She too was disfellowshipped .

Now my Dad will feel the pain of ignoring her, wondering if he would have called , maybe he could have helped her.

The JW's are a cult a sick cult that has blood on their hands if you ask me. People who do not realise the mind control of that organization, or the impact of what growing up JW does to a person's mind, needs to look deep into why most JW's are severely depressed people. Being a JW , especially growing up as one cheats a person out of normal personality development.

Shame on JW's for the consequences of their ignorant rules of shunning. Shame , shame.

125

FRESH OFF THE PRESS.... 9/1/06 WT "When a Loved One Leaves Jeh."

by schne_belly in

.

this just in for your reading displeasure......enjoy

.

LyinEyes

Reading that made me feel so sad. I know my Dad is thinking that is just what he needed in dealing with me.

When my sister passed away 7 months ago, he was there, but I knew my time was limited with him. The phone calls became less frequent when he saw I was not going back to Jah. Nor did I give him any hope. I told him I didnt even know if I believe in God anymore.

I am sure that his new family are reading that article and thinking of me......and my name is Delores. That was kind of weird, spelt the same way too. Daddy probably thinks it a sign. It's so sad.

73

Goodbye all

by mouthy in

jw
friends

yes i am quitting the forum ,,, i cant keep up with you all.

i cant remember whos who, so very happy that we have many many new ones,,,, .

let me tell you i love you all ...i have been so respected by you all & shown much unconditional love..... i know many have my home e-mail..... so if any want to - they know what to do.. i have been on here a long time.... gus,gus ( my wonderful daughter still posts on occasions.

LyinEyes

Mouthy I hope I catch you before you go. I understand that life gets so full and wonderful that it is hard to keep up on the board. And that is a good thing I think. Just remember that you have inspired and helped so many people here , including myself. I love your spirt and you attitude to life. I just wish you were my real Granny, or Mom, you have such a young spirt to be a Granny!!

Please do check in from time to time,,,,,,,,,,,,hugs and will miss you, Dede

53

MERRYS MOTHER HAS DIED

by tijkmo in

.

merrymagdelene is back home and agreed to me letting you know that her mother died on friday morning...understandably she doesnt feel much like posting at the moment..but will let us know her feelings as soon as she is able...the memorial service will be held on the 29th... (((((merry))))))

LyinEyes

((((((( Merry ))))))) I am so sorry.