EmptyInside:
Here are some hopefully insightful thoughts.
I find it interesting that the parents are seeking their son's forgiveness. Then they must have realized how they messed up!
As a survivor of very selfish, NON-JW, highly physically abusive, and totally non-insightful, stupid parents, I can only say what many have heard before on a variety of topics: you have to have experienced s.t. personally in order to understand fully the dynamics going on. When I was a very active pioneer, I studied with one strange couple who overly disciplined their little boy. Once while we were all out in service, the new bro. (or bro.-to-be, I can't remember if he was baptised yet) unjustly smacked the boy in public. When the father looked away, the boy gave him a look that just caused my own childhood memories to come flooding back. This lil guy was feeling EXACTLY how I did growing up. It was so emotional for me that I have to excuse myself (and I'm not a particularly emotional guy). That look on the boy's face spoke the volumes/years of frustration that I remembered feelilng at his age and for years afterward.
Three things I hope to convey by relating this:
-it's not just JWs who overly discipline their kids and then, when the PARENTS have grown up and finally matured, regret their past behavior. But in many ways, it's far too late. The damage cannot be undone. It's a human problem in (hopefully now somewhat past) western culture and it's a generational thing. Don't just blame JWs. My parents were never religious at all, just red-necked, conservative, uneducated lost souls. I might add that this was quite normal in the working class neighbourhood I grew up in—all non-JW families.
-in the end the parents must pay too, not just the victims. One sister of mine won't speak to one brother; my mother is given token attention by all her children now in her old age—no real love. She's reaped what she sowed. When my alcoholic father was dying of lung cancer from all his stupid smoking, mom got less than full support from all her chilldren. Two of us, more morally motivated types, gave her some support, but the lack of that from others, along with the lack of a truly loving home life from childhood, tore the famly even further apart.
-don't judge the victim! I realize that many here don't even believe in God any more or have much respect for the Bible, but for those of us who still do, consider this: is it not interesting that nowhere in scripture does it tell children in particular to love their parents? Instead it says to honor them. There's a real difference here. Do you have any idea how harsh people in biblical itmes must have been on their kids? Think aobut that! Do you really suppose that 'modern' thinking prevailed then? If so, WAKE UP! Throughout childhood I was an atheist, turned believer in my young 20s, turned JW later, turned fader after that, and it took a lot for me to come to terms with the way my 'worldly' parents had raised me, what the Bible says about forgiveness, etc. In the end, I figured that, given what the scriptures said, I was under obligation to honor, not love them—but nonetheless to forgive them. Each victim of such an upbringing must come to terms individually. If this young adult here, now a parent himself, must work out all his feelings and the various dynamics involved, including scriptural principles, then GIVE THE GUY A BREAK! Let him do so at his own pace.
My two cents' worth. . .