Posts by Mum

16

What,s a dysfunctional family in your opinion???

by jam in

just recently a family i know well (non-jw) big problems.. i thought my family (my ex and my kids) and other jw family.

members were dysfunctional but no comparison to this family.. i have known families that became jw,s, their famliy were.

dysfunctional but in a strange way their family became strong.. my thought , if you have one child that goes amok that ,s not.

Mum

Once I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio. A caller started her statement with, "I come from a dysfunctional family . . ." at which point Dr. Laura interrupted and said, "Shw me one that isn't! What can I help you with today?"

I don't know how a cult family can be anything but dysfunctional, as the parents have very narrow guidelines as to what their children "should" do with their lives. Being reared in a cult messes people up. That is the result of dysfunction: messed-up human beings without goals or direction.

Unfortunately, when people grow up in a family where they are not supported or counted as worthwhile, they can't "just get over it" without significant help. They are habituated into thinking in certain patterns and have to overcome it. Realizing that you are an adult and the fact that your sister is the parents' "favorite" is no longer relevant.

At some point, we have to take charge of our own lives and put the dysfunction behind us. Thank God we have professional therapists on this board and with AAWA to help with that.

6

Lessons From Jonestown

by Bangalore in

lessons from jonestownthe mass suicide of people's temple followers 25 years ago teaches psychologists what happens when social psychology is placed in the wrong hands.. .

http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/jonestown.aspx.

bangalore.

Mum

When the Jonestown massacre happened, I was still a dub. I must admit that it hit me hard because I had been convinced that blind obedience was "right" and was going to save me.

Shortly after the Jonestown mass suicide, there was an article in the Watchtower or Awake! about the need to have a strong mind and not to be a blind follower. That set up some cognitive dissonance! More Watchtower doublespeak, that's all.

Anyway, the poor, doomed People's Temple folks had no choice. Jones killed the children first, so the adults would not want to live anyway. He would accept no reasoning on the subject. One old lady survived because she hid under her bed. Some others were able to run into the jungle and get away.

The lesson is that we don't join religious groups with paranoia about the rest of the world, regardless of the "good" they are doing for the community. Jones' isolation of his followers is one of the characteristics of an abuser. They isolate the victim(s) from, their support system so they have nowhere to turn for help.

5

JW 'Scriptural Divorce' -v- Muslim 'Sharia Divorce'

by Joe Grundy in

i just read this bbc article about sharia divorce in cases of domestic violence:.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22044724.

the issues raised seemed very similar to me to what jws teach about 'scriptural divorce' in these circumstances.. misogynistic (of course), dangerous and despicable..

Mum

My friend used to volunteer with a domestic abuse women's shelter. She told me that she felt most sorry for the Muslim women and the Catholic women because they were consistently re-victimized by their respective religions.

The City Attorney where I lived at the time made domestic violence her number one priority. I think most municipalities or counties now have victim advoates to help women get counseling, medical treatment, education, or whatever resources they need to get out of the situation. Many women have been helped by these advocates. If the victim will not press charges (and, believe it or not, many victims defend the perpetrator), the police can do it insteat.

Sadly, too many women have been brought up to believe men are acting "normally" when they abuse women and children. Others seem to have some kind of persecution/martyr complex that makes them accept abuse.

The secular authorities have to take charge of this issue. Apparently, most religious authorities will not, because they're still the "good ol' boy" network.

34

Immoral sleeping arrangement?

by hoser in

jw
friends

i'm reading through the watchtower rule book right now and i came to the chapter clarification and guidelines on handling certain matters.

there is a part about scriptural divorce and even if adultery is not proved if your ex stayed all night or is involved in an immoral sleeping arrangement you can get scriptural grounds to remarry.. .

they make a rule, then they have to make a rule for the rule, make another rule for the rule for the rule.

Mum

I know people who sleep with their dogs.

9

A Test of my Principles

by fulltimestudent in

jw
friends

yesterday, a friend i'd helped with a problem at university came to see me.

he wanted to thank me for that help, and gave me a beautifully carved image of the boddhisattva guan yin for me to wear around my neck.. i like the buddhist guan yin story.

as a story of sacrifice and compassion it beats the similar jesus myth hands down.

Mum

If you have negative feelings about the gift, explain them to your friend and ask him/her if he/she wants the gift back.

Throwing it away would only add insult to injury. It's this way: I own a fur coat, Throwing it away would not help the animal that it was made from. At least in its present form it's useful and beautiful. I bought it used, so I did not participate in the purchase of new fur. If I threw the coat away, it would not change a thing that has already happened.

Keep the gift and treasure it, or give it back. IMHO.

12

Young people growing up as Jehovah's Witnesses

by socstu in

it's been a while since i've posted on here, but the last time i did i was looking for young people to take part in my dissertation research.

well that was a whole year ago now and i can tell you i was very happy and relieved to have received a first class on the paper.. i've subsequently just wrote a blog post on the topic.

it's not a copy of my dissertation, but more of a musing which is very much informed by all my interviews.. anyway i hope you find it somewhat interesting:.

Mum

Congratulations! And bless you for giving those kids an opportunity to express themselves freely.

7

Of Jailing Americans, the Criminalization of Poverty,Traffic Tickets, Medical bills and Court fees.

by Scott77 in

"...rather, they reflect a justice system that in effect criminalizes poverty.

"it's a growing problem nationally, particularly because of the economic crisis," said inimai chettiar, director of the justice program at new york university school of law's brennan center for justice..." http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505143_162-57577994/as-economy-flails-debtors-prisons-thrive/ i thought of this one with regard to the watchtower andhow it indirectly encourages poverty amoung jehovah's witnesses.

thousands of americans aebeing jailed for failure to pay medical bills and other.

Mum

When I was young, one could be arrested for vagrancy, but I think that is no longer the case.

We who have a support system and/or a caring family forget how lucky we are. Most Americans are a paycheck or two away from the street.

7

My Psychiatrist

by Mum in

so, i went to see my psychiatrist the other day.

she asked me, "does anyone in your family suffer from mental illness?".

i replied, "no, actually we all enjoy it!

Mum

So, I went to see my psychiatrist the other day. She asked me, "Does anyone in your family suffer from mental illness?"

I replied, "No, actually we all enjoy it!"

18

how do you cope with the stress of fading?

by brainmelt in

jw
friends

i'm really struggling with it.

i've been learning the ttatt for the past 6 months now and i've been inadvertantly fading - either one of us or the children have had coughs/colds/flu/chicken pox/stress over the past 3 months which has meant we've missed a lot of meetings and field service with good reason.

we've only been out in service twice this year, so far no ones mentioned it to us but i'm waiting for our group overseer to bring it up anytime soon.

Mum

You may need the services of a professional at some point. I know it makes you crazy, not because of what you're doing or not doing, but from all of the pressure and hounding you get.

Personally, I moved to the other end of the country, and that made it so much easier.

PM me if you need to vent.

Regards,

SandraC

82

Will AAWA Become another cult?

by His Excellency in

please sorry for english, i have only been learning for 18 months.

everyone please think about it, and beware of any initiative designed to solve "a community problem".

becasue russel also started his own cult on a similar premise like this , claiming to have all the answers to issues whose solutions seems obscured to the majority in his days, and here we are today, constantly bashing our fingers on the keyboard in a bid to finding comfort from the mess he had put all of us into.

Mum

When I was in college, I remember my Amerian History professor telling us that charities (which I consider AAWA to be, at least in part) end up like government agencies, steeped in bureaucracy and rules, and rarely helping anyone.

My daughter found an essay once that stated that all organizations should set a date to dissolve at the outset because organizations which start out with noble aims at some point become focused on keeping the organization going and lose sight of the ideals they started with.

With the above caveats in mind, I hope AAWS won't fall into either of those organizational traps. At this point, I have full faith in their mission and ideals. If they get to the point that they have reached their goals, then I hope they will make a decision to dissolve. I don't think anyone is participating out of greed or to get attention or be prominent in the ex-JW community, but if they are, I hope they will be dealt with. I believe the AAWA intends to be democratic, and anyone can have their say and bring it to the attention of the membership or directors if anyone is behaving in a manner inconsistent with its ideals.

It is too early in the process to start worrying. It is better to see what happens before warning that "the sky is falling."

Pressure needs to be applied to the GB to allow JW's to have normal lives. AAWA was started to do that. We can now also present a "united front." The difference is that we tolerate dissent and have no Thought Police.

So off we go . . .

P.S. I am having trouble downloading the volunteer form. I would like to be a writer/editor and presenter. I am going to get help from family members and submit my volunteer application ASAP.