Mum

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Posts by Mum

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  80

  The official list of things for which you may be disfellowshipped

  by slimboyfat in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  from the secret elders' book which states that the list "of course" is "not comprehensive".

  nevertheless here are the acts that they deem worthy of specifying as being possible grounds for chucking people out:.

  murdermanslaughter such as killing someone while breaking traffic lawsattempting suicidesexual intercourse with someone other than your spouseanal sex with someone other than your spouseoral sex with someone other than your spousesexual stimulation of the genitals of someone other than your spousedelay in reporting a rape?

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  Mum

  Obviously, there are exceptions. Some sinners are more deserving of DFing than others, i.e., those the elders don't like.

  "Thou shalt not question organizational arrangements." Peteronomy 66:6
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  37

  Bethel Brother's explanation to young mother as to WHY God would destroy children at armegeddon

  by Newly Enlightened in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  back when we were still active in the cong.

  we became friends with a young couple with 2 small kids.

  they were newly baptized and wanting a better future for their kids.

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  Mum

  The young mother probably was expecting an insightful, Biblical response, not a dismissal of every human being born to the "wrong" sort of parents. In fact, I have seen horrible, abusive parents have marvelous children and vice versa.

  Did any of you see the frormer prisoner / escapee from North Korea on 60 Minutes a couple of months ago? He was the third generation of his family to be imprisoned because of something his grandfather allegedly did.

  So, the JW's apparently live by the same philosophy as the North Koreans. What does it have to do with the Bible?
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  10

  Foot in mouth again - sigh

  by new22day in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  my ex bf, newly reinstated jw, was texting me that his 75 year old parents (uber dubs) are giving him grief about taking on some debt to buy a new truck to invest in his new job.

  they thought he should just resume his old window cleaning biz.

  so i told him just to tell them not to worry about the debt since it will be wiped clean in the new system, which is right around the corner.. whoops -- i thought i was being clever but apparently my comment offended him.

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  Mum

  Ooooops! You said Ex-boyfriend. I apologize for going off on you.
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  10

  Foot in mouth again - sigh

  by new22day in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  my ex bf, newly reinstated jw, was texting me that his 75 year old parents (uber dubs) are giving him grief about taking on some debt to buy a new truck to invest in his new job.

  they thought he should just resume his old window cleaning biz.

  so i told him just to tell them not to worry about the debt since it will be wiped clean in the new system, which is right around the corner.. whoops -- i thought i was being clever but apparently my comment offended him.

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  Mum

  Get used to it. Are you sure you want a JW boyfriend? You're not going to marry him, are you? If you do marry him, don't have children!
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  6

  Honesty

  by Defianttruth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as part of my journey, i have realized i must heal myself.

  this has brought me to to the point where i am analyzing myself so i can improve.

  as i sit here looking into my soul, i can say, "i am not proud of what i see.".

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  Mum

  What you and Tater are going through is, IMHO, normal for someone in your situation. I remember the days before my escape from the cult. I was hit with the realization that I had bee a better person before becoming a JW. I had turned into a mean, judgmental, wretched human being. I remembered the days when people liked me for who I was, and I was not that person anymore.

  I recommend reading Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It tells you how to deal with negative emotions and can start you on the journey of thinking for yourself and no longer worrying about what others think of you. In my case, it gave me "permission" to break free of the things that were bringing me down. Much of the content of this book is what I consider common sense or common knowledge, but not to JW's.

  If you can't get medical treatment, reading some self-help books can be a good start.

  Can you move to another state? That's what finally got me free.
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  41

  Are you going to heaven?

  by compound complex in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  greetings:are you convinced (with all due humility, of course) of your future destination according to religious beliefs?

  perhaps you'd simply like to journey through outer space, but return eventually to our beautiful planet, earth .

  .

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  Mum

  Well, it's hard to figure out what to believe. I've had a couple of experiences that make me wonder what's real and what isn't.

  One night I dreamed there was a gathering of my dad's siblings. One of the sisters was in the middle of all the others with a big smile on her face. Her name is Marie, and she died over 50 years ago of cancer. (She was in her 30's at the time.) The next day, I got a 'phone call from my sister stating that the last living member of that group of siblings had died. It's almost like Marie was happy because they were all together again.

  Fast forward a few years: One night I was awoken from a sound sleep, not by noise but by a strong feeling that someone else was present. I could not see or hear anyone, but I felt very strongly that someone was in the room with me, and that this being was not happy. I don't know how to describe a feeling that someone else is present, but I assure you I felt it. I was very tense and could not relax. At any rate, I learned the next day that my cousin Ann had died that night. Ann and I had been apart for many years and were reconnecting by e-mail. She died shortly after having gastric bypass surgery.

  My mom had similar experiences that she told me about as well, involving different people from the ones I wrote about above. One of my mom's dreams was about Marie before she died, predicting her death.

  Oddly enough, my niece dreamed about Princess Diana the night Diana died. My niece said Diana was in a long, narrow "room" and was pleading that her children be taken care of. My niece woke up in the middle of the dream and got a drink of water. When she went back to sleep, Diana was stilll "there" pleading with her about her children. Why would my niece be one of those to get these signals from a Princess on the other side of the ocean?

  There are many mysteries. None of this has anything to do with heaven, but it might indicate that there is something more after we die.

  It's really scary for me to tell you guys this stuff, as I don't know how the dearly departed would feel about it. I also am putting myself in a position to have my sanity questioned.

  Oh, well. I am only reporting what happened.
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  16

  What,s a dysfunctional family in your opinion???

  by jam in

  1. social
  2. humour

  just recently a family i know well (non-jw) big problems.. i thought my family (my ex and my kids) and other jw family.

  members were dysfunctional but no comparison to this family.. i have known families that became jw,s, their famliy were.

  dysfunctional but in a strange way their family became strong.. my thought , if you have one child that goes amok that ,s not.

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  Mum

  Once I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio. A caller started her statement with, "I come from a dysfunctional family . . ." at which point Dr. Laura interrupted and said, "Shw me one that isn't! What can I help you with today?"

  I don't know how a cult family can be anything but dysfunctional, as the parents have very narrow guidelines as to what their children "should" do with their lives. Being reared in a cult messes people up. That is the result of dysfunction: messed-up human beings without goals or direction.

  Unfortunately, when people grow up in a family where they are not supported or counted as worthwhile, they can't "just get over it" without significant help. They are habituated into thinking in certain patterns and have to overcome it. Realizing that you are an adult and the fact that your sister is the parents' "favorite" is no longer relevant.

  At some point, we have to take charge of our own lives and put the dysfunction behind us. Thank God we have professional therapists on this board and with AAWA to help with that.
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  6

  Lessons From Jonestown

  by Bangalore in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  lessons from jonestownthe mass suicide of people's temple followers 25 years ago teaches psychologists what happens when social psychology is placed in the wrong hands.. .

  http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/jonestown.aspx.

  bangalore.

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  Mum

  When the Jonestown massacre happened, I was still a dub. I must admit that it hit me hard because I had been convinced that blind obedience was "right" and was going to save me.

  Shortly after the Jonestown mass suicide, there was an article in the Watchtower or Awake! about the need to have a strong mind and not to be a blind follower. That set up some cognitive dissonance! More Watchtower doublespeak, that's all.

  Anyway, the poor, doomed People's Temple folks had no choice. Jones killed the children first, so the adults would not want to live anyway. He would accept no reasoning on the subject. One old lady survived because she hid under her bed. Some others were able to run into the jungle and get away.

  The lesson is that we don't join religious groups with paranoia about the rest of the world, regardless of the "good" they are doing for the community. Jones' isolation of his followers is one of the characteristics of an abuser. They isolate the victim(s) from, their support system so they have nowhere to turn for help.
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  5

  JW 'Scriptural Divorce' -v- Muslim 'Sharia Divorce'

  by Joe Grundy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i just read this bbc article about sharia divorce in cases of domestic violence:.

  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22044724.

  the issues raised seemed very similar to me to what jws teach about 'scriptural divorce' in these circumstances.. misogynistic (of course), dangerous and despicable..

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  Mum

  My friend used to volunteer with a domestic abuse women's shelter. She told me that she felt most sorry for the Muslim women and the Catholic women because they were consistently re-victimized by their respective religions.

  The City Attorney where I lived at the time made domestic violence her number one priority. I think most municipalities or counties now have victim advoates to help women get counseling, medical treatment, education, or whatever resources they need to get out of the situation. Many women have been helped by these advocates. If the victim will not press charges (and, believe it or not, many victims defend the perpetrator), the police can do it insteat.

  Sadly, too many women have been brought up to believe men are acting "normally" when they abuse women and children. Others seem to have some kind of persecution/martyr complex that makes them accept abuse.

  The secular authorities have to take charge of this issue. Apparently, most religious authorities will not, because they're still the "good ol' boy" network.
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  34

  Immoral sleeping arrangement?

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm reading through the watchtower rule book right now and i came to the chapter clarification and guidelines on handling certain matters.

  there is a part about scriptural divorce and even if adultery is not proved if your ex stayed all night or is involved in an immoral sleeping arrangement you can get scriptural grounds to remarry.. .

  they make a rule, then they have to make a rule for the rule, make another rule for the rule for the rule.

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  Mum

  I know people who sleep with their dogs.