Mum

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Posts by Mum

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  6

  How many can relate?

  by nonjwspouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  Mum

  What Blondie said.
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  44

  Interesting experience while protesting at district conventions

  by theron ware in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for three weekends this summer, a friend and i protested outside district assemblies being held in the tucson convention center.

  our approach was very low key and completely non-confrontational: we just held our posters and smiled.

  this was our experience at the first two assemblies (for the third assembly, see the next paragraph).

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  Mum

  My way of protesting is to print labels listing apostate websites. When I see a Watchtower or Awake! left in public places, such as laundromats, I slap a label on the front of it. Sometimes I go into laundromats and other places just to see if there are any publications there.
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  14

  In your own words,,,,,,

  by label licker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please tell my thirty-six year old niece what you would tell all your loved ones if they were to go back to the cult because they wanted to see their loved ones again.. she was df'd at sixteen for being a teenager with an anxiety disorder, her dad had walked out on her and her family(2 other sisters) when they were young and never supported them or the mother.

  all of them had to live with their grandmother.

  after the last child left home, their father has their mother move back in with him.

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  Mum

  April, it is clear that you do not value yourself. What your father, then your mother, did to you is inexcusable. Don't judge yourself or treat yourself the way you do because of your parents. You are a wonderful person, and not like them.

  Please learn to value yourself enough not to let others take advantage of you. Marilyn French said that life rewards you for pleasure and punishes you for pain. You are a prime example of the latter part of that sentence. But you need to do something about it. What kind of life do you want? Do you even know? A counselor might be able to help you set goals for yourself, then steps to reach those goals.

  Are you prepared for the heavy burdens of being a JW again? Do you want to always be reading their self-aggrandizing literature? Do you want to obey, even if it hurts you or others, and makes no sense? Do you want to go in field service to try to convert others to a religion you don't even believe in? Do you want to be criticized for what you wear, what kind of entertainment you choose, who your friends are, and such nonsense. You have earned the right to make your own decisions and live in freedom. I hope you won't give up the freedom and potential you have to make a goode life for yourself.

  What do you like to do, or what would you like to learn? Knitting, ceramics, jogging, walking, great books, making jewelry? It's all there for you if you will give it to yourself. Visit the public library and find some books on subjects that interest you, or just some good books to read for pleasure. Listen to self-help and motivational tapes. When I was a JW, I was complaining to a friend about what my husband would not allow me to do. Her reply was one I'll never forget. She said, "Sometimes you have to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps." I realized then that I was an adult living as though I were still a child.

  You don't need anyone's permission to live your life your way. Decide what you want, and go after it!

  I recommend Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Your Erroneous Zones to get you started. He gives you reason to not worry about what others think of you and has strategies for coping with negative emotions.

  Best wishes for a happier life from here on out.
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  21

  Oh I thought JWs were just a "normal" religion

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have found that, since leaving jws, that few "wordly" people seem interested in hearing my escape story (although some certainly have shown great interest).

  when i've mentioned that i used to be a jw and that i left, the reaction i've gotten on more than one occasion is a "oh i thought they were just a normal religion", and not only that, it's like they just weren't at all even open to the idea that jws could be a really strange and cultish group.

  on these occasions, i felt a little lost for words trying to explain to people just how crazy jwism is, because there's so much crazy to tell about, where do you even start?.

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  Mum

  Up until the age of 9, I never heard anything good about JW's. My grandparents' generation called them "Hobeys" and had heard all sorts of unfavorable rumors about them. In the '50's, they were few and far between, but people knew they were crackpots.

  Fast forward to the new millenium. I told a co-worker I had been in a cult, and, of course, he asked which one. When I told him, he said, "They're not a cult. They're just weird." So I explained shunning, even within families, and letting children die when they needed a blood transfusion, and a few other gems. I think he changed his mind.

  One day I was talking to my boss about cults. He told me JW's were just people who took the Christmas cookies home and ate them in front of the fire instead of in the office with everyone else. I gave him the same lesson, but I'm not sure he got it, or even quite believed it. JW's are so into image that I think they got over on him.

  That's all I have to say about that. - Forrest Gump
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  31

  Effect of family life (me, wife and young boy) if I am df / da and wife zealous jw

  by Daniel1555 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a question and hope to hear some experiences of you who went or are going through this situation:.

  actually for several reasons (blood policy, disfellowshipping policy and some more) my conscience is telling me quite strongly, that i should not anymore be a part of that organization.. my wife and even elders know about my doubts (except blood policy).

  however i continue to join the meetings actually just to please my wife and to be together with our baby boy.

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  Mum

  For your child, you must show that you're happy and that you don't feel you have "lost" something. Be sure that, when he is with you, that you are happy and he is having a good time. Kids remember how they felt much more than what they're told or indoctrinated with.

  Your child will not be allowed to have "worldly" friends by his mom. That is where you come in. You need to plan fun activities for him and his friends at school, and/or children of your co-workers. If he is in elementary school, and you have the free time, it would be an excellent idea to volunteer as a room parent. Room parents (used to always be room mothers) plan holiday activities and go to school to supervise holiday parties and similar activities. If your wife objects to birthday parties, you could have "unbirthday" parties. We all have more "unbirthdays," so it gives you flexibility.

  Encourage your child to do well in school, and help with homework. It is important that the child feel secure and supported by you.

  As "head of the household," you have a distinct advantage. But, as jgnat pointed out, it is important to be loving, kind, and understanding with your wife. You once believed as she did, so you give her that freedom. If she needs a ride to the meeting or field service, give that to her.

  Nobody knows what will happen, but I think if you follow all of the advice you've been given here, you'll greatly increase your odds of keeping your family together.

  If you could move to another town or another state, that would take off a LOT of the tension of fading.

  Best wishes.
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  64

  What was YOUR wake-up call before you left the JW´s organization?

  by Mr Fool in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  what was your wake-up call(s) before you left the jw s organization?

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  Mum

  After being a lone JW in an "unbelieving" family, then marrying an elder, I was disillusioned at how things really worked. Even then, I still believed it was "the Truth." What really cut me loose was the fact that my mental health was fading fast and I had to get away. Then it took two years to realize they were not special.
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  19

  if you had a miraculous, unexplained escape from death..

  by nonjwspouse in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  plus you were not baptised but grew up in a jw family, stopped attending or studying for 30 years then attempted to go back for a couple years.

  the attempt had serious negative effects on your marriage, and personality, so you decided to stop all studies etc, for the time being ( over a year).

  but with the full intention to return later and be baptised.. this miraculous, unexplained escape from death was discovered to have occured during this time of complete detachment from studies etc.. what would you feel explained this escape?

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  Mum

  First and foremost, I'm glad you're both well and still together.

  When I was a JW, I don't recall things like this being a "sign" of anything. JW's are not great believers in "miracles." But, even as I say this, I do remember certain things attributed to "Jehovah," but not usually regarding the health of individuals. BUT, there was a story in the Watchtower back in the '70's about a toddler who needed a blood transfusion, but the child was kidnapped from the hospital by JW's and hidden in private homes. The story was that she did very well without the blood transfusion. I don't know now how much truth there was to the story, but I believed it without question at the time.

  Each individual attaches meaning to things in their own way, and it's hard to know what you would do in a given situation. I wish you both the best.
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  75

  the final fall of metaspy

  by metaspy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and so it goes....

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  Mum

  I'm glad you did what was necessary to get help. Thank God you're okay.

  Keep in touch.
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  85

  Most Awkward, Embarrassing, Comical things you Experienced as a Witness ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us i'm sure experienced embarrassing or comical moments as a witness.

  some things we'd rather just forget , i'm sure, but some things helped us think on our feet, quickly in helping others .

  here are a few of mine.

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  Mum

  When my daughter was about six years old, we attended an assembly in Cincinnati, Ohio. We had a sister staying with us in the room, and things were hectic getting ready to go to the stadium. My daughter was about 6 years old and accustomed to dressing herself, as I had a philosophy of teaching her to do for herself according to her capacity.

  Everything went fine. Everyone got a shower, got dressed, loaded up bookbags, and piled into the car.

  We got to Three Rivers Stadium, which was fairly new at the time, and I was happy a glad to be there.

  We were climbing steps to get to our seats, me holding my daughter's hand, while the sister accompanying us was walking behind us.

  Imagine my surprise when the sister told me that my daughter wasn't wearing any panties!
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  10

  Casting call for JW reality show...

  by Newly Enlightened in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i don't know if this is legit or not:.

  http://www.realitywanted.com/call/26136-casting-for-former-jehovahs-witnesses-for-new-docu-series#.uhyvdrtna1s.

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  Mum

  They only want people between the ages of 19 and 29. We geriatrics (over 30!) are not wanted. This is blatant age discrimination!