Almond, my friend, I don't know if you are a JW, or if only your wife is. Your post seems to indicate that only she is. If so, explain to her the benefits of being disfellowshipped! She is free to read, do, think, exercise free will, and just to live as a human being, without having to have permission. She is trying to be a "good girl," and needs to be reminded that she is not a child.
I agree with Honesty and others here who have told you that you do not owe the JW elders ANYTHING! They have set themselves up as "they who give or take away god's favor." It's just their imagination! Get over it!
Now, you and your wife go and enjoy the benefits of marriage, and be the only two in your marriage. Throw everyone else out, especially JW elders. Enjoy!