Ginny Tosken, who pops in once in a while.
Julie
Seeker
Cygnus
The "Norwegian Trinity" of JanH, Norm and Kent
All of the people above used to post on H2O as well. There are others, but I can't think of their handles just now.
Posts by Mum
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41Who do you Miss here on this forum
by JH insome of you are here on this forum since many months or even years.
you must have seen so many people here, and maybe lost a few friends that don't post here anymore.
who are the people that you miss the most that don't post enough or don't post anymore?
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Bethel pictures
by meadow77 inyears ago when i dated a jw who was accepted to bethel, it was explained to me that applicants had to submit a picture.
i never bothered to question this, or ask anybody at the time, but i've always wondered what the point of that was.
does anybody know?
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Mum
When my elder ex-husband was invited to the Pittsburgh Kingdom Ministry School, he was asked to submit a photo as well. We were trained not to think at all or question anything. So we bought a Polaroid camera for the sole purpose of taking a photo. He put on a suit and tie and I took the picture.
Maybe it was to see the race, overall appearance, or some other superficial means of "sizing up" the individual. I'll have to think about this some more...
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dating an exjw
by garfield ini have been dating an exjw for a while now ( he is a poster here, zanex) just lookin for any advice anyone might have.
i am a non-jw and the only thing that i know about jws are what he has told me and it is not a pretty picture.
he mentioned this board to me a while back so i thought i would check it out.
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Mum
garfield,
Welcome to the forum. Ex-JW's are at various stages of exit depending on several factors, such as how long they were JW's, whether they were born into the religion or converted, how much of their family is in, etc. I feel deeply for the ex-JW's who risk losing contact with their entire family if they leave. There are so many who just go through the motions in order to maintain some sort of contact with family members, a sad situation indeed.
It sounds as though zanex is blessed with many non-JW relatives, which will make things go much smoother for you. It can put a strain on a relationship when one of the families will not accept the choice made by their family member. I hope you don't get your feelings hurt easily. Please don't ever take anything personally if a JW says something hurtful. They think your eternal salvation and that of zanex is at stake because you have chosen not to belong to their organization. This kind of thinking is not conducive to healthy interaction.
I wish you both the best. You are wise to come here and get the perspective of the people who post here. We have had varied experiences and come from many different places and walks of life. It helps to learn what others see from where they're standing.
Regards,
SandraC
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Why did you become a Witness?
by JH inwhy did you become a jehovah witness ?
was it your parents who dragged you into it, or was it a friend, or maybe just a knock on your door from a stranger?
with all the religions out there, why did you choose that one?
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Mum
I was a teenager, and I had some strange notions at the time. I liked the certainty and the glib explanations for everything, i.e., pat answers, cut and dried, no thought necessary.
After I got involved, I was shocked to learn that I could no longer associate with my friends I had before I was a JW. But I was the kind of person who doubted myself and always believed the other person knew better than I did what was right for me. A fool such as I and a high control group were meant for each other.
Besides that, I got to go to New York to a big assembly. Such a poverty of existence did I have in my teen years that becoming a JW actually opened up the world in certain ways. Years later, of course, it became quite the opposite, with the JW life and mindset keeping me from achieving even a small part of my human potential.
I'm glad I threw myself into the JW thing completely. By getting to be a JW insider, I was able to see the corruption and hate that emanates from the core. As a young person with no other family members "in the truth," I was much better able to believe in the "love" they told me they had (but took away for the most arbitrary of reasons).
Regards,
SandraC
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31
Poll:
by Monster in.
how many of you hold to some of the beliefs jws taught, and what are they?
peace james
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Mum
I agree with the poster (forgot who it was) who said that living by certain moral precepts, which is common to all religions, is a belief I hold. I believe imperfection is inevitable; I can't conceive of a "perfect" world which would not be "imperfect" for the next person. If you can, please share your concept with me.
As for God and/or the Trinity, She/He is a mystery. If God were so easy to define/place in a box as the Watchtower makes Her, then She wouldn't be God.
Would I ever go back? I'm a WOMAN who has become accustomed to freedom of thought and action. Enough said.
Regards,
SandraC
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how i have been doing.......
by Shytears in.
hey everyone!just wanted to say im doing alittle better..i still didnt say nothing to the elders or my parents about what happened that night,i think i never will,doesnt bother me like i thought it would.i never talked to the guy since,and i really dont care if he doesnt talk to me...i think he tried to call once but i wasnt home,oh well.im moving on.... one thing that irritates me,i ask my parents questions on wts this and that,its always the same crap,jehovah will take care of it..blah blah blah...umm no i dont think he will.he never took care of anything with me,i always did it myself...i also asked them about the witnesses getting molested and abused,and they said just because one person may have done that doesnt mean its the whole org,and they say the person turned away from jehovah....i disagree,i think its a problem with the whole org,they try to hide stuff and cover it up...its just sick,very sick.also they are so judgemental,its sad..sometimes i wish i could tape what they say and play it back to them,to see how they react to themself.i still love them but sometimes i think the wts messed their head up.... also i went to the meeting last night,((gag))same old stuff,people shun me and im not even da or df,i didnt feel like going but i made myself because i knew my mom was gonna put this guilt trip on me,so i didnt feel like arguing with her..all those people are so mean,so unloving,i hate going over there,i think ill pretend im sick or something next time,lol,bye!!
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Mum
Hi, Laura. Thanks for checking in with us. You seem to be handling your situation very well. You don't seem as frantic as you did in your first posts here, which is very good.
If I had been as smart at age 16 as you are, I would be much better off today. I think you're handling your life with your parents and your former love interest as well as you possibly could. You do love your parents, so you can go along with them even though you disagree with some of their ideas.
It took courage for you to ask your parents the questions you talked about in your post. I'm sorry you are shunned at the KH, but admire your love and respect for your parents. They probably don't realized how blessed they are to have a daughter like you who is struggling with questions but does not make any real problems for them. So, on their behalf, I will tell you that you are a wonderful daughter who does what is right by her family even when it's very hard to do.
The abuse question is hard hitting. There are abusers in every religion, but there is no excuse for Roman Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, or any other group to protect the abusers. It sounds as though your parents need the security and certainty they think they are getting from the organization. So they are where they should be now.
Your courage and questioning lead you down a lonely path, but we are here for you. Hang in there!
Best regards,
SandraC
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Mum
DazedN,
Here is what I meant: (1) She is being protected from the consequences of her behavior so she can't learn; (2) You seem to be trying expecting to bring about change while rewarding the allegedly undesired behaviors; (3) IMO, you (albeit inadvertently) are sending her a message that you consider her too weak to accept responsibility and consequences.
I got the "science project" comment from a co-worker who, when he separated from his first wife, told her, "I'm not your science project."
I can't remember who it was who spoke about "tough love," but that poster's comments pretty much sum up what I think, along with kelpie's comments.
I am thankful to people who did not allow me to wallow in self-pity and did not support the weakest part of my character.
Regards,
SandraC
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Where are the Prophets and the Dreamers?
by Elsewhere inaccording to the jw's we are in the last days, right?
so where are the prophets and dreamers?
acts 2:17. .
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Mum
Hi, Elsewhere. Well, I took a college course in Psychology of Religion some time ago. Our professor said that the "great religious thinkers" of our time (prophets and dreamers?) are in mental institutions. He cited some Biblical examples and told us that people who behaved as Jeremiah, for example, would in this day and age be committed.
So why are all of those JW's running loose through our neighborhoods?
Regards,
SandraC
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my story
by buffman inwow, what a welcome!
thanks guys.
i figured i would start a new thread to tell you about my story.
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Mum
Hi, buffman. Welcome. More than 20 years ago, I divorced my JW husband. Actually, he divorced me after I left and he decided I wasn't coming back. I left the org at the same time. The adjustment period can be very traumatic, but at least you have some support from this and similar sites. Back then, we who left were on our own and had no one to talk to who really understood.
Unfortunately, JW's recruit people who are basically unhappy and already have issues. Put them in a mind control cult and those issues get totally out of hand. Glad you're free. Welcome to freedom!
Regards,
SandraC
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47
Suicidal fear of rejection.
by seven006 inthe fear of rejection has once again controlled my life and my actions in an unintentional act of self destruction brought on by how i was raised to view life.
i have come to the conclusion that i will probably be battling this psychological whirlpool of self sabotage for the rest of my life and i do not think i have the ability to completely eliminate it.
talking about it here is a start.
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Mum
Dave,
Let me tell you about a guy I knew once. I worked at a hospital for physical rehabilitation. We had a patient who actually did shoot himself in the head, but he lived. He had left hemiplegia, but was amazingly healthy and whole otherwise. That's why I would never shoot myself: I know I'd just bungle it and be the old lady that everybody whispered about.
Take care,
SandraC