Posts by Mum

43

DF'ed and Confused...

by Stumbeline in

so i think the title pretty much says it all.

i have a tendancy to be long winded about things, so i'll just give a general introduction and maybe tell things as i go along.

i don't even really know what i want from this site (ironically i remember jehovahs-witness.net mentioned from the platform as a site not to go to).

Relax and enjoy being free. I left the borg long before the internet, and it was a lot tougher back then. I'm glad you're moving out of state and starting over. That should make it easier for you. It's what I did as well.

It took me two years to be mentally free after I left. So be patient with yourself. Take baby steps if necessary, but find out who you really are underneath all of those high-control motivated things you've been told.

I recommend reading Dr. Wayne Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones. That book helped me change the way I look at things and to let go of guilt and anger.

Give yourself permission to explore your options and become the person you want to be, not a person controlled by others.

Best wishes for a happy future!

38

What is your favorite gospel music?

by Zoos in

my taste in music is pretty eclectic.

i was listening to some andrea bocelli this afternoon and found this on youtube.. .

oh my god!!!.

Mum

There isn't so much gospel music anymore. It has been replaced by those insipid "praise songs." I was taken to the Holiness Church when I was small. I love the songs we used to sing then, such as "The Old Rigged Cross," "Victory in Jesus," "I'll be a List'nin' for my Name," and "When the Roll is Called up Yonder," to name a few.

23

Appeal Against Elders Decision... Can Anyone Advise..

by Almond in

i meet a 6 years baptised jw girl.

we planned to marry here in philippines ( no divorce here }.

judge told me he can do the marriage so we livived together to be married.

Mum

Almond, my friend, I don't know if you are a JW, or if only your wife is. Your post seems to indicate that only she is. If so, explain to her the benefits of being disfellowshipped! She is free to read, do, think, exercise free will, and just to live as a human being, without having to have permission. She is trying to be a "good girl," and needs to be reminded that she is not a child.

I agree with Honesty and others here who have told you that you do not owe the JW elders ANYTHING! They have set themselves up as "they who give or take away god's favor." It's just their imagination! Get over it!

Now, you and your wife go and enjoy the benefits of marriage, and be the only two in your marriage. Throw everyone else out, especially JW elders. Enjoy!

4

17 April 1907

by compound complex in

busiest day at ellis island: 11,747 immigrants processed.. did any of your great grandparents pass through those portals?.

cc.

Mum

Not mine. On my mom's side, they came from Germany or Switzerland in 1727. On my dad's side, they came from the Scottish Isle of Jura in 1739. We Appalachian Americans did not come through Ellis Island.

If I remember my American history correctly, American factories needed lots of workers at the turn of the 20th century, so they started allowing lots of southern and eastern Europeans in to do those dirty jobs. Now we need workers to pick fruit, and they come from Mexico for the most part. They are treated badly, but, thankfully, keep coming.

To me, there are no "illegal aliens." I'm pretty sure my ancestors were not invited, but they were allowed to live and accepted as Americans.

27

loesch likes C of C

by bigmac in

.

Mum

It was very decent and open-minded of him to give the book some free publicity!

10

Life after meetings

by GoUnion in

what are the positives in your life since leaving jws?

mine would be a healthier lifestyle mentally and physically.

i'm free to do what i want and can make my own decisions, is this good for me will it help me or could it hurt someone else?

Mum

I have been out since 1979. I got a B.A. degree, traveled without having to attend an assembly, got my daughter un-indoctrinated. She has a degree in chemistry and a wonderful husband. My granddaughter and great granddaughter have had NO exposure to the JW's except that my granddaughter attended a couple of meetings when visiting her grandfather (from whom I have been divorced since 1981). My granddaughter, after attending a meeting, said, "They're insane!" Bright girl!

I have read many self-help books and got a handle on my feelings and priorities. I had a lot of jobs, one of which is providing me with a good retirement income. I do what I like, and like what I do.

Leaving my first husband and the JW's was the scariest thing I ever did. I almost didn't survive emotionally, and my daughter was used as a pawn to control me. But I can say the outcome was all worth it.

Congratulations on a new and better life!

34

I am DF'd now... Decisions, decisions...

by Comatose in

so i was df'd a couple weeks ago.

i live in a place where i didn't really have new friends at the kh, so my day to day life isn't changing.

i'm just me living life like i was 2 weeks ago and 2 years ago.

Mum

How old is your daughter? If she's a toddler, I think you should behave as if everything is normal. I would take them to her grandparents' house and behave normally, but I would not leave her to them because, as I heard Dr. Laura once said to a caller with a JW mother-in-law, to them ultimate salvation can only come by being indoctrinated.

If she is older, does she believe the JW doctrine herself? Does she want a relationship with her grandparents? If she has not been duped by the JDubs, I would instruct her to let her grandparents ramble, to tell you what they said, and then instruct the grandparents to back off if they want to see their granddaughter. Your daughter's feelings need to be considered. If she doesn't want to be preached at, I wouldn't force her.

Most of all, educate your daughter about brainwashing, cult-think versus real thinking. Help her to have an open mind and to accept people where they are and not try to change them, but, at the same time, not allow them to change her. Encourage her to reach her career and educational goals and offer her what help you can. If you can't help her when she is having a problem with school or psychological issues, please get outside help.

All the best for a happy future! Welcome to freedom!

Mum

22

this is how witnessing is being done nowadays

by losingit in

i have a non jw friend that knows about jws only bc i related toher my experience leaving this abusive cult.

anyhoo, she went to starbucks yesterday and there was an older man on his laptop.

she sat next to him while she did work on her tablet.

Mum

hamsterbait: Do you mean a verb and a pronoun - initials FY?

19

The End of Circuit Overseers

by wisdomfrombelow in

i am sure that the term "circuit overseer" will be gone soon.

they seem to be changing vocabulary and the presiding overseer is now the "coordinator of the body of elders" and all "district overseers" will be gone in a few months.

they used to be called "circuit servants" but they will never re-hash an old term so they will make a new term.

Mum

Bishop, i.e., what it really is?

29

Joining a Church and advice from co-workers!!!!!!!!!!

by Jon Preston in

so im obviously out mentally....i havent da-ed but i cant care less!

but.....my co workers are encouraging me to find and join a church.

this person is particularly "wisdomonian" meaning she seems to solve and assist many an ailing indicidual in my field.

Mum

I believe the Church of Christ, like the JW's, considers itself the only "true" church. That mentality needs to go. Give yourself time to explore and learn before you commit to a particular denomination.