Is there a place for hate in dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses? Feedback please!
happysunshine
JoinedPosts by happysunshine
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Is there a place for hate?
by happysunshine inis there a place for hate in dealing with jehovah's witnesses?
feedback please!
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Did Being JW make YOU a Social Misfit or HERMIT?
by Smoldering Wick inas i sat quietly in my apartment...staring at the computer screen, i got this overwhelming feeling of being totally alone.
don't get me wrong, i feel comfortable alone.
but, how did i end up this way?
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happysunshine
Ok, so I was born into a big organization of people and never really had to learn how to make friends. Your friends were provided for you. You didn't have to put much effort into keeping these friends as they were always there. They had to be nice to you or else they would look like bad witnesses.
Well said Wicky. After leaving, that is one of the things I apreciated most about making new friends - they were mine.
I really value the friends I make now. They are just interested in me, no duty friendships, no obligation to stay. This makes the ones that stay all the more precious.
Back to your original concern. I think its inportant to remember that despit our witness experience, we are still normal people. Some are more social than others, but we can learn and grow. When I first left I was totally isolated. I remember going to the bar (bad idea) or gym just to talk to people. I had to kind of start at the bottom of the social ladder, having no social history from highschool or whatever. I really had to work to look normal to other people, sometimes glossing over the bad parts from my past. But within a couple of months I met a good guy, then his friends, and so on. Those original friends were so important to me, still now. They've helped me emotionaly, socialy, and finacialy more than any witness ever did, especialy when my back was against the wall. So I generaly recommend socializing, its healthy. Join a club, project, cause, university class, job, etc., and you'll instantly get friendships happening. Treat people well. And remember that this time around its all YOU having the friends, not some fake union.
Excellent link from Lisa. I still have a challenge with that now, black/white thinking. Non-exclusive romantic attraction, betrayal of trust, shifting friendships, and 'grey' morality are sore spots with me. These occasionaly all converge in issues related to romance, and I find this a potent mixture. But I'm still eons ahead of what I was as a witness. Take care all- J
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Any University students here? (part II)
by happysunshine inthe start of this thread is here:.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=41588&site=3.
wow!
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happysunshine
The start of this thread is here:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=41588&site=3
Wow! Thats awesome everyone! Anymore comments or reflections?
I forgot to mention I'm an applied linguistics student at the university of Victoria in Canada. Our department is the world leader for research into the indiginous languages of North America. I have more of a practicle bent, so I specialized in Japanese and ESL. Lots of jobs and travel oportunities! It's the first time in my life that employers were seeking me out! I've been very fortunate, traveling Japan, China, Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia. Got a job lined up in Japan after graduation in April, should stay for a few years.
I remember how proud I was when I got my first student card. It feels SO good to be getting an education. I was on a fast track to becoming a janitor/pioneer until I pulled myself up by my bootstraps at 21 and started living. Life is beautiful. -J
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Any university students?
by happysunshine inany college/university students here?
where do you go, what are you taking, and hows your experience so far?
don't be shy!
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happysunshine
Any college/university students here? Where do you go, what are you taking, and hows your experience so far? Don't be shy! -J
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'Religion' after the Witnesses?
by happysunshine in'religion' after the witnesses?
is it possible?
any comments?
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happysunshine
excellent comments all! You've given me a lot to chew over. -J
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Questions about meds and therapy ( general)
by Cyn ini am rather knew here and not very "talkative"...... i do have some questions that i hope to get some answers for....... #1. do doctors perscribe 3 medications at on time if they suspect that you are bipolar or do they begin with one and add on????.
#2. does depakote cause weight gain ( or has it for those who have taken it )?.
#3. what type of therapy ( therapist) is recommened for ptsd???.
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happysunshine
Hang in there!
One note of caution: remember that this is your challenge, you have the final say. I have more than one very close friend who went through the mental health system. Don't think of the doctors as knowing everything - a kind of new priesthood. They don't. I've heard their efforts to heal the mind compared to a man with a stone hammer trying to cut a beautiful diamond. They just don't know everything. The danger comes when they try to give authoratative guidance on issues they aren't 100% sure of- namely your life.
One close friend was on meds for 6 years, but the original diagnosis would completely change depending on who he saw and how he was currently acting! A new 'label'. Scary! One general M.D., open to the general public, even suggested that he may be a repressed homosexual. He made this 'professional diagnosis' after 5 minites, and threw my friend out after 10 upon finding out he actualy did have heterosexual preferences. His parting words- "I can't help you then."
Another guy I went to school with until recently was recommended for Cambridge university to do his masters in neuro-psycology, focusing on psyciatric drugs. He did a psychology/philosopy dual undergrad honors major- a smart dude. I was shocked last year when he told me he frequently had suicidal thoughts. He said there was no way he would tell a couselour or take antidepressants. He had already done interns at psychiatric hospitals and said the success rate, and drug knowledge, was so low that he would rather find another way to deal with.
In all these cases, anyone of these medical doctors has the power to institutinalize you for up to 7 days against your will. They can actualy call the police to enforce it.
I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to empower you. I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful, and believe inyourself. I really think that a wholistic (community, food, lifestyle, etc...) solution is best. Primarily because it is self-maintaining. Drugs and doctors can't live with you forever. Take care- J
P.S.- I'm just trying to help. Really. If this info is too upsetting for you, just forget it. Take care.
Edited by - happysunshine on 30 November 2002 19:15:4
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Happy Thanksgiving
by happysunshine in.
edited by - happysunshine on 30 november 2002 16:53:36edited by - happysunshine on 30 november 2002 16:55:53.
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happysunshine
why the deleted can't I post pictures? They show up all right in the composition stage! -J
Edited by - Englishman on 1 December 2002 4:17:33
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happysunshine
(((((Dude!)))))
wowa! Rough stuff! I don't know all the details, but from what you wrote, I'll give a little input.
It sounds like you're not satisfied with her behaviour. It also sounds like she's repeatedly engaged in this behaviour anyways, despite your expressing concern. What do you get out of this relationship?
Are you afraid of divine retribution for divorce? Do you enjoy being someone to her that she can't find elsewhere? I think its hard to find a person to accept that behaviour; so she'd 'value' you. Do you enjoy having a reason to feel like a saint/martyre/masochist?
All of these are ok. Its your life, your right. But it helps A LOT to analyze what you want. Why you are involved. Shoot for the stars my man.
Another couple of proverbial sayings, "you only hit what you aim at" and "shoot for the stars. If you miss, you're still in heaven." You can't get what you want if you don't know what you want. Take care. My biased thoughts. -J
P.S.- I think a lot of 'pop' advice fails to address the roots of the trouble; reasons. I mean saying "don't do this" or "don't put up with that and get the hell out of there" seems like stuff they've already heard or know. I think of an alcoholic and telling them that alcohol is bad, to get rid of it. Doesn't get to WHY they are having the problem. True, enough positive input can influence someone, but the change must occur within the individual. They have to want it.
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'Religion' after the Witnesses?
by happysunshine in'religion' after the witnesses?
is it possible?
any comments?
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happysunshine
'Religion' after the Witnesses? Is it possible? Any comments? -J