to anyone who clicks on this thread and cares to post upon it.
i have a few questions for you.
do you value this forum on its ability to keep newbies/recent posters to stick around, therefor: stay.
I started out on the old H2O, and finally came here. I get busy and forget about the board sometimes, then I think, hey! I wonder what's going on. Then I come back. It is a little addicting, wanting to know how everyone is, and who is going to yell at who. But I like it. And as not even my sister understands how I feel about jws (she still see some good in them) I come here to talk to people who understand. I've made friends here and you can never have enough of that.
Pam
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what kind of an example are we setting for young witness girls regarding modesty?
i personally think she looks nice, although maybe she should try for some darker colors; but because of her jw affiliation, it justs makes one stagger at the double standards.
I've been laughing so hard at this thread I can hardly see. I would love to have her legs though.
Pam
gday all,
hows your weekend going?
some of our regular contributors, like englishman and mulan, are away on vacatiion, but for us, thats all over!
This looks like fun
door to door ministry (that's the focus of my mom's life right now,she is trying to do more.)
Pam
could anyone tell me what the policy is when a dfed person wants reinstatement?
are they questioned about their behavior while dfed or does that have any relevance since they were outside wts policy during that time?.
northern girl.. .
I was df once and then I was reinstated. What I have found is no person in the cong will really forgive you. Be prepared for people pointing at you and talking behind your back. Every new person who moves in the area will learn of your background, how you were df once. I would love to be reunited with my grandma again (she died a good jw) but it won't be through the jws. Being reinstated doesn't bring you acceptance into the cong. My df happened 22 years ago, but there are still people who have never forgotten. This is one reason I stopped going, I spent years and years trying to be perfect and make up for my mistakes. I was never good enough. Whenever a single man looked my way, other in the cong would tell them that I would not be a good person to get to know because I was df once.
You have a chance to have a life NG, don't give it back to them.
Pam
ps now I kind of understand where you are coming from and why you may respond to somethings as you do. Being df is one of the most unpleasant experiences that can happen to a person.
i have a distant cousin, 15 and in a wheel chair.
she's always saying how she can't wait until the new system comes when finally she'll be set free from her handicap and can run around with joyful glee.
it breaks my heart knowing this is never gonna happen and makes me even more angrier.
I know a few women who went to college. People talked about them like they were sleeping around or something. One grew up a jw, and went to college anyway. Then she found a worldly man and made him become a jw before she would marry him. They now have kids, she lets her kids do whatever activites they want. Jws in the area look down on her, and I hear there is much fighting in that house as hubby is now an elder. She is rare amoung jws.
The other decided to go to nursing school, as her husband worked construction and they needed a steady income. I felt sorry for her because people treated her so bad. You would have thought she killed someone. It has been years since she got her nursing degree,but some people still treat her bad.
A few years ago, going to trade or vocational school was okay because it was ususally only a year or two. But full time university is still frowned on. The wt does not come straight out and say hey, don't go, but they let their feelings be known anyway.
I grew up jw, and pioneering was the only thing a kids was supposed to do. Anyone who goes to college is seen as weak. And weak people are ignored and avoided. It's almost like being df without really getting into trouble.
Pam
the avg jw when confronted with pass issues such as not going to college, setting up retirement plans while you are 23 for when you get 65, seeking a better paying job will often try to hide behind
"it was a personal decision".
while in one context that is true, there is one problem.
These service meeting parts always came out fall when kids were going back to school. after all, had to get the seniors thinking of life after highschool. And in school now days kids are expected to go to college, so jw kids stick out even more for not going on to some kind of schooling. I remember wanted to go to college and having it pounded into my brain during my senior year that I wanted to pioneer now that I was done with learning. Is anyone ever done with learning? Now I go to college on and off, when I can afford it. But it is not the same. So glad I could give my own sons more choices.
...you see northern girl is back "gracing" the boards, and you know it's time to go back into hiding.
the only thing worse than vitriol is specious (and, i might add, poorly phrased, punctuated and misspelled) vitriol, aimed at those least deserving.
i am not in a mood to take her lame, semi-literate attempts to upset everyone here.
I guess it takes all kinds to but today I am just out of sorts and I am getting tired of playing nice. I guess I will have to stop reading today so that I can control my temper. I have never gotten angry on the board and I am determined to keep it that way. But some people just push all the right buttons.
Pam
this just in from the globe weekly tabloid of july 29, 2003:.
it's not just stars like gwyneth paltrow, madonna, gillian anderson, liv tyler, and gwen stefani--british guys are many american gals' cup of tea.. "british men are more articulate, mature, and sophisticated," says cary cooper, a university of manchester (england) psychologist, who isn't entirely biased since he was born in hollywood and has citizenship of both the u.s. and the u.k. he adds that british men are better listeners and pay more attention to their women, while u.s. men are too juvenile.. "british men also invest more in a relationship and are more emotional," cooper says.. "american men are good at talking about emotion, but really that's all it is, talk.".
speaking of talk, might those sexy accents have something to do with it?.
At this point in my life, I wouldn't care what his accent, as long as he was kind and polite and male.
I'm starting to think I have been single way to long.
Pam
so many of us, so many reasons we left or were kicked out.
from that point, how long did it take for you to not feel guilty about things and realize that the wts is not the "truth" as they always claim and that they have no say in whatever happens to us later.. for me, it was a slow fade.
not so much because i was determind to leave it; it was basically laziness in that regard.
I tried for years to hang on, because I didn't know there was anything else. But being pushed around by men just because I was a woman really ticked me off. The elders even had a 'brother' study with my son because I was a woman, and he needed a role model. Yuck! Finally out of loneliness I married a non-jw. and stopped going to meetings. I got the internet in 98 but it took me a year to look up exjws. And I only did it because my mom was laying so much guilt on me for killing her grandchildren. Then I found out about the generation change, and saw I do not need to be guilty, I am not killing my children.But all together it took about 4 years of not going before I decided I would never return.
Pam
i have a distant cousin, 15 and in a wheel chair.
she's always saying how she can't wait until the new system comes when finally she'll be set free from her handicap and can run around with joyful glee.
it breaks my heart knowing this is never gonna happen and makes me even more angrier.
Northern Girl:
I do not know what you are talking about. Being helpful? Being a jw is not helpful to my sister. Because we were raised a jw, she quit high school. So she is a deaf jw with no high school education. We were both teenagers in 1975 and everyone said the end was coming. Her husband is hard of hearing, and what does he do? He cleans offices and floors for a living, he works for other 'brothers'. Because he just can't work for worldly people, they don't understand his problem. What a crock.They are so short on money that their daughter used to support them. They had to go to CA for the district assembly. That is where the deaf one is. My mother had to give them the money to do it. Why because her husband will not get a real job.My sister is one of the smartest people in world, if she would have been allowed to get an education, no telling where she would have been today. I blame the jws for her not getting one.
I personnally feel being a jw is one of the worst things anyone can do. You can disagree all you want, but it hasn't made you a very nice person. I also am not having anymore discussions with you.
