Memories of childhood;
I grew up in the 1940 war time situations. My older brother in prison for obeying the wbts ban on any military service. Even though he was offered alternative service in a large hospital. My parents were older than most, Dad was 56 when I was born. My mom had a nervous breakdown when I was born. My oldest sister had just had a child out of wedlock and my father had a stroke. Now this didn't happen just because I was born! So no smart remarks here! But it was not a good time to come into a world at war. My 16 yr old sister raised me for the first few years of life. My mother was a rabid jw my father could care less about religion. The only thing we ever did was go out in service. No vacations no trips no picknicks no nothing. My fathers family were all in Norway and my mothers family would not have anything to do with her "us" due to the religion and my mother having my oldest sister out of wedlock. Her dad disowned her and threw her out at 18 yrs of age. So there were no grand parents no uncles/aunts no cousins to be a part of the family.
I was fed and clothed and not verbaly or physicaly abused. I was just there and tolerated. Never praised or any special events just for me. There was no sexual abuse in the family. I could never do enough to please my mother regarding the religion. I do not recall any events that stand out in my mind until I was around 14 yr old and mom dad and I would go to town on the first of the month when dads navy pension arrived and eat in a restaurant.
We only associated with jw's and even then at a young age I didn't find them all that kind or accepting. There always seemed to be a kind of wall there.
I grew up not liking my mother. When I got older and looked back on things I understood more about life and realized that mom and dad did the best they knew how and were able to do given their age- the turmoil they were in and my mothers guilt over her illegitimate child and the illegitimate child my older sister had. I am sure that being a jw and dealing with these things are what caused the breakdown and her guilt problems. My dads age and ill health limited the things he could do with me as a child. I no longer hold anything against them. They were victims of life and the wbts and the cold hearted actions of some people. I only wish I could somehow express this to them now.
If one has bad feelings for their parents for sexual abuse or physical abuse or abandonment I don't know how this could be forgiven. But if we hold bad feelings due to out parents being jw's or the trials of life I recommend that we take another look at their circumstances and give them some slack.
So even though I don't have any hilights that stand out in my mind about good times as a child I am satisfied that it could have been much worse and It was not all bad.
