Hi 5th, it is nice to have you here.
When I was a jw and faced the {vasectomy} issue, I just found the right time " a fishing trip with friends non jw's of course" and had it done in private. For reasons not known, I came home with no fish.
I am sure some here will expound on this sentence.
Don't worry about us trying to convert or corrupt you.
We don't have the time or the inclination to do so.
Although I ought to say, that once a person finds the means and the time to investigate his feelings and beliefs, it most usually results in some restructuring of beliefs.
I once had all of your beliefs and fears and confusion and a lot of cognitive dissonance, which displayed itself as a constant low level of anger. sometimes called as depression.
Now I find myself pondering God and Jesus and the bible and the universe and myself without an interfering organization between us and all those unwanted troublesome mental / emotional feelings went away .
I am responsible for my acts in life and the outcome and I have released the wbts from any responsibility. They thanked me in a rather strange way, but I accept that also.
Outoftheorg